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Chrysta
Rockstar November 2022

Breaking with traditions?

Chrysta, on January 21, 2021 at 2:13 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 38
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I’ve noticed a lot of people are choosing to break away from modern day “traditional” aspects of their weddings, and making them more tailored to the couple’s personalities. What things are you choosing to ditch? And are you replacing them with something more your style, or just cutting them completely? Have you gotten any backlash from your families, or do they think it’s a fun change?

38 Comments

Latest activity by PrissiePants, on January 27, 2021 at 3:17 PM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    We are getting rid of/changing quite a few traditions! Some of these, we modified instead of completely getting rid of them, while others we're skipping altogether. My fiance and I are walking down the aisle together, instead of my dad walking me down the aisle. We are doing a first look. We are not doing either of the tosses at the reception. I'm skipping the father-daughter dance. We are serving tiramisu for dessert instead of cake (though we're still getting a small cake to cut).
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I walked down the aisle by myself and my mother-in-law did think that was kind of weird just because she probably hasn’t seen it before. I decided to do that because I always kind of felt like it was my own journey anyway to my husband and so it made sense for me to just want to do it on my own.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    We skipped the garter and bouquet toss. Instead we did a trivia game where the guests had to answer questions to see how well they know us. The last ten remaining people got a prize. It was so much fun! We also had a bride's man and groomswoman which is becoming more common.

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  • Sweetness
    Devoted March 2023
    Sweetness ·
    • Flag
    The only traditions we may do are having a cake, and me being accompanied down the aisle. And even those 2 aren't fully guaranteed. 😂

    But I do really like the idea of us making our wedding cake together, especially as he calls me Sweetness and I was into baking when we first met. ☺️
    • Reply
  • Honey
    Savvy July 2022
    Honey ·
    • Flag
    We’re doing the first look and my parents aren’t so happy with that since they were expecting a Catholic Ceremony. We also decided on doing the cake cutting on the side, eso while people enjoy dancing we’ll be cutting the cake. I don’t want to do the garter toss or bouquet toss and use that time for dancing. But my sisters who are also my bridesmaids want me to do it they think it will be fun. So I am still debating on that.
    • Reply
  • Maggie
    Dedicated July 2022
    Maggie ·
    • Flag
    We're trying to keep our wedding day as simple and streamlined as possible, so there's a lot we'll be cutting out. No garter/bouquet toss, no speeches or parent dances, no bridal party parade into the reception. We will do a cake cutting, but I'm hoping to do it right when we enter the reception and not later in the night when I'll be busy dancing and chatting! I'd rather our reception be more like a big dinner/dance party than an event that screams "wedding" with all the bells and whistles.
    We'll do a first look too to get most photos out of the way, but I'll be brainstorming ways to make it more natural and less pressured to act surprised for the camera. A lot of them look too staged for me.
    The bridal party is still a big TBD, but if we end up having one I'll be asking my old roommate to be a bridesman!What kind of traditions are you tweaking/cutting, Chrysta?
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    We are skipping a lot of traditions. I will walk alone down the aisle. We are using more modern, contemporary music versus the traditional music. No garter or bouquet toss (ew). We are doing a cake cutting but we will have a small cutting cake and then cupcakes for everyone else. We are not doing the first dance at the ceremony, we are going to do that in private when we return to our hotel room. And we are writing our ceremony script. Because we are having a destination wedding, we do not know our officiant and he obviously doesn’t know us so we wanted to write the script ourselves so that it would reflect us and our relationship.
    • Reply
  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
    • Flag
    We ditched a few things: bridesmaids didn't stand on the altar, no garter toss, no head table, and no wedding party intro or entrance. I love my bridesmaids to death, but at the end of the day, the vows don't include them and I really wanted their role to be a bit more private and between me and them. They were in special pictures, got ready with me, wore dresses, etc. As for the garter toss...i think that one just has to go
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Expert May 2021
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    I am skipping the reception big entrance /intros, bouquet/garter toss, speeches, parent/bride-groom dancing/dancing, cake/cutting cake, no big exit..
    • Reply
  • Carolyn
    Savvy October 2021
    Carolyn ·
    • Flag
    My mother will be walking me halfway down the aisle and then I will walk the rest alone ❤️
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    We skipped a bunch. Nobody complained cuz heck, we’re 40’s/50’s. No bachelor/bachelorette parties, no wedding party, no parents walking me down (we walked together), no floral decor (didn’t fit our pirate theme), no DJ, no bouquet/garter toss, no dancing just a loud fun dinner party with an open bar. And a separate swanky 60’s local dinner reception three months later. We loved both events! Totally us.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    We changed some things, kept others, and really tailored the whole thing to us.

