Bridal Shower: Groom or No Groom?

My shower is next Saturday and FH is attending the entire shower. It’s not a couples shower but we both feel that it’s important that we are both there. Also, he picked out most of our registry items because he’s the chef in our house and is really into that stuff so he will be most excited about the gifts.

It's not uncommon that the groom comes at the very end of the shower. The gifts will be used by him too, and the bride usually could use some help getting things home.

Maybe he thinks his presence is required earlier or for longer than than it really is.

Oh I'm sorry to he hear that. My brother and his wife had a couples shower. So obviously both were there. I have been to a shower where the FH shows up at the end and another where the FH didn't come at all. When I finally have a shower unfortunately due to my FH being in med school out of state he will not be able to make it. You could talk to him more about it and tell him he really could just come right at the end to help with the gifts.

I've never been to a shower where the groom attended and was the only man there. I have seen the groom arrive at the end to load the gifts. He's not being selfish and if your family judges him for not being there, your family would be petty to do so.

View Quoted Comment We did and we got into a fight. He doesn’t see the point and doesn’t care that I’d like him to visit.

That just sounds cheesy and planned. No thanks. If it wasnt his idea then no wonder he doesnt want to do it.

I think you should respect his wishes. You are already getting a party thrown for you by friends. Can't you be satisfied with that? It is one thing to invite him, that is okay. But to argue it or push it is not okay. Groom is an adult, and has decided this is something he wants to avoid doing. Why should your wish overrule his? Your party will go on with or without him. Try to enjoy what you have, not all brides friends or family throw showers. So feel lucky, and go without him joining you.

I’ve been to many showers where he FH arrives at the end. Normally thanks everyone and helps with the gifts. But my FH and I had a couples shower a few weeks ago.

I had my bridal shower today and I mentioned to my fiance that the groom usually comes towards the end and brings flowers. He did it without a complaint. He wasn't thrilled that he had to drive 40 minutes away but he did it because he knew I wanted him to.

View Quoted Comment Oh that's terrible! I'm also very sorry to hear he doesn't want to be involved.

My fiancé is also coming at the end, I don’t expect him to bring flowers and it’s not a surprise. I wanted him to help open presents and load things up at the end. Plus is didn’t want to drive myself. So he’s going to drive me, drop me off then come back at the end. I tnink each couple is different and if he doesn’t want to go you have to respect his wishes. But if it’s very very important than have a real talk with him about it. But definitely don’t force him to surprise you with flowers.

My FH came to my shower somewhere in the middle. He’s in a gigging band and literally drove home from an overnight in Michigan (were in IL) hit up the shower for about 45 mins, then left to teach some lessons at his studio. He wasn’t sure he was gonna make it all, which was fine. I really don’t think it’s a big deal if the groom isn’t there.

I’ve been to a few different showers. Usually the FH drops the bride off when the shower is a surprise. The one I went to where it was not a surprise, the FH wasn’t there and I’m pretty sure the bride’s sister drove her. At one, the husband stayed to open gifts which I thought was strange and uncomfortable because he was the only man there and we were trying to make it all about the bride. You certainly can’t help to feel the way you feel but I don’t think you should take it to heart if he does not want to go. My fiancé is not coming to mine - his exact response is: it’s a bridal shower not a groom shower. He’ll stay home and watch the dog. Lol and your hubby can save money not spending it on flowers. I’ve been my fiancé for 8 years and I think he’s bought me flowers once .. I’ve always told him they are a waste of money and although nice, to save the money (he ends up getting me fancy tea or chocolate covered fruit in place of flowers for Valentine’s Day). Don’t worry if he does not want to go - you are going to have a fun day with your ladies!

I don’t think it’s a big deal if he doesn’t come. I always find the groom that arrived with flowers is staged. It usually mKes the groom uncomfortable.

He didnt want to come and I didnt want him to! It was an all girls affair, wine themed and we had a girls day. It was a blast.
Dont be offended.

View Quoted Comment This is so not worth fighting about.

Are there other men going? Or is just mainly women? Mine doesn't really want to go to mine, which I understand, he doesn't know many of the people invited. If you do want him to just drop by and say hi maybe he can come by really quickly at the beginning and drop you off or something, just to say hi but make sure that he has plans so that he doesn't have to stay. I'm sure he'll understand if you want him there though 😄

Can you find out why he is so adamant about not being there? Maybe he’s uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn’t like being told to do romantic things. My fiancé is like that; anytime I brought up a cute way to propose we’d get in to a fight cause he thought I was telling him how.
I didn’t know it was a “tradition” for grooms to bring flowers at the end of the shower. If it was his idea to that’a sweet; but forced displays lack real ness and depth.
I’m sure it smarts that he doesn’t want to do it, but it’s not worth fighting over. You’re getting married; will it even mean anything if he didn’t bring you flowers at your shower?

I asked FH to come at the end to help load and clean things. My shower is next weekend and I just had surgery yesterday so I’m pretty useless for helping to clean up after or loading stuff in the car so he really doesn’t have much of a choice. If I didn’t need the help I’m not entirely sure he would come.

This is literally the first time I have ever heard of the Groom coming at the end to give flowers. I've seen and been to couples showers but I have NEVER been to a bridal shower where the groom shows up.