Bridal shower etiquette

No...because its tacky. The point of a shower is gifts. If she doesn't want them then either don't have a shower or ask for something non-traditional like recipes in lieu of gifts. Your gut feeling was right...don't do this.

Maybe do fun games that involve the money so it's more shower and less....hmmm...untouching? Like for every answer the bridesmaids gets wrong she has to give the bride a $1. Things like that. Maybe then it would be more interactive. Tell guest instead of guest bring some cash and plan to get smashed! (If alcohol is involved!)

OP, don't host a "money" shower. It's rude, and fun ideas to make it not rude are just plain weird (see Brittany's comment). Just put "no gifts" on the invitation. The bride will be on her own to raise money for her wedding and honeymoon.

ETA: clarity

Just leave off the registry info. Don't mention cash. Tell the bride your not comfortable fundraising for her. Guests will bring random gifts or cards with money.

I would not a host a "money" shower. If possible see if it can be changed to be a luncheon, or some other event where giving gifts is not expected. People will not take kindly to a money shower because it defeats the point of a bridal shower and it's very very tacky.

My own MIL received an invite to a bridal shower where the invite said "all gifts must fit in an envelope" AKA cash. She was deeply offended.

I apologize I have no suggestions because it's just rude and I'm sorry your friend has put you in this situation. I would just explain to her you would feel better telling people it is a "no gift" event, if they bring something great, if not she asked for it.

@MrsPoutine I would have been so insulted if I got that invite. I'm a money giver for weddings but I enjoy giving the bride a gift for the shower.

.. People blow my mind sometimes. Or a lot of the time.

@Caitlin even worse, this person invited all of MIL's family to the shower, and none of them got invites to the actual wedding. She was doubly pissed lol.

@MrsPoutine what?! I just don't understand where people's mindsets are! How do you think that's okay lol

Like we all know we secretly want cash but I also know that I genuinely enjoy shopping for people I love.

If that's what she wants its what she wants. I think people are a lot more understanding about financial struggle and couples desire to prefer money over gifts.

I think just being honest and wording it correctly can avoid people getting "offended." Just like with the registry cards you can include a little card like what I have attached (quick google search found a bunch).

If your still uncomfortable be honest with the bride. I know personally as a couple we prefer cash since we are paying for the wedding and trying to save up for a house. I've registered for places for people I know feel cash is "tacky" and let people that I know don't have a problem with know I want cash.

Side note: I hate when people hate on others for this. I guess I don't see why cash is tacky I mean no mater what they are spending more money whether a gift or cash on the bride on top of a wedding gift... It seems then the whole thing is "tacky" and "greedy" if you think about it. Also we are in the predicament that we are paying for 95% of the wedding/honeymoon ourselves and don't have the luxury to not have a tight fixed budget, so I guess that's why getting cash appeals to me.

... Also it's just rude to be so mean I thought these forums were for support and help not to get ideas bashed.

If she wants a shower, she needs to at least make a small registry. Otherwise she doesn't need a shower. The whole point is to "shower" the bride with presents.

Hmm...I think if I didn't register, and my family threw me a shower, I would end up with all kinds of weird kitchen stuff and other home goods. I don't think people would bring cash to a shower -- showers are for boxed gifts and maybe gift cards.

She should absolutely not ask for cash, that's rude. Don't have a shower if you don't want boxed gifts.

I was in a similar position once and refused to do it. Yes it's her wedding, but ultimately if you're hosting it, you're the one who is going to look rude. The wedding I was in, the bride wanted us to include in the invitation for the bachelorette party the types of gifts she preferred. We politely said no and included nothing about gifts. I would just not include anything about gifts on the invite, though that is a little odd for a shower.

Victoria, a cutesy poem does not make begging for cash okay. I personally think those inserts are vomit inducing and actually worse than saying nothing at all.

I disagree that people are more understanding than we think. This may sound harsh, but the bride and groom should be comfortable living below their means and defering a honeymoon until they can afford it. Or, unless someone graciously offers to help cover the expense. At the end of the day, the wedding is for a marriage/union. The HM is a perk when it can be afforded. Asking others to pay for it for you thru a shower is in poor taste.

One of two things needs to happen. 1) The bride makes a small gift registry for the shower OR 2) The shower is turned into a brunch/luncheon that celebrates the bride without gifts.

No other options exist that aren't tacky or rude.

Showers are for gifts, that is their one and only purpose. If she doesn't want gifts, then she doesn't need a shower. Showers are not mandatory and neither are honeymoons. Writing a poem about it or turning it into a game show doesn't make it a good idea.

Victoria D, there's a difference between having a shower where people bring gifts and just begging your friends and family for money. If someone gives you a gift at a shower it's something you can use. It's rude to ask people to pay for your wedding and honeymoon. Plan the wedding you can afford and wait for a honeymoon if you have to.

Just to pile on here, you should not host a cash shower. Even typing it makes me cringe. For the sake of argument, you may be able to get creative and pull together a travel theme. She could register for some luggage and travel accessories (outlet converter, fancy neck pillows, hiking things if they're into that). It's a little out there but could be fun and guests could group gift the bigger items.

Really Victoria? Are you seriously coming on here and suggesting that awful, cash-grabby poem is a good idea? Clearly you haven't read these forums enough.

I like Ali's idea of registering for travel items. I also agrees with the others that you shouldn't host a "money" shower. Just don't provide a registry and she will either get random gifts or no gifts.