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Madelayna
VIP September 2017

Bridal Party Plus ones...? Thoughts please!

Madelayna, on April 4, 2017 at 10:29 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 29

I've read past forums about BP plus ones but haven't found a situation quite like mine. I've allowed my MOH a plus one. And my only BM is married and her husband will be in the BP as well. My FH will have two non-married men in the BP and I'm wondering if they should be given plus ones as well. I know this sounds like common sense to! But give me a chance...my MOH will be my only friend attending the wedding. ONLY friend. My only BM is my FSIL. As for my FH, he will be inviting 20 friends to the wedding. Due to budget we cannot let them have plus ones (none of them are married so far). The two men in the BP are extremely close with a group of 10 of the friends that will be invited so they won't be lonely at all. I'm letting my MOH have a plus one because she knows only my Mother well and my Brother (her ex boyfriend) and I thought she should have someone to be there with. Just wondering if the two GM should be given a plus one IF they are not in relationships when the time comes.

29 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsN, on April 5, 2017 at 8:16 PM
  • MrsB
    VIP June 2017
    MrsB ·
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    If they have a significant other (doesn't matter if they're married or not), they get invited together. They're a social unit, period. I'm super sensitive about this because I got invited to my brother's wedding...without FH. He was deployed at the time and couldn't come, but we'd been together for nearly 4 years!

    Agree with PP that plus ones are not mandatory for truly single guests. I have 2 BMs who are truly single and who will know lots of other people; we didn't invite them with plus ones. We did, however, invite single guests who are traveling long distances and wouldn't know other people with plus ones. For example, I went to grad school on the other side of the country, and I have one friend who I wanted to invite who still lives there but wouldn't know anyone else at our wedding. So she got a plus one.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    Whatever the dynamic is, I believe that every individual who is attending you in an honor position should be given the option of a plus one -- whether they use it or not. They are investing their time and money to become an immutable and memorialized part of one of the most special days of your life. They deserve a plus one.

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  • K squared
    Super October 2017
    K squared ·
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    As other posters have said, and I'm reiterating because it's THAT important: Anyone in a relationship is NOT a plus one. A plus one is an, and guest, that you give to single guests. Personally, I think everyone in the bridal party who is single should be given a plus one. Chances are they've spent money on a dress they'll never wear again, have thrown together and put money towards a shower and bachelorette, and just given extra time. It's sort of shitty to not give them the option to bring someone to dance with at the reception.

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  • K
    Super July 2017
    Karen ·
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    I think it's not mandatory for them to bring a random date if they are not serious- especially when you've got others they already know- but if any of the bm in the bp have girlfriends- I'd give them the plus one-

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Yes to those two GM's having plus ones (if they are truly single).

    Now about those 20 friends of FH: none of them have gfs or bfs?? They are all truly single?

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  • Rebecca
    Super September 2017
    Rebecca ·
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    If you give one person a plus one, you should give everyone a plus one that is not in a relationship.

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  • MrsMitch
    Master August 2017
    MrsMitch ·
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    I'd give the wedding party all plus ones. They may or may not use them but should at least have the option to bring a date.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    None of the details make any difference. Every BP member gets a partner, whether it's a SO or a date. That's a no brainer. They may not invite someone if they know a lot of people, but it is a courtesy that should be extended.

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  • MNBride
    Master June 2017
    MNBride ·
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    Based on everything you have said it seems like you don't really want to give them plus ones for some reason. Why not? I think that if the MOH got a plus one so should the groomsman regardless of how many people they know or how many extra friends FH is inviting. Also your FH has 20 truly single male friends? That just doesn't seem probable.

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  • Mrs.HeThinksI'mBossy
    Expert May 2018
    Mrs.HeThinksI'mBossy ·
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    I went back and forth on this too and then decided that BP would get plus 1s since they're shelling out time, energy, and money. Tbh, I didn't want to, but felt it was right. I hope some of them don't use it. Lol. I also don't know If the GM will care as much, but you should probably still do it. I only think plus ones should be given for married, engaged, and long-term/living together couples. Not everyone agrees with that, but that's how we're doing it. There's the exception though for singles who won't know anyone.

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  • B&T2Be
    Expert September 2017
    B&T2Be ·
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    If you guys are all sitting together there is no point to a plus one. I do not like the idea of meeting someone on my wedding day.

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  • Private_User832
    Master August 2017
    Private_User832 ·
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    It sounds like your moh is single and you're giving her a plus one so to be fair you should give the gm a plus one too.

    As for the guests who aren't in the wedding party, single guests don't need a plus one but anyone in a relationship should get a plus one

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  • Amanda
    Master January 2017
    Amanda ·
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    We gave our single BP members plus ones. They didn't end up bringing a date along despite having the option to, so it's possible the groomsmen may not bring anyone. Sometimes it is a lot of pressure to try and find a date, and if you know people who will be there anyway it's easier to go stag but having the option to do so is nice. I think it's courteous to give them a plus one even if they are single; it's more likely that they will dance lol. But are all 20 of FH's friends single?? None are dating anyone??

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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    If you can't afford to invite your friends' significant others, you cannot afford to invite your friends.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2017
    Kelsey ·
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    I'm pretty stingy about plus ones - none of my single guests got one because of guest list limit and my family already being too large (the only friends I got to invite were my two bridesmaids).

    However, even I believe all members of the wedding party should be given a plus one if they're single (and obviously the SO's of the WP are to be invited as well). They're spending a good chunk of money to be in your wedding and traveling in many cases, so I think it's only fair.

    I prioritize the wedding party over any of my needs/wants because they're already committing a lot.

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  • San
    VIP September 2017
    San ·
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    I think WP members should always be given the option of a plus one. They do a lot to be there for you on your wedding day & stand up to support you. I think the option of taking a date is part of the thanking process. We are not offering plus ones for our single guests though.

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  • Must Love Cats
    Master October 2017
    Must Love Cats ·
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    You need to give the 2 single groomsmen a plus one if you are giving your single MOH one. It is only fair. It seems you are trying to use "she's my only friend" not to give your FH's friends each one. Sorry but you can't pick and choose. Truly single people do not need to be given a plus one, regardless of being in the bridal party or not. However if you give your single MOH one, you must be fair across the board and give the 2 single groomsmen one. Also you MUST invite the partners of any main invited guests. They are not plus ones, they are a social unit. Plus ones are given to guests of single invited guests. But partners are part of a social unit, not a guest of an invited guest. They must be invited together. If you cannot accommodate additional costs for significant others for invited guests and plus ones for the groomsmen, you should postpone the wedding.

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    I think you should give a plus one to all single members of the wedding party. You also can't pick and choose - giving one to the MOH but not to the groomsmen is shitty.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    Personally I know this is a UO but I don't think single guests (bridal party or otherwise) need a plus one. Obviously anyone in a relationship gets invited with their SO. I do agree though if you are giving your single MOH a plus one you should extend that to everyone in the bridal party.

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  • LikeBerry
    Expert April 2018
    LikeBerry ·
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    I think it's a good idea to give all single people a plus one if you can. By the time the wedding rolls around, they could be in serious relationships. But I can tell you that last time I was a BM, I was not in a relationship, and I declined my plus one because I knew I would be too busy to be a fun date. So I wouldn't worry that someone will always bring a plus one just because it's offered.

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