bridal shower invites

Hi...I'm not really sure how you would word that. Traditionally when there is a bridal (or baby) shower the guests don't pay for their own meal in addition to bringing a present. The shower is usually hosted and paid for by your bridal party and a lot of the times the mothers of the bride and groom will chip in.

I personally would not invite guests to a party and then expect them to pay for their lunch AND bring me a bridal shower gift. Along the same lines if I received an invite to an event like your having I would never even think that it was my responsibility to pay for my food and I might even be a little turned off if that was the case.

I think if your planning to host the even in this fashion you should state that it is not really a "hosted party" but more of a formal get together... Meals will not be provided, not really sure how else you would say that... lol

Good Lucl

I agree with the other posters. A Bridal Shower is usually hosted by your Bridal Party. I would suggest you should not call it a Bridal Shower and think of calling it something else. This is a tricky one.......

I absolutely would not recommend asking guests to pay for a meal at a wedding shower. I was asked to do so once and everyone at the shower was pissed, expecially since we were not told ahead of time and the cost of the meal was over $20. Your shower should be held at someone's house as a pot-luck if the bridal party is concerned about the cost.

A bridesmaid is throwing the shower and came up with this idea. This is not uncommon now days. I have heard of at least 3-4 so far since I started planning my wedding.

I am not saying that this is not uncommon... I just said I personally would not do this for my shower regardless of who was throwing it. When you invite guests to a party typically snacks/food and beverages are provided... you dont go to someone's house for a party and bring your own food unless it is a "pot luck" type event... I think the same would follow when holding the event in an outside vendor.

Basically what I was saying is that I would never just expect people to know they were going to have to pay for their own meals when I INVITE them somewhere... its a tricky situation.

Hmmm, maybe the bridesmaids can pay for champagne/soft drinks and appetizers and then if the guests want a full meal, they can pay for it themselves. If this can be done, then you can put "Light refreshments will be served" at the bottom of your invite so everyone knows what to expect.

Personally, if you were my friend, I'd come to celebrate with you because I love you and want to congratulate you! I wouldn't mind paying as long as I was informed.

If this is how you want your shower, do it.

I agree with the last comment, your bridesmaid may pay for some of the appetizers and/or drinks, but you should give the guests notice so that they can be prepared when they arrive to pay for their own meals....on the invitation state: Each guest will be responsible for their own meals. Trust me, if they are really there for you, then, they'll understand and won't be upset about it!

Maybe you could simply write "food will not be provided" or something like that at the bottom of the invite. That way they know that they won't have a free meal. Its not like they have to eat if they come, its their choice. If they don't understand then when they RSVP and ask you/MOH can explain it further.

I think that just because other people are doing it doesn't make it right. If it's an issue with finances, then maybe hold it at someone's house or backyard (which I think is a way preferable setting for a shower, especially in the summer!)...and have the bridal party make finger foods or snacks for the guests. I understand that if it's the MOH's idea, you don't want to upset her, but maybe you can make suggestions. People will definitely not be expecting to pay for their own meal, and I'm not even sure how you could say this in a tactful way on the invite. If the bm's can't afford to buy a lunch for everyone, that's totally fine...just keep it to something that IS affordable...like an afternoon tea, breakfast, snacks,...etc.

I think paying for your own drinks is one thing but when you are inviting people to a party and are expecting them to bring gifts is a whole different thing. You want your wedding to be a memorable experience where everyone will remember what a great time you had not how much they spent as a result of it.

I kind of agree with Lauren10. But if you do decide to go with it you should defenitly put it on the invitation as understandable as possible (dont sugar coat it), because it they go there expecting to get a meal and they don't they will probably be either pissed, upset, or even embaressed (if they didn't bring money). Maybe just put that they will be responsible for their on meal an put a price range so they know what too expect. I just personally wouldn't do it because it seems rude and tacky but if you say that your people are used too the situation then its totally up too you.

Whoa! I would NOT expect people to know they they are paying for their own meals if I were you. I have never in my life heard of such a thing at a bridal shower and I would never dream of bringing cash to pay for my meal at something I was invited to like that. If you say this is common among your group of friends and this is the way you want to do it then by all means go for it. I do notice that you are not asking us if we think this is ok to ask them to pay for their meals, you are only asking us if you should tell them before hand. So I'll hold the first part of that opinion to myself and only say that yes you should mention it on the "invite" wish I could help with the wording but I am at a loss for words on this! Good Luck

I wanted to say I really appreciate the few ladies that actually tried to answer the question being asked. Like laura said I wasn't seeking an ok.

However to Mylah that was a very good idea with the light refreshments (fruit and drinks)and allowing the guest to pay for their meals if they decide to eat anything heavier. We are going about it that route instead.

You're right...

That will work if you say light refreshments will be served...then also that the cafe offers an a la carte menu or has a full menu or something? so that if they want to save their appetite to buy something they can...but it might still be confusing.