Bridal Shower/Bachelorette party etiquette questions

I think the bach party is supposed to be much smaller and more intimate - i only had my BMs at it.

the shower - i have heard both as well. i didn't invite every female - especially those i knew would not be able to travel for it

Thanks RWC - I've been thinking the same thing

Honestly I think it's personal preference....Typically bach parties are kept rather small (especially if traveling somewhere) and it's usually just the BMs/really close friends.

For showers- I have heard about inviting every female....but I think that all depends on how big your guest list is and how close you are to everyone. Most of the women invited to my wedding will probably be invited to my shower mainly because they all live close enough and I'm close to them.

Thanks for your thoughts Rachel - I plan on inviting most of the ladies on my guest list but there are some that are girlfriends/wives of some of FH's friends, that I am not close to and didn't think I needed to invite.

Given the fact that your bach party is outta town and costing $$$

i think its fine to only invite your close friends, most veges stag/stagette parties are bridal party and a few friends

just make sure you invite everyone to the shower

I have a co-worker that was complainging the other day about another wedding. She was offended that she got invited to the bridal shower and the wedding but not the bachelorette party. She said it felt like she was only good enough for presents. FWIW she's the same age as the bride.

*Just playing devil's advocate. I have no idea what the actual guidelines are for these things.

Don't invite ANYONE to the shower that is not invited to the wedding. (with the exception of if you mom wants to invite her friends) That being said you don't need to invite someone to the shower that is invited to teh wedding. (really if you don't want to invite them they wont be offended justmeans they save money cause they don't have to buy you a present for the shower)

That being said FH girlfriends should only be invited to the shower if they are invited to the wedding.

Batchlorette party you can invite anyone as presents are not a necessity at batchlorette partys and people still like to come party and have fun with you. Batchlorette partys are enjoyable for most people and if you want to keep it small that also shouldn't offend people but those are more open to whatever you want to do.

Sami - I see that side of it as well and that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want anyone to feel that way, because it really isn't the case. I wouldn't be inviting someone to one of these parties if they weren't special and important to me. Hopefully I won't run into that scenario.

Soon2bmrs.smith - everyone invited to the bach party and bridal shower are definitely invited to the wedding. I would never invite someone to either of those parties that I wasn't planning on inviting to the wedding. It just got confusing to me, because the bach party would be way too big if I invited every friend from the shower to it, but I don't want to not include friends from being a part of my shower. I just don't want to offend or hurt anyone, but I'm also learning that it's impossible to make everyone happy lol

Our wedding is roughly 1/3 family on each 1/3 friends so I only ended up with 15 women my age that even made sense to invite based on location and relationship, of which 5 are my bms and the rest are my cousins or college friends and two of FH relatives. Based on previous bachelorette parties I've been to I'll be shocked if more than 10 ladies come all total.