Bridal Shower: Groom or No Groom?

I didn't even ask him to come because it was a bridal shower. He didn't show up at the end either nor would I have wanted him too. His mom and his sister and many of the guest helped put the gifts in his mom's car so she could take it to the new house.

Other than for a couples shower I've never seen the groom show up even at the end. I would let this go.

My husband came to my bridal shower near to end. He didn’t bring flowers but he helped open the gifts and we also played a game with him. The gifts are for the bride and groom so I don’t understand why at many showers only the bride gets to open them. So I asked him if he wanted to come and he was happy to do so and really enjoyed coming. It’s not a big deal of your FH doesn’t come because there are plenty of showers where the groom doesn’t come. But since it’s important to you I don’t really understand why he won’t come. It’s not asking a lot to show up at a party for a little while.

View Quoted Comment Traditionally, gifts were not for the bride and groom, they were and for many still are, for brides closest friends and family to give to bride. So it rather depends on each particular shower. And it's guests. When most guests are joint friends giving household items both use, it is one thing. When bride's intimate F and F only, and gifts aimed at only things she is the primary one to care about, guests may feel the shower is no more about groom than her birthday, and the groom may feel that way. Some people like the single sex nature if a women's only shower, and it is why they did nit choose to host or attend a couples shower. So except for a male person who may pick up the gifts but not attend, which may be friend, brother, Dad as well as groom, lots of showers no one wants the groom, or he does not want to be there. So, quite often not for the bride and groom. Quite often, girlfriends of groom are not invited to a single sex party bridal shower. Hubby has lots of women he is friends with. Not one was invited to 3 of my showers, and MOG had an additional one which did include his sisters and older women of his family, All there to welcome the bride, made it clear, groom not wanted by hostess. None of groom's women friends he grew up with there. No one considered the shower for bride and groom. And only a group not invited to our wedding, the kids camp where we were working when we met, considered all guests for B and G. And men and women, boys and girls at the party for B & G. So not all showers ate for the bride and groom. I think if hosts ask groom to attend an all female party, they should respect his declining without pushing him. Bride was asked about this party before it was planned. She accepted, for herself. Now they are springing it on groom, unfair to pressure him, he should have the option to politely decline with no fallout afterward. I think it is not correct to assume, all showers or shower gifts are for B & G. Many quite deliberately are not. Just as many bachelor parties, the guests and hosts would be downright opposed to bride coming, and most brides I know would never go even for a while. So unfair to generalize, showers or gifts for Bride and Groom. Often, not.

Daughter's FH and her dad were our "shower sherpas" the day of -- helping the BMs & me haul in the decorations and gifts that had been sent ahead of time, and they came back at the end to load all the gifts into dad's (bigger than mine) car. They left before the shower started and went and had a "guys lunch." They got back to the restaurant where the shower was earlier than they needed to be, and sat in the bar until I texted we were ready for them to stop by to load stuff up. We never knew they were already in the restaurant while the shower was still going on. They had no desire to stop in and daughter never considered it. I do think your MOH asking him to come by with flowers seems really staged -- like something someone saw on Pinterest. I'd try to let this go, and I definitely wouldn't get into a "fight" about it.

This seems really silly and staged. Why would he drive however long round trip just to spend money on flowers and do a wave. That seems like a huge waste of time/money. I've been to more showers than I've ever wanted to go to, and the only one where the husband showed up at the end was where the bride was more worried about how everything looked and how much each gift was worth so she could "brag about it later "(her words, not mine) on facebook later. Her husband was just a prop in the pictures essentially.

My fiancé attended my shower .. it was kind of an accident though lol.. he was helping my mother and friends set up.. then his family arrived and he ended up talking to them for a while, then the rest of his family who he rarely gets to see got there and next thing you know.. he never left lol

View Quoted Comment I understand that’s how it traditionally was. But in my opinion nowadays with women’s rights and women wanting to be treated equally to men, I personally think it’s rather outdated to act like all the gifts, which are mainly kitchen and household goods, are just for the woman. To me it seems like it could start an expectation that the woman will be doing all the cooking and cleaning. The way I see it is that the gifts are for the household and thus should be for the bride and groom. We registered together and saw the gifts as being for both of us. And at my shower his family attended and were happy to support us. That’s just my personal opinion and why I asked my husband if he wanted to come and why his family was invited. It’s obviously fine if other people feel differently and want to follow tradition, but it’s also fine if they don’t want to. Either way I don’t see why OP asking her FH to come is a big deal and I personally can see why she wants him there, although asking him to bring flowers is a bit much.

Hi i thought it was something that your fiance does when the shower is over bc you need man power to carry out all those beautiful gifts to your SUV. So your FH has to show up. My story may be different from u, but i told my MOH to suggested for my FH not to forget to get me flowers, nothing expensive. Bc he may not remember little things to do, so a little persuasive may be needed. My FH likes to entertain so he had the husbands hang at his house with good food and free beer lol and the men came to help me with the gifts....dont fight over it, but he does have to go the shower to help u out when its over, just have someone not you, to remind him dont forget the flowers...for me in many showers i have been the FH has shown up with back up lol...hope this help but fighting doesnt help and i know its hard not to...and he is my husband now

Grooms are usually not a part of the bridal shower...not even at the end of it.

I’ve never been to a bridal shower where the groom doesn’t show up and at least say hi to everyone. My FH dropped me off at my shower and helped my mom and sister with set up. He stayed to greet everyone then left to go hang out with some of the husbands and his dad for the day. He came back at the end to pack everything in our car and take me home. I told him I wanted him to come and greet everyone, because they traveled to see us and i think it would’ve been rude if he didn’t show up for at least a little while. Are his family members coming to the shower? I think it’s weird that he wouldn’t want to come and say hi. Maybe that’s just us though because my fiancé is very close with his family.

I had a shower two weeks ago that we had decided was going to be girls only, but we are having a couples shower a month before the wedding. My Mom was all about how the shower is just for the bride.