Bridal shower planning trouble

Literally anyone can throw the shower so if your sister hasn’t brought it up just tell your friend to go ahead with whatever plans she wants to make.

I had a similar situation. I told my MOH that if she didn’t want to do it, one of my bridesmaids was more than happy to step up and get it done. My MOH got right to it after that. Maybe your MOH isn’t aware that it’s her job or when she needs to start

View Quoted Comment 3 out of 4 of my bridesmaids live on my street lol my sister lives 1.45 hours away so I can’t meet up with her a lot unlike my friends and my friends house is the only big enough for a party. All my friend and i have done is just put a Pinterest board together.

View Quoted Comment I’m pretty sure she thinks it’s too early to plan, which maybe it is. I am wanting it in mid June. We all have so much going on this summer so that seemed to be the best time..... maybe mid July but that would only be about 3 weeks before the wedding

Ask your bridesmaid to reach out to the MOH and let her know that she would like to start planning it.

I would just call your sister and let her know one of your bridesmaids wants to plan the shower. Therefore not stepping on toes and you won't have to plan your own shower.

Maybe reach out to your sister and say your bridesmaid would like to help plan. That way your bridesmaid can bring it up to your sister without it seeming like she’s just taking over.

Yup! Just have the friend let your sister know, "hey! I want to throw a shower for Nichole, how does that sound?" If your sister wants to do something they can possibly do it together, otherwise it's full steam ahead for your bridesmaid! Of course she'll still want to invite your sister, but since your sister lives far away, she might not be there for the planning, and can maybe help the day of, help get addresses of family members, or just come as a guest. Whatever they are both comfortable with

I'd just ask your sister- "Hey- thinking ahead here, did you want to plan the bridal shower? One of the girls asked- she said she would help out or even throw it if party planning isnt your thing." That way, maybe your interested bm will still get to participate and it gives your sister a chance to get off the hook without stepping on any toes. Sometimes people don't know the etiquette or what's expected of them to go with the titles. And I usually find the more interested party will go out of their way to make it special.

I'm kind of in the same situation. My MOH came out to me and told me that she doesn't think she can plan this alone (I didn't expect her too either!). I told her I would help her plan, but it's kind of turned into me planning everything. I took a step back and have decided to stop planning altogether and whatever happens will happen...Especially the bridal shower. My other bridesmaids have reached out to me asking me if I need any help and they are excited to help. I created a group chat where they can talk together. Maybe your friends can start planning, but create a group chat where they can discuss some ideas and get logistics planned out since your sister is over an hour away.

Showers are not the MOH job, never have been. Because they are often brides closest and longest known friend, they often volunteer. Any good friend of the bride, whether or not they are in the wedding party, can offer to give a shower. And member of the bridal party can. And member of the bride's family* or MOG or aunt, grandmother or Groom's sister can. One girlfriend, one sister, and MOG can work together, or any group that wants to. And there may be more than one, smaller showers that divide the bride's very closest family and friends. This can be all in one area,by one family. All in another area, other family. And brides friends, separately. Or all friends and family in the NY area at one, and all in Georgia another. . So thank the bm who is interested. Give her contact info if she wants to contact others and find co-hostesses. Or she can do it herself. But make sure she understands, only people who are co-hostesses, and help plan, pay. If she does it alone, she pays for everything, herself. Whether family, friend, BM or MOH, the volunteer cannot plan and make the budget, then ask anyone else to pay. She needs to include those who want to pay, from the very beginning, deciding on size, budget, and type of party. Also, traditionally, showers are a second gift, in addition to a wedding gift. Only those invited to the wedding, who are very close to the bride, should be invited, plus groom's family women who may welcome her to the family even if not previous friends. But dates of groomsmen, cousins ir family friends who rarely see the bride, relatives of bridesmaids, none of these are invited unless they also are very good friend of brides. *It used to be traditional for MOB never to throw a shower, when brides lived at home. But now they often work with another person or group. . . . There is sometimes a separate shower by a small group of the bride's friends who are not invited to the wedding, like a sports group, choir, co-workers. .These people are kept separate from any shower by bridal party or family, held only for those attending the wedding.

View Quoted Comment I’m getting married July 20th and my bridal shower is May 11th. My bachelorette party is the last weekend of June. I would talk to her about it if I were you

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This exactly. You really shouldn't be involved at all. Your interested BM should reach out to the bridesmaids and tell them she wants to throw it and ask if they'd like to help. If not, cool. IF they do, then cool.

Could you friend (bridesmaid) text your sister and just be like "Hey I haven't heard about the shower, but do you want to do XYZ"?

View Quoted Comment Date twins!

My sorority sisters got together and threw me one and all I did was show up. They put together a group chat and they were all in different parts of NJ/CT. They asked me what I wanted and I said to honestly just grab some food and sit at someone's house and veg out, we havent seen each other in 25years (some of us) it was the best time ever...It doesnt matter who throws it, you shouldnt be involved. Connect them and step out. I had a blast at mine

I would feel so guilty if I didnt pay for it.

No, you should not be your own host. But the bridal shower can be thrown by anyone who is interested. If you have a BM interested, encourage her to reach out to your MOH and get things started. MOH can decide whether or not to be involved at that point.