Bridal shower registry

The point of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts. You need a registry for that. There is no way to kindly ask for cash.

Yuck to all of it. Don't ask for cash that's straight up gross. Just don't register. And don't have a shower if you're not wanting to make a registry.

If you don't want gifts, don't have a shower and don't register.

... Don't ask for cash. Ever. Anywhere.

Asking for cash is tacky and extremely rude.

Have a small registry. People will get the hint.

With that being said, I wouldn't register at VS.....

I wouldn't register at VS either. That would be weird to me- I wouldn't want everyone seeing my undergarments. Nor would I want to buy something for a bride off a VS registry.

Don't ask for cash. Create a small registry or don't have one. No registry, no shower.

Stefanie - run.

Just don't register anywhere. People will give you cute Victorias Secrets stuff at the shower without you registering. You can always exchange it if need be.

Uh, can you register at Victoria's Secret? I don't think it's common to receive lingerie as a gift anymore unless it's at a designated lingerie shower. I would personally be horrified to receive lingerie from an older female relative, and I'm horrified that his mother is suggesting you register for lingerie. Long and short is that it is rude to ask for cash and you need a registry. If I am giving you a gift and you don't have a registry, we're both stuck. I don't give cash as gifts ever (in my area, it's considered crass), so you're at my mercy and you may hate what I choose as your gift. Then you return it and I come to visit and I don't see the "perfect" frame I gave you for your wedding photos and guess what? I'm offended because it's obvious that you haven't used what I gave you. You need a registry. Unless you want an avocado toaster and a jello mold, you need a registry and not one at Victoria's Secret. Gifts are supposed to be for both of you, with the only exception being a lingerie party/sex toy shower/party situation.

Victoria's Secret doesn't even have registries... probably because that's a little too personal to register for lol

Oh Lord. No to this whole post.

There is no "kind" way to ask for cash. Make a small registry of 2-5 items (sheets, towels, wine glasses, stuff you can always have more of) and your guests will get the hint.

I've heard of lingerie parties, but you don't register for them; the guests just bring you lingerie they think you'd like.

And NGL, not that she would, but I'd be weirded out if my FMIL suggested I registered at VS.

"Grandma please buy me this lacy thong. I'm sure your grandson will love it. "

Barf.

@Kate, they put that on the invitations? Goodness! Maybe I'm more discreet, but I would have made that a word-of-mouth note; as in, you ask, I'll tell and have an idea of what you're getting me.

Victoria's Secret doesn't do registries, but you can make a wishlist there. I did a small one with just some cute PJs, a couple of fragrances, and a makeup bag. Nothing super sexy. I'll get those things myself. I didn't want to open anything like that in front of everyone.

Asking for cash is considered tacky.

If you do a small registry with a couple upgrades or no registry at all people will usually take the hint and just give cash.

If you still want a shower ask for a passion party instead.

We are doing a small registry so my mom is throwing us a "booze and bras" party.

I would just skip the registry altogether. @Crescent makes a good point so maybe it's a know your crowd situation. I wouldn't mind giving cash. I also don't like to buy gifts from the couples registry for the bridal shower. I think the bridal shower should be for the bride. If the gifts are for the couple then both should be there to receive it. Hopefully if people do decide to buy you a gift they are not offended if you return in. I would be returning anything like a frame because I don't plan on displaying any of my wedding pictures.

@Jay, I've seen that before too for a lingerie shower invitation. For a bachelorette party, I usually give some type of lingerie; my go to is the Victoria's Secret bridal panty that says either Bride or I Do on the butt in light blue. Both brides that I have given that to as a bachelorette party gift wore them on their wedding days as both of their "something blue." But, those were for my two absolute closest of close friends. They wouldn't have been embarrassed and their bachelorette parties were such intimate affairs. But opening lingerie at a shower with your mom, FMIL, and their older female relatives and friends? I'm cringing.

@EW made my point! If I go visit EW for dinner and I don't see a wedding photo displayed in the let's say very expensive frame I gave her, I'm going to be salty all night and it would do some damage to our relationship. I personally think it's rude to return gifts and if someone gives me something I don't like, "thank you so much; it's so lovely!" And I make sure I have the gift displayed when the person comes over or if it's clothes, I wear the sweater/blouse/jacket/etc that the person gave me when I see said person. I may be in the minority here, but the thought of offending someone who cared enough to give me a gift makes my skin crawl. I never make gift returns. We got duplicates of gifts at our shower, and I still have both of the gifts.

There are registries where you can personalize like Honeymoon ones or Zola. You just get a check for what people select. They take out a small percentage, but in my mind it's worth it because people will feel like they're giving you a gift instead of just cash. You could add a line item on there that says, "help is save for our future house" or "a round of drinks on the honeymoon" and so forth.