Body Image Issues

Same problem here i have always been somewhat of a "tomboy" never wore dresses so when i was looking for a dress i felt out of place and decided to skip it instead were doing a bears theme wedding and got custom jerseys and i got a big white skirt id post a pic but it doesnt show up on my phone at least i know ill be comfortable on my wedding day and not feel out of place

First, breathe......you have plenty of time to go look at dresses. I got engaged last October and looked about 1 month later.

Second, and this is coming from someone who has always been unhappy about their body, now is the perfect time to make healthy lifestyle changes....eat better, drink more water, be more active. You'll likely want to do that before the wedding anyway, so might as well start now. It goes by so fast. If its something that it is seriously causing anxiety, just take some time to get your mind right. I always feel better about how I look after a few weeks of healthy eating and regular workouts.

Third, its really not that bad. I went in with no expectations of finding a dress. Be open to trying on different styles to really narrow down what works for your body type. Just realize that bridal sizes are weird and just about any salon you go to will most likely not have your exact size. I ended up with the 4th dress I tried on....a discontinued style on the clearance rack that was 1-2 sizes too small.

I am now worried that I did my alterations too early!! But I wanted to do them early just in case something went wrong with my dress and I needed a new one or extra time to fix it.

I just posted to another thread... I weigh 30 pounds more now than my heaviest I've ever weighed. I looked at all the threads here of women desperate to lose weight and terrified to shop for dresses, and it literally changed my life. I realized that I was going to spend 18 months and $13k planning something that I would spend being miserable the entire time - and regret that I did that to myself for the rest of my life. It was a huge epiphany.

I went to my first dress appointment with my BFF and SIL. I told them they could ask me to try on any dress they wanted, and i had a list of 5 from Alfred Angelo's website with me.

The first dress I put on, and was FLOORED. I felt GREAT! I looked great! Sure, I didn't like my arms - so, i just decided I could add sleeves later if I wanted, big deal. Few women look 'great' in strapless dresses - something even wedding industry people admit... even the thinnest women get back fat from being practically sewn into the dress LOL But I kept trying on dresses, and I kept being amazed at how pretty they were and how good i felt in 2/3 of them.

I am a size 22/24 in bridal, and 5'3". My weight has fluctuated throughout my life as I've struggled with autoimmune disease. I spent most of 2012 in an out of the hospital and in pain, so when I got engaged in 2013, I thought to myself "Ok, I may be fat, but I am not in pain and I am happy in love, and I'm going to enjoy this, damnit!" LOL

Please, please try to think about the fact that no one buy you looks at you as a collection of parts and pieces. Please watch (or re-watch) the 10-minute long "Dove Real Beauty Sketches" video on Youtube before you go shopping for your dress. Dress shopping is not a horrible experience. If it wasn't for me, I *promise* it's not going to be for you - unless you choose it to be. You can do this - and it will really be good, if you let it

First pic = first dress I tried on... it fit! it felt good! i actually felt like a bride! waaay too hot though

Second pic = dress on model on website that I ultimately bought - yay pockets!

Third pic = the dress on the model, which I bought and added lace sleeves to

@tina same here! I was a tomboy up until college! I somewhat felt embarrassed when I actually wanted to wear makeup or wear more feminine clothing because it unwarranted to a lot of attention from people who weren't used to me looking "girly" and I think that really added to the insecurities I had. I felt like a late bloomer lol! @futuremrsjohnson My mind battles time! I swear one day I have plenty of time, the next day it seems to fly by! I have been doing spinning and weightlifting for about 8 months now and have been seeing a nutritional doctor for guidance...I think for the most part it is mental! Anxiety has always gotten to me somehow, whether body image or public speaking or being in a room not knowing anyone! I take it day by day but it's nice to know I am not the only one! @rebecca First off, you look stunning in that dress. Your smile is radiating confidence! I hope to express that as well! You give me hope! I need to not obsess over this but I feel a lot better knowing you felt the same way but you felt great and felt beautiful! I have never been the all eyes on me or center of attention and FH wants a big wedding so the thought of people staring at me made me cringe a bit but I feel a lot better reading all your words, thank you guys!

I'm currently at my highest weight ever. I feel like a total whale. That being said... I had an extremely body hugging dress and day of I felt great. I was threatening to wear a sweatshirt with it to hide my arm jiggle, but once my hair and makeup was done and the dress was on, I'm pretty sure no one noticed it. The fit and style of your dress is far more important than your weight. Try on different styles and make sure you find the right one for your shape - there is a ton of variety in wedding dress shapes!

Hey Jess! What type of dress did you end up with? Thank you for the advice! I will have to remember to just go in, try on different styles! What type of garment did everyone wear underneath their dresses?

As someone who has had weight issues since about age 2, it breaks my heart to read those posts, and all the women who have posted so far have hit it spot on.

First, get over the size; bridal dresses are sized way small; it's not that you suddenly got three sizes bigger; it's that the dresses just are not sized like real clothes.

As Future (you need to change your name to NOW!) said, if you want to make changes that we should all probably make, make them now! Drink more water, get a Fitbit, add some exercise little by little; it sounds like you're doing great! And YOU hit it; most of this is mental; adjusting your attitude towards yourself, treating yourself well, and loving all your body does for you.

And Rebecca; you look so gorgeous in that dress (and I stole your tip for my blog on Monday!)

I got a mermaid... I had a HUGE ballgown at my first wedding so I wanted to do something different. I had serious dress regret at one point because I have an extreme hourglass figure and I thought I'd look way too hippy in it, but after it was altered it looked 1,000x better.

