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Expert September 2021

Bridal Party Expectations

on March 1, 2021 at 10:26 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 37
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I’ve seen a ton of discussions kind of hitting on this topic and am dying to know other brides’ opinions on this!
If you are having a bridal party, what are you asking of them? Encouragement and support? Planning? Financial expectations? Nothing?

I just want to hear some perspectives!

37 Comments

Latest activity by Jasmine, on March 3, 2021 at 4:20 PM
  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava Online ·
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    We are expecting nothing from our wedding parties (neither bridesmaids nor groomsmen), other than to show up on time the day of the wedding, ready to party!
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    Wear a dress in a specific color. Show up on the day of to be supportive and have fun. No expectations at all beyond that.

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I expected my bridesmaids to do two things:

    1. Provide emotional support to me on the day of my wedding.

    2. Show up on time in the dresses that we agreed upon.

    I kept the dresses in the $125-$150 range, so I suppose this was their "financial" commitment. I paid for their hair and makeup, and I allowed them to choose any look or style they wanted. My MOH also planned and threw me a bridal shower, which was super nice but definitely not something I expected.

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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    You’re going to hear a lot of “their only job is to show up and wear the dress.” This is definitely the bare minimum and totally depends on your social circle. I’m a young(ish lol) professional and the expectation that I’ve found to be pretty standard are: get the dress the bride chooses (in my experience the bride has paid but they had one specific style they wanted), attend and help plan Bachelorette party. I’ve seen the moms/aunts handle the shower but that’s my experience. Umm get ready with the bride, HMU (paid for by bride if required), sometimes give toasts/speeches. Wide range.
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  • Alyssa
    Devoted October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    I expect them to keep letting me vent and discuss wedding things, but also to let me know when they need a break.


    I also expect them to show up on time and have the dress in the color I chose. Or close to the color. I mean I'm not picky I may have them in different colors. There's only two of them 😂
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  • Alyssa
    Devoted October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    Also want to add they have full right to smack me into common sense if I start to act even the slightest bridezillaish
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  • Expert September 2021
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    LOL understandable!
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  • Catherine
    Dedicated September 2021
    Catherine ·
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    Mostly just show up, wear a dress in a color that matches my theme, and maybe help me plan a shower/bachelorette if COVID allows. I only have three members of my bridal party...two are my sisters, and they are both very busy moms. The other is my cousin, and while she’s not a mom yet, she’s also an incredibly busy human AND her mom is extremely high risk for COVID, so if things don’t improve significantly by our wedding, she won’t even come at all, which is 100% ok because it’s a personal choice for what is safest for your family. I’m paying for their hair + makeup + probably manicures/pedicures the day before but I’m not going to dictate styles or anything, they can have whatever they’d like for hair/makeup/nails.


    So ultimately I don’t really have expectations for them lol. They all were either physically present or on FaceTime for dress shopping, which I appreciated. But there’s not much else planning-wise for them to help with, it’s all pretty much done for now lol. Not to mention we all live all over the place, so it’s hard for us to be in the same place at the same time. None of my bridesmaids are young single girls so I don’t really expect them to have much spare time to cater to my needs, nor would I ever expect them to even if they DID have the time or desire to do so lol. They’re just there to celebrate with me, that’s it!
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  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava Online ·
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    Hahaha! Love this 😂
    And love a self aware bride! I see so many brides on here who expect so much from their bridal party! Like I’m seriously surprised these people even have friends the way they treat them like unpaid hired hands
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  • S
    Devoted November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I'm expecting my bridesmaids to be supportive and purchase + wear the dresses that we selected (we're doing same designer/fabric/color but different styles). I will be paying for their manicures and pedicures, hair, and makeup and they can choose whatever styles they want. The dresses are long so I also told them to wear whatever shoes they want. My aunts are hosting a bridal shower and my MOH is putting together a bachelorette party. Neither of these were my 'expectations,' but something they offered to do on their own. As you probably remember, there was a recent post on here about a bride who held an initial meet and greet with her bridesmaids in order to delegate wedding planning tasks to them and I was dumbfounded. It's since gone semi-viral on reddit lol.

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  • Expert September 2021
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    Wow, no! I don’t know how I missed that discussion!
    ‘Expectation’ is for lack of a better word. That’s all totally understandable!
    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    Base expectations: show up on time, look presentable, have fun. I hate asking for help, I feel like a burden and an inconvenience so I try to avoid it.
    However, I’d love to use the opportunity to hang out and spend more time together! Like spend a long weekend at the lakehouse and just hang out like a normal weekend getaway, no party or extras you need to pay for. If some of the more crafty people want to help with DIY with some wine and a movie on in the background, that would be cool, but I’m also good on my own. I also have this fantasy of picking flowers for bouquets at a local farm the day before with my sisters as a nice activity.
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  • S
    Devoted November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I think it got deleted over the weekend when she started calling people names but it's now on the wedding-shaming subreddit. She wanted her bridesmaids to submit cake design ideas and schedule her cake tastings and other vendor appointments! It was pretty out there, haha

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  • M
    Dedicated September 2023
    Meghan ·
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    Lol she held a meeting at a deli to “deligate” everyone’s responsibilities, it was pure poetry
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  • Expert September 2021
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    I had to do some extensive searching but I found it! I’m second hand embarrassed honestly
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  • S
    Devoted November 2021
    Sara ·
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    Pure poetry for sure Smiley xd

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I definitely wanted to feel like they were present. I understand everyone has obligations and your wedding isn’t their center of their life but you know I also didn’t wanna feel like I’m talking to myself. Definitely did want them to get their own attire.
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  • S
    Devoted November 2021
    Sara ·
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    I think most of us were too! If anything though, it reassured me that my expectations of my bridesmaids were normal and aligned with pretty much everyone else Smiley smile

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  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava Online ·
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    Oh my gosh, I never saw that thread, but I just found it on Reddit. Wowwwww.
    On a sidenote, did anyone read the story on there about the bride whose MIL insisted on wearing white to the wedding, so she secretly had her bridesmaids and her mother change their dresses to white as well?! 😂 genius
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  • Expert September 2021
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    I didn’t see that one but that is genius! I’m totally new to Reddit and just found myself in a wedding shaming rabbit hole after the deli delegations. I’m just floored!
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