Boudoir Sudden Mixed Feelings

I think since you have a feel photographer, there's no need to have second thoughts about it.. I did a boudoir shoot for my FH as well and I had the same feeling as you.. I did run it by my FH but he said since I had a female photographer there was no need and I almost feel like it ruined the surprise a tad bit.. I think you'll be just fine leaving it as a surprise

What the hell website was that? www.masculinitysofragile.com?

It sounds like you have a tasteful shoot planned; lingerie and sports jerseys are very much the norm for these shoots, I believe!

And as for "things going south fast", it sounds like a boudoir shoot is your FH's thing, considering he likes pictures of you in lingerie already; I don't think you have any sort of reaction to worry about. Ignore that reach. You know your crowd/FH best and your plan, from the sounds of it, is a good one.

I think you booked this because you believe that your FH will enjoy these pics. I think, here is where some people get concerned:

Make sure that you discuss before your shoot what your photographer will do with the pics post shoot. Will he publicly post or publish them? Will he sell them for advertising? You need to know stuff like this up front.

There is a photographer I follow on Facebook and I would never book something so private with him because he post a LOT of his work publicly sometimes with just a ribbon to cover up the minimum. He also sells his pictures to be used by any company advertising anything. I've seen his work on book covers, billboards, DVD sleeves, & more.

Be very clear from the beginning!

I did a surprise one for my H as well. This is an expensive and very personal gift so I think that its normal to have second thoughts, but not because your FH would see it as a betrayal of trust! I think you may be over thinking it, I totally did the same thing and was worried H was going to think it was a waste of money but he LOVES them. You know your FH best, I would go with it and start getting excited for his reaction

Ha! No, those men are likely very limited in number and very insecure and possessive. I was also long distance with my FH for most of our relationship and know they don't work if people are jealous or possessive so I don't think you have anything to worry about!

@darian and everyone - I sort of ended up doing the same thing...he was a few beers deep and I told him some women do bridal shoots in their dresses before the wedding and then get bridal lingerie shot after. He asked a lot of logistical questions - what if I have to teach our future children about the birds and the bees because he sees a naked polaroid of you - but the idea definitely intrigued him. I dropped it at "well, I'll look into it but I'm really busy and it's pricey" and switched the topic to invites - I hope he forgets!

@shelby_erin26 - That's exactly what brought me to google it and find that page in the first place - I didn't know about the price vs. what he would do with them. Thank you for your sweet words - very excited to surprise him!

I think Jamie expressed it well. Some men just don't care to see their wives in pics like that. It doesn't always have anything to do with being insecure or possessive. It may have a lot to do with modesty, religious beliefs and what they perceive as appropriate.

@nancy like I mentioned in my post, he already has many pictures of me in lingerie - there are obviously no religious or modesty concerns. Jaime has great points that I will want to make sure the photographer does not use the pictures on her websites or in her studio and to watch out for myself but she did not say anything about religious beliefs, modesty, or appropriateness.

Thank you for your support, everyone else! T-minus two weeks til the shoot