Bridal shower guests paying to attend

I wouldn’t attend a shower where I had to pay my own way. If these girls are “hosting”, they should be paying.

I would consider attending but politely decline on the group gift.

I would politely decline a shower where I was asked to pay to attend.

I wouldn't attend either. I would give my gift to the bride with apologies for being unable to attend. I probably wouldn't throw them under the bus, but I would want to!

She told every guest they had to pay their way for a bridal shower? They should be hosting everyone's meal, now if you want to go in on a group gift that's another thing. I'd decline to participate and i'm sure some other's are probably wondering this as well.

You don't invite people to a party and then charge them for anything. The party host should HOST the party.

That would be the quickest no from me, ever.

Usually whoever hosts pays shower and full. Only the bachelorette and bachelor parties are paid by attendees.

Yeah they can’t decide this is what you’re giving her

Absolutely not! The hosts shouldn’t be telling you that you’re going in on a gift nor should you pay to attend. I would decline and look up the friend’s registry and send a gift from there.

Such poor etiquette you dont pay to attend a shower

That does sound crazy to me. Usually the bridesmaids pay for the bachelorette, and the bridal shower if they can. NOT the guests. I'd be horrified!

I had to pay $65 to attend a shower once. The meal was maybe worth $40. I didn't bring a gift.

The problem with this is it doesn't sound like the bride's fault. I'd hesitate to decline based on someone else's bad etiquette. But this definitely isn't normal and is super rude.

Thanks for confirming that I'm not crazy girls!! 😅 I don't think the bride directed them to do this but I'm sure she knows what's going on and doesn't have an issue with it haha.

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Dare I ask what the gift is that you are being told you are paying for?

View Quoted Comment A tiffany bracelet 😅

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I'm sure you have a "very important appointment" that day and you are so devastated to miss out, right?

If a few people are throwing a shower for the bride, they should invite only as many people as they can afford to pay for. A batch of brownies and a pot of coffee in someone's living room, with 12 people, is fine for a shower, if that is all the hostesses can afford. Sometimes brides families or friends end up with a few small showers, separate, with each hostess paying for their own. If they want a bunch of people at a high tea in a tearoom, those hostesses pay everything but parking cost. And it is super rude to ever expect guests to pay for the food or space, and even worse to choose a gift, and tell people to chip in on the price. These bridesmaids or whoever have no manners. If you would have given the bride a gift, send one to her. And politely decline the shower. And feel free, when declining, to politely say, I never accept shower invitations from people who do not have the good manners to host a party , and expect guests to do that, nor do I accept others choosing a gift, and expecting me to share that bill. Be polite, which is more than they deserve.

Oh that is a shame that they are looking for asking for people to pay their own way for a shower. People should plan based on what they can afford.

As for a group gift you have a choice on that and if they were thinking about doing something like that they should have mentioned it a long time ago.