Day of, all I wore was underwear. I was going to wear Spanx for my thighs, but they were too hot. It was a corset so I didn't need a bra, and my seamstress said I didn't need cups.

Here's a good wedding day shot of the dress... Maggie Sottero Divina.

Dress shopping was and still was my biggest anxiety. I hate shopping in general for clothes. I am overweight, but also VERY large chested so I don't exactly fit into clothes very easily.

However, once I was actually at the shop trying on dresses, the anxiety dissolved away. Your dress is tailored to your body, and not you trying to cram or make a dress work that hangs off of you. It's supposed to fit like a glove. And trust me on this, when you find THE dress, your "oh my God I look fat" or "I don't look good in anything" thoughts really do go away.

You guys are really making me feel better! I didn't know if I would come off as "woe is me" but I'm glad that I can identify myself with you all and that I'm not the only one who has felt or feels this way! I feel actually...excited now! I appreciate all of the responses and I think it is really good to be uplifting toward each other but still honest. You know it can be a cold judgmental world out there LOL

I can tell you as someone that has worked in a bridal salon and helped many brides find there dream dress..there is a dress out there for every shape, size and height that will make you feel stunning, when dress shopping you have to have a open mind to try on different styles and you may be very suprised what silhouette you find yourself feeling the most beautiful in.

Even the smallest of women have those same insecurities, most bridal salons offer corset bras and slips that you can use while trying on dresses or you can bring your own as well so that you dont feel vulnerable being undressed with a consultant.

You definitely don't come off as "woe as me." Promise. I made a similar thread myself before I went dress shopping. This is a very common insecurity. Good news is, it's always something that's worried about for nothing, because there has never been a single BAM on here where the bride wasn't absolutely stunning

Similar issues here. I actually cried a few times before going dress shopping because I was so convinced that nothing was going to look good on me and that I was going to walk away empty handed and feeling disgusting. Well, I started trying dresses on and I felt so beautiful! And I never feel that way! And once I found "the one" all my insecurities melted away. I got my dress very early and it already came in a couple months ago. I am storing it at my moms and I tried it on again a couple of weeks ago and I still felt the same way! Don't stress over it, I'm one of the most insecure people and i still managed to have an amazing time dress shopping. Everyone will be oooing and ahhing over you so much so that you'll start to do it yourself. Good luck

I'm just going to add my voice to everyone else's here. I'm someone who's struggled with eating disorders most of my life, and though I've been in recovery for a long time, that anxiety doesn't ever go away, you just learn better how to deal with it. The shopping and fitting process was definitely a huge stress for me, but actually doing it ended up feeling different than I expected. While I definitely had dresses that weren't right for my body, and that definitely was difficult in such a public forum (and yes, trying on wedding dresses was, in my experience, fairly public), there were enough lovely things that surprised me to make up for it. I think maybe the thing that helped the most for me was to constantly remind myself that the dress you try on is a starting point - a general sense of what the final product will look like. It's so different from buying things off the rack, where it either works or it doesn't. I think the more agency you give yourself, to say "whatever it looks like now, I'm going to be able to change it in any way I want, to make it look great" the more in control and less anxious you'll feel. The dresses you try on in the store are like a very rough draft.

Hey! You're not alone! My wedding is also October 2016 and I dreaded looking for dresses because I'm about 35-40 lb heavier than usual and than I'd like to be. I told myself over and over that I would lose weight first then go dress shopping. Well my BMs and I saw a dress that was beautiful at the one and only shop I went to. A month later (this past May), they were having a Memorial Day sale and the dress was going to be 20% off. So I went there with my mom on Memorial Day "just to try." I'll be honest, I hated the whole experience because I felt bad about my body, but when I tried on "the dress" I thought to myself "You know, this dress is beautiful and looks beautiful on me. If I lose weight, then great. But if I don't, then I will still look beautiful in this dress." So I bought it. I'm trying to lose some weight in the meantime before it arrives in a few months.

But my point is, there is a dress out there for you that you will feel beautiful in and that will look beautiful on you no matter what your size at the moment. Go and find that dress!

My advice when you have body image issues and are dress shopping is to only take one or two people with you. If you bring the whole peanut gallery, the extra opinions are going to make everything harder. Pick the two most supportive people in your life, drink some champagne and have a good time!

Also, if it's within your budget, try Maggie Sottero's designs. Her dresses are seriously structured to make you look fantastic, whether you're a 2 or a 20. I felt fantastic in every Maggie dress I tried on and ended up buying the Maggie Sottero Chesney that had an inner corset.

@Celia - thanks! I'm slightly afraid one of these days the Wedding Industry mafia will hunt me down for putting that tip out there LOL!!!

My bottom half is larger than my top half and I was worried about trying on dresses too. I've been working out with a personal trainer since October and my arms are looking good but my stomach still looks bloated/pregnant sometimes. I found a beautiful A-Line dress that hides all of (what I call) the "bad stuff." I felt so pretty in it and I can't wait until it comes in so I can put it on again. I know there are dresses out there that are perfect for your body type, and your consultant will help you find them.

I had serious anxiety about wedding dress shopping. I was terrified none of the sample sizes would fit and I'd feel like a huge, ugly slug. I found two shops locally that specialized in plus size dresses so I knew that I'd be able to put the dresses on my body. For me, that was a big deal. I would rather have the samples be too big and have them cinched than be trying on something too small for me and trying to imagine what it would look like if it fit.