Bridal Shower Traditions

My mom and my FMIL are both hosting for their respective sides, and that's pretty normal I think. Literally no one wants to sit and watch someone open 80 presents in one day!

I agree! I went to a shower with nearly 70 people once and it took forever. My aunts are going to keep it small, but I'm sure my FMIL isn't going to be pleased when her side is not invited.

I am having one for each side of the family as well. I never thought my aunts/FMIL would do anything different that planning it that way. I don't think there is a "supposed to" way of doing showers though.

I would let your aunts know about what is going on and let them decide how they want to do it. If they would like to get in contact with FMIL or not and if they say no, they want to do the small family one, just explain that to FMIL and let it go? I'm sure they posters will jump in with better advice

I have separate ones on each side, but only because his family lives 2 hours away.

One shower. I think showers are the perfect opportunity for families to get to know each other, as your FMIL said. If she would like a joint shower, she should offer to host it with your mom.

You do NOT have to invite EVERY woman to your shower (but really... 200?? You're having like 400 guests??). Just invite close friends and family.

I have only ever been to showers that included both sides of families. FH and I have been together 8 years, I can't imagine his family not being there.

I'm probably going to have two - One for my family (who lives 500 miles away), and one with Fh family and friends who live locally

We are having a combined total of 200 guests invited (not 200 women), with a large chunk of those being plus ones extentended to our single guests. I do not want a large shower, and FMIL has not offered to help host a large one, she just expects my aunts to host whomever she wants invite. I think I'll give my aunts a head's up about what she is saying and let them take it from there.

In our circle of friends you have as many as people are willing to give (brides side, grooms side, work, friends, etc) but this is usually when one of the families is in a different city or the couple lives away from the family. My Sis-in-law had 3. One from our family, her family, and one from friends. She and my brother live 4 hours away.

I, on the other hand am only having 1. I live in the same town as my family and all of my friends are here. My fiance has a VERY small family so they will be invited to the one. I have a huge family so it will probably be a big shower.

In my area, a bride has at least 3 showers: one thrown by a relative of her mother, one thrown by a relative of her FMIL, and one thrown by her friends. The bride may also have a shower thrown by friends of her mother and someone will usually offer to host a bridal luncheon as well. It's very normal to have multiple showers. Your FMIL really should offer to host or one of her relatives should offer to host. In my experiences, the FMIL goes to all of the showers (except the friends' shower usually and anything that isn't appropriate for her to go to like a lingerie shower).

I have no sisters. My mother has passed away. My FH mother has passed away. He does have 2 sisters. My bridesmaids and friends will throw one shower. We will also have a separate bachelorette party... For just about 10 of us.

I had one. I have been to a few where each side does one.

I am accustomed to one shower for everyone but as PPs said, you DO NOT have to invite every woman on your guest list. If you're not comfortable, I don't see anything wrong with having 2 showers, but only if someone on his side offers.

My side of the family does a batchelor/batchelorette party as a welcome to the family thing where each guest brings an unusual item as present (think broom, mop, sponges, detergent, toilet paper), I'm not sure if FH's family will be able to attend (though they'll be invited)... my MOH just told me she's planning one with our college friends (a get together at her place) and FSIL said she's having a BBQ for both of us as well with their friends (which are mine too after 10+ years)

I had two. The first was thrown by my BMs and I invited all the girls my age. My FMIL also threw us a couples shower which was the one the older family and friends were invited to.

This is way too much showering.

I think its a situation by situation thing. My mom and FMIL have already spent the holidays whispering in corners all their plans, what we did with FH sisters shower was we had her open her gifts while everyone was eating, we did have it at a restaurant and it was plated meals, but 60 people and by the time they were done soup, salad, lunch, and then deserts went around she was finished.

I had one shower. We had about 50 people (130 invited to wedding) . Both sides were there and it was a perfect way for the families to meet. I wouldn't want to have two..

All of the showers I've been to had both sides of the family. They also weren't focused on gifts though. If you plan on opening gifts for hours then have 2. Sounds incredibly boring. Most people would rather mingle and eat and drink then sit there and watch you open dish towels and blenders.

I've been offered two showers and don't want both. But my mom is pushing for me to accept both offers, so I may end up caving to appease her. If I do have two showers, I'll invite both families to one and friends to the other. Showers are to both shower the couple with gifts and introduce family members to each other.