Bridal shower tickets - opinions needed.

I've never heard of a ticket option... but I think that sounds great! We weren't part of our shower since it was a surprise but I think we would've probably gone that route too. However, even though we have a full house of stuff... we wanted to new stuff so the new stuff we got was def appriciated

I have to say, this would definitely rub me the wrong way. Traditionally, the purpose of a shower is to give tangible gifts, not cash. And the main entertainment is opening those gifts. So for someone who doesn't need gifts at all, having a shower in which people are asked to, in effect, bring money would strike me as gift grabby. However, it sounds like they are common in your area, so your potential invitees may not have the same reaction I do.

Good point 2d Bride... I never thought of it like that!

I was worried about the same thing 2nd Bride, I don't want to offend anyone, and had considered just skipping the shower, but it is kind of a way for me to meet FH's family and their family to meet my family kind of thing, so were not all just thrown together at the wedding with no time to really talk since its crazy busy, a lot more people and loud music! lol

First of all, you shouldn't be an active participant in planning your bridal shower. A shower is a great way for everyone to meet, just as you've said, but the ticket thing is a little weird.....

I don't see why I shouldn't be a participant? I am not planning it, but I of course need to be aware of it and the details or it just wouldn't work.... ? How would they even know the guest list without me knowing about it?

Plus I HATE surprises! they give me anxiety! lol If they brought me to a room full of people without me knowing what was going on, I would not be ok! lol

Never heard of it but i am 27 and I do have a house full of stuff but I want new not goodwill and most of my stuff will go to the good will though to help others in need. I am working on making apartment a home instead of a college apartment.

Ours is already a home, we have all nice stuff already. We just finished going through all his stuff, and all my stuff and throwing out whichevers was less nice and keeping the good version! lol So we really need nothing!

I guess it all comes down to how the idea is presented maybe? When I attended them it was like, the bride and party would love you to join them, and you are welcome to bring a gift, but we have an alternative that is to buy a ticket instead which is in lieu of a gift. I didn't feel it was tacky at the time, but when I start thinking about doing it myself, I just don't want to offend anyone!

If you dont need anything , then just organize a family reunion and forget about the gifts. I am with 2d bride, the fun of showers is when everyone get together to open the gifts ...

I have never heard of this. It's not something I would particularly do, it feels like you are being charged admission to a movie or something verses going to a bridal shower. However, do WHATEVER works for you. I didn't need anything either, so for my bridal shower that my bridesmaids AND MYSELF planned I didn't register and I still received some very lovely things that I actually use.

Is it called a social instead of a shower? I have never been to one but in the town I went to middle school in they have things called wedding socials and they sell tickets, I never quite understood, but if they are normal in your area then why not? Another idea would be to ask people to donate to your fave charity in your honour instead of presents.

If you don't need anything what about asking people to donate to your favorite charity? Or if your shower is before Christmas why not ask everyone to bring an unwrapped, new toy that can be donated to Toys for Tots. You can also check out Brides Against Breast Cancer and have a pink shower. It's where everyone donates to that organization on your behalf. Just a thought.

And normally brides aren't a part of their shower planning. I gave my MOH a list of everyone I wanted invited and I let it go at that. Mine was a surprise though. Since they are throwing it on your behalf, the bride normally isn't involved. But it's what works best for you : )

I have never heard of the ticket thing-- but I did have one shower where in the invite it said, if you wish you can donate to our fund to buy the bride a kitchen-aid mixer. If you are interested, let us know when you RSVP. She got one big gift from most of the ppl in attendance and a few smaller goofy things. They had been living together for almost 10 years, already had a house and to me it just made sense. Its an idea if there is 1 big ticket item that you both still need.

If you want to have a shower but you don't need/want gifts...can't you just have whoever is organizing the shower just make it a luncheon? No gifts, no tickets, no asking for money. Just getting together with your family and getting to know your future husband's? People will likely bring giftcards for you anyway if you're worried about getting nothing. I also like Jessica C's idea about giving people the option of contributing to a larger item.

I would be highly offended by the ticket deal as a guest. You can have a giftless shower- if you really don't want/need gifts. Do a recipe collection, or share their best cleaning tip, or something similar. Depending on the crowd, you could do a lingerie shower as well.

Lol Meghan, no lingerie in front of the FMIL!! ohh man awkward!! Plus not for meeting the rest of his family for the first time lol! I love the idea of one big item though Jessica! Not sure what it would be, but that might be easier to come up with.

Hello!! I think that the ticket thing may rub lots of people the wrong way! (bc of 2nd bride comment ). My FH and I are in the same boat and have decided to do a small registry at Bed Bath and beyond and the second will be a honeymoon registry @ honeyfund.com! With the honeyfund registry your guest buy you vouchers for the things that u need for your trip (ie tickets, car rental, restaurants ecc) and then they bring u either a check or cash with a printed picture of what they got u! I think this idea is really cool and a good way to get cash without straight asking for money! Goodluck and congrats

If you don't need anything, then why not have a shower where you ask for a family recipe instead of a gift, or "advice" or something like that. Having a money option is fine, but to present it as "buy a ticket to get into the shower" seems odd to me. If my friend wanted to attend my shower but couldn't afford a gift, I would still love to have her attend. If people want to give you money, they will. They will probably tuck it discreetly in a card for the two of you. I love my friends and would go out and buy a gift for anyone of them if they were having a wedding shower, but I wouldn't even want to attend if they were requiring me to bring a gift (much less if they said, "No gift? 20 bucks!")

Whenever I register (be it for a shower, party or the wedding) I'll have small and large items, so if someone wants to buy a present but doesn't have a lot of money, they could buy a $5 item, on the other hand, if someone wanted to buy something larger, they could. No gift? No problem.

I think a good way to think about this question (and honestly, most etiquette questions) is to ask how you'd feel about it if you were a guest. (Or even better, how would your mom feel about it?) If you got a request to buy a ticket to a shower, would you feel fine with it or so-so or hate it?

I'm not crazy about most honeymoon and cash registries because they take a fee.

Most people who want to give you a gift will find a way to do it.