Bridal Shower etiquette

Maybe Mom and Grandma only, but not extended family. Mine and FH's families are out of state for us and I sent invites to my own sisters and Mom but that was it - his mom has passed away and i didn't send invites to his sisters since some of them are barely going to be able to afford even coming to the wedding, so I didn't want them to think I was fishing for a gift.

Man, not sure. His family was all far away and I knew they wouldn't be able to come due to financial restraints so I didn't include them. I'm not sure if that was rude of me to exclude them.

I don't think its necessary to invite everyone. My Bridal Shower is going to be held in OH (where I'm originally from) even though I live in FL. Due to this, none of FH's is invited except for his mom because she also lives in OH but about 2 hours away. The rest of his family lives in Canada. I think it would be nice to invite his mother and maybe grandma.

Is it possible to have one in TX and one in Chicago? Sometime when you would be traveling to see his family anyways, like over Christmas/Thanksgiving? Then they won't feel bad for not being invited and not pressured to travel.

A courtesy invite is always sent to my grandmother, but never to my aunt and first cousins.

Depends on how close you are to his family. Even if they're out of town, if you're close you should probably send an invite. I am very close to my FH cousins and aunts so I will be sending them an invite to mine.

I think a gesture like inviting his Mom and Grandma could go a long way. As far as inviting other members of his family, it really just depends on how close you are to them. The shower is intended for the bride's closest friends and family.

Send the invites!

I would definitely invite them, but then also talk with them and let them know that if they can't make it due to travel that it's totally fine! Also I would only invite his immediate family members (sisters, mom, maybe grandma).

My aunt will be extending invitations to my FMIL and FSIL, and I asked FMIL if she'd like me to include others since FH felt like it would be an imposition on his aunt and grandma. FMIL wanted the courtesy invitation extended since I've spent a lot of time with them.

I would just call them first and see? We did that with some we weren't sure of and it was fine. Also your FMIL will probably be able to let you know which ones to invite or not.

I would send because my family would view it as rude, even if they were never going to come. People will send a gift if they want and if they don't oh well. I don't think it looks gift grabby, more polite. But that's how I grew up so not sure how your FHs family would view it.

To me, I would invite anyone you wish could be there. Anyone you would invite if you lived in the same town. Even if you know they can't come it's a nice gesture. I invited my cousin-in-law even though I knew she wouldn't make it from several states over, but I would have loved it if she could have so I sent the invite (well, put her on the list I gave my MOH). It would make me feel nice if someone thought of me even from far away. If they want to send a gift, that's great. But I don't think most people will assume you are just looking for extra presents.

I think two questions would stand out: Is his family the type who would consider coming if invited? If they did come, would you be happy? My fiancee asked me a similar question regarding a bridal shower and whether my mother and sister would actually attend, and seemed a little caught off guard when I replied in the affirmative. She's certainly going to invite them now, but wasn't sure if they would travel cross country to New York for the shower. If they are the type of people who would come, invite them. I don't think immediate family would see it as a gift grab at all.

FH family primarily lives in IL, he only has a few cousins here in MN.

I included on the invite list one cousin that lives near us because her husband is FH's BM. Also, FH's aunts (2 out of 12) that are doing readings at the ceremony, both grandmas, FMIL, FSIL (also a BM), and one cousin that lives in IL because she is one of my BM's. His aunts and grandmas will not likely come to the shower, but FMIL, FSIL and the cousin that is a BM all said they will come.

I say invite!

Those that were invited to the wedding shower were all my aunts (one lives in TX) and those friends/guests/FH's family members that lived within 0-6 hours of where the shower was going to take place. We had people attend the shower who lived 4 hours away. The reason that some ladies who lived 6 hours away were invited was to give them something (besides the wedding) to attend because the wedding, will be twice as far away. The shower was in CT, but I now live in NC (for the past two years).

Some invites were sent as courtesy invites - had they RSVP'd yes to the shower and actually came, we would have been completely surprised.

I sent an invite to the entire guest list. I didnt want anyone feeling left out if they didnt get invited to my shower. I know at least 70% of them wont be able to make it but you'll be surprised! I invited FH's step mom who lives in UT (I live in CA) and she is coming with her daughters! I was counting them out for sure.

In my case my mom n sis threw my shower in florida. fh family is in the carolinas, they extended an invite to his mother and sister- but we knew they wouldnt come.

I say invite. My bridal shower is in Chicago, I invited my extended family in California and Canada including my FH's mother and aunt I have become close with from Ohio. The only out of state (and country) person that is coming is my future mother in law. I invited these people not with in the intention of receiving a gift but because I wanted them to feel loved and included. If they are important to you go ahead and invite. They will say no and wish you well. Most people don't gifts if they aren't attending.