BP Question

Don't call them honorary bridesmaids. Just ask if they would mind helping you be the first face of the wedding party - help greet the guests, give them directions and programs, etc.

Just ask them if they can help. They don't need a title. I also wouldn't ask them to purchase a dress for this role. They are guests.

Why would your venue be dictating how many bridesmaids you have and why would they force you to have greeters?

I wouldn't call them honorary bridesmaids either. "Usher" might be the appropriate term but I don't know that I'd want to call them that, either, when you're "proposing" to them. I agree with Brandy -- leave the term out of it and ask if they would help out by greeting people, direct guests to the guestbook, pass out any programs you intend to use, and help guests find their way around.

I asked a couple of close friends to help me by greeting, doing readings etc. I did not dictate what they wore. They are not BMs, don't tell them what to wear.

Also, I probably wouldn't make them purchase a dress to be your ushers. They're not really part of the bridal party. If you want them to wear a special dress, you should be the one paying for it.

Just ask them to be greeters.

Honorary Bridesmaid is basically just "You weren't good enough to make my 5 max cut but I needed greeters so I put you here"

Seems like a weird thing for your venue to impose, but if that's the case I would just have five and let your others friends/etc. come as guests.

ETA: or ask them to be readers.

"Honorary bridesmaids" is silly and a little insulting, a wedding does not need a greeter, manning the guest book is not an honor (or a necessity or even a real job).

Why does your venue have so much say in this? Are these positions in the contract? I'd tell them thanks but no thanks.

Agreed, ask them to be ushers/greeters. It will not be in best taste to ask them to wear a particular color since they are not part of the wedding party no matter how you slice it. Order extra boutonnieres for them so they are identified as greeters.

Also, I would choose another venue if they dictated my wedding party.

The venue is an aquarium so they don't recommend having more than 5 due to the limited ceremony space in front of the tank. And we need greeters because guests enter through the lobby and must be directed to the saltwater gallery. The lobby doors lock after a certain time. I feel that they aren't just guests if I ask them to do an assigned task at my wedding, invite them to the rehearsal dinner, buy them gifts, and have them get ready with the BP then asking them to purchase a dress in my color isn't too much to ask. I'm just looking for a term to call them that embodies what I'm actually asking them to do at my wedding.

"Staff"

Well it kind of is because they aren't BM. It is an established custom for BM's to purchase their dress because they have the "honor" of being chosen to be in your bridal party. A present is freely given, not in exchange for buying a new outfit. This girls would be doing you a favor by helping you out so of course you would thank them by giving a gift. I'm sorry I can't relate to your thinking.

I'd just ask them to be greeters and not make a big deal of it. You're basically asking them to do you a favor, don't try to make it seem like more. If you propose to them they'll be disappointed when they read whatever term you choose instead of "bridesmaid". Asking them to buy a dress in your colors seems like too much to me.

I would call them either greeters or ushers. That's the job that they are doing. I agree that I wouldn't make them wear a certain color dress as they are not bm. Readers have a role, but no one makes them wear something specific. It's the same thing with greeters.

"I feel that they aren't just guests if I ask them to do an assigned task at my wedding, invite them to the rehearsal dinner, buy them gifts, and have them get ready with the BP then asking them to purchase a dress in my color isn't too much to ask . I'm just looking for a term to call them that embodies what I'm actually asking them to do at my wedding."

UMMM THAT IS WAAAAY TOO MUCH TO ASK. A greeter just has to show up 30-60 minutes before the ceremony in a nice outfit and direct people. They DO NOT need to buy an expensive dress they will never wear again and pay to get their hair done to GREET PEOPLE. Either add them in as bridesmaids, or ask them to be greeters. Do not force them to pay that much money just to great people. That's so rude. "Hey can you pay lots of money to be a prop in my wedding but you aren't close enough to actually be a BM, sorry!"

Just ask them, don't do some elaborate proposal. It's not really an "honored" position IMO. I also would advise you against telling them to get a dress

Venue requirements aside- don't require your greeters to buy a dress. unless they're like 12 years old calling them an honorary bridesmaid may feel weird to them. like 'I really like you, but you didn't make the cut. please direct the rest of the guests to their seats'

From one snooty bride: just ask them and be very clear that they will be working the day or your wedding and not be guests.

ETA: I would hire people to do that if possible. I think most would be insulted if they were forced to buy a dress and just greet people.