    If anyone didn't like it, they didn't have the nerves to tell us to our face!

    I mean, we had a swordfight, so maybe that's why...

    But we skipped bouquet/garter toss, used our own music picks, that kind of thing.

    We themed our wedding around our favorite things - the Phillies and theatre.

    • Reply
  • Marisa
    Master October 2021
    Marisa ·
    • Flag
    Hmmmm...well I think the only traditions we stuck with are s hanging rings and vows. We both walked ourselves, and had a few Buddhist traditions in the ceremony. For our vow renewal I’m not sure what all we’ll do fit the ceremony although we want to do a hand fasting. No formal dances, garter / bouquet toss...we may cut our cake.
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Devoted October 2021
    Tori ·
    • Flag

    We're cutting out bouquet and garter toss. I film weddings for a living and, to be honest, the tradition is going away. Especially garter toss. They mess with the flow of the evening and sometimes are really awkward. We're also not doing introductions for the full bridal party, just us. And speeches will be during the rehearsal dinner.

    I'm also walking down the aisle by myself. My relationship with my dad is rocky but also I don't like the idea of being "given away".

    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag

    We're doing a first look to calm our nerves, but also get a ton of photos out of the way so we can party with our guests sooner after the ceremony! We're also writing our own vows instead of just repeating lines after the officiant (which is also not traditional because we've asked our friend to marry us!).

    If you've seen my posts about it, we aren't having a flower girl or ring bearer because frankly, I don't see the point lol and my mom is still furious haha!! My mom is also the one that will walk me down the aisle. I've toyed around with the idea of walking myself, but I think she'll appreciate me asking her to give me away.

    We're also not doing the traditional garter toss. I don't want him all under my dress in front of our guests (awwwkwarrd), but he likes the comedy aspect of it. Instead, we're putting one around a small toy football and he'll throw it up into the crowd. Not sure if I'm going to do a bouquet toss yet...

    Apparently this has become a touchy subject on here, but we're also eating our first meal together alone while our guests are moving from cocktail hour to the reception. We want to be alone and enjoy 20min uninterrupted.

    • Reply
  • Shirley
    Expert November 2020
    Shirley ·
    • Flag
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    I didn't know that was a touchy subject! We ate alone because I knew if I didn't take private time to eat I would just get to chatting and greeting and never eat.
    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Neither did I! All the weddings we've been to, the bride and groom ate separately from the guests and it wasn't a problem lol. I just saw a forum on here recently about it and I was the unpopular opinion of it not being an issue. Oh well, no harm done!

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated January 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    I hate the garter toss it makes me cringe. This statement goes with my personality and surprised no one to have it missing
    • Reply
  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
    • Flag
    I went with a black wedding dress, and we saw each other until it was time to get ready, and my son gave me away. Breaking with traditions? 1

    We march to the beat of our own drum.
    • Reply
  • Misty
    Savvy March 2021
    Misty ·
    • Flag
    We aren’t doing a garter/bouquet toss. No bridal party entrance. Doing first look & pictures before. And we are going to wake up together that morning.
    • Reply

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