Bridal Shower: Registry VS Off The List

I've done a few off the list presents for the bridal showers I've been to. For my best friend (MOH) and my SIL, I got them custom-made tote bags with their names and wedding dates on them (they were both going on cruises for their HMs so I thought it'd be something they could use on those).

I've also given customized Christmas ornaments (related to it being their first Christmas as a married couple) and things like that that I know they'll love.

Oh, I also got my girlfriend monogramed slippers for her shower - so something like that or a monogrammed robe would be super cute.

I think its hard to answer this one as I think there are regional differences here. I know that in my area (Northeastern US), traditionally gifts are given at the shower and a card (with cash) is given at the wedding. Honestly, at every wedding I have been to here (about 10) if any gifts are given at the wedding, it is maybe 1 or 2, all others are cards (with cash/checks I assume) and that includes my own wedding. That being said I always go registry for the bridal shower.

It depends. For family I have been making them afghans I their wedding colors, so not on the list. With friends I usually go off the list unless I find something that really screams they need it. I am doing a mix of that for the shower I am attending on Saturday, I can't share the specifics because the bride also hangs out in the forums and I don't want to spoil it.

I normally go off of the registries for at least part of the gift. Sometimes I give one or two personal items that wouldn't be part of a registry.

For friends/family I know well, I go off the list for the shower and a registry gift for the wedding. I usually do a monogrammed gift of some kind for the shower, and my friends have always loved it. I feel like ladies definitely want what's on their registry, but it can be nice to get a surprise too. For people I don't know as well, I just go with registry for both shower and wedding. (Here in the South, people mostly do boxed gifts rather than cash in cards).

The only time I go off the registry is to get them something similar (and usually better) than something on the registry. For example I got FH's cousin's wife these grill skillets, she registered for some cheapish ones (probably didn't think it was a big deal) at BBB but the better brand actually had some at Marshall's so I got them and they tell me all the time how much they use them and they are durable and perfect (no scratching, burning hands, etc). The other ones were really basic.

If it's a close friend or family member, I try to get something personal as well as something from the registry. If it's someone I'm not close with, I almost always buy from the registry.

Annoying story: My Matron of Dishonor (you all know her fun stories) - For her bridal shower, I was the MOH and I went off-registry. I got her all kinds of personalized stuff, a coach carry-on bag, etc and all she did afterwards was bitch and moan about how people didn't buy her things on her registry, which made me feel

really awesome.

So for her baby shower, I knew better! I only got her one personal gift and the rest I bought from her registry. I asked her how she liked the wipe warmer. Her response "It's actually really crappy. It's one of the worst gifts I've gotten" .... GREAT, THANKS, I BOUGHT IT FROM YOUR DAMN REGISTRY.

End rant.

Moral of the story, sometimes you can't win either way!

I tend to go off registry when I know the couple really well and/or if I see that there's something that truly is functional they haven't put on there. People want three different kinds of bundt pans, but a pressure cooker will make chicken, chili, hard boiled eggs in 5 minutes or less.

FSIL's shower is next weekend and I refinished a window pane with art prints from Harry Potter (she loves) and Star Wars & Superman (he loves), I also got her a couple little things like spatulas & a can opener, she had them on her registry but as part of a $50 set.

Thanks guys! I found some personal items she'll love and go on the registry for the wedding!