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Dedicated October 2021

Body Image as a Bride

Amanda, on August 9, 2021 at 8:04 PM Posted in Fitness and Health 2 8

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I’ll preface this with saying I have struggled with my body/body image/self esteem for the majority of my life. I was an early bloomer, had the biggest boobs/most developed body of my friends at a young age, and while I’ve managed to lose 30 lbs in the past few years, I am struggling with some weight gain and feeling good about my body.

My bridal shower was this past weekend and it was amazing, but afterward, all I could do was analyze and tear apart every single photo taken and how big I looked. People tell me I’m crazy and that I look fine, so I don’t know if this is some sort of body dysmorphia kind of thing or what. My wedding is in two months and all I can think about is fitting into my dress and worrying I’m going to hate every single picture our photographer takes. I wanted to lose more weight ahead of the wedding and I feel like I’ve only managed to put it on, which is my own fault as I really haven’t tried that hard.
I know diet culture and social media puts a lot of pressure on women, especially brides, to look great for their wedding. But then there’s the body positivity movement that says you should love your body no matter what it looks like and that your beauty/worth isn’t defined by weight gain/the number on the scale. I just feel so conflicted and defeated. I am not that heavy - thick, probably and maybe a little overweight for my height, but I just can’t stop hating how I look and wishing I was smaller for the wedding. Any advice/brides who felt the same way and managed to still feel beautiful on their big day?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Kristina, on September 19, 2021 at 8:55 PM

Super October 2022
AJ · on August 9, 2021 at 8:13 PM
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I was a late bloomer, and I’m very petite. I was always tiny like 100lbs or less at 5’3. Now I’m 150 lbs the heaviest I’ve ever been. Sometimes I don’t mind it, and sometimes I hate it. It’s mostly due to boredom and stress eating that I’m having a hard time controlling and getting older and not having the metabolism I once had. I’m not married yet but I have time. It’s just hard to stay motivated especially being stuck at home. I go for walks with my dog and play with her and try to work out but it’s not enough if I’m not eating right. It’s a constant struggle of being at peace with it and then I see my mom and she makes comments about my weight and I go back to trying to do some crash diet and it obviously fails as diets do. At the end of the day I remember my fiancé loves me and wants to marry me. He’s trying to help me reach what I want but I’m just not motivated, but he isn’t pressuring me. It helps me feel better that he’s supportive.
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on August 9, 2021 at 8:43 PM
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I have had similar struggles most of my life, you are definitely not alone. I’ve been trying on dresses lately and it certain ones I notice the little “stomach pouch” and it makes me not excited about dresses and the wedding. I don’t think there’s any key piece of advice to help us other than learning to be confident and loving yourself. It’s been hard for me but I’ve slowly been learning to love my body, no matter the size. Don’t crash diet, but don’t binge eat like crazy either. Fuel your body with proper nutrients, but treat yourself once in a while as well.
As for pictures, I thought I would hate myself in our engagement pictures. But our photographer is so good and she made me love them and myself! Photographers are good at their jobs. Express any concerns to your photographer and they will utilize angles and edit anything you want. I hope you can overcome this and enjoy your day and love your pictures! You’re not alone and we are all her for support! hold you head high girl!
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Just Said Yes December 2021
Amanda · on August 9, 2021 at 9:11 PM
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You are not alone. I feel the same way. I just picked up my wedding dress today and immediately felt anxious trying it in because of my body. I’ve done really good with trying to lose weight. I’ve hit a plateau for the past few months and it’s been really discouraging. You are not alone. I felt beautiful in my dress but the moment I took it off and the ride home, all I thought about was how am I going to look in pictures and got really sad. We shouldn’t feel this way. Our fiancé’s love us. Keep your head high! We need to love ourselves!
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Expert September 2022
EGD · on August 10, 2021 at 8:57 AM
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You're not alone! I struggle from Body Dysmorphia, the only thing I have found helpful is having a friend who truly understands what I'm saying about myself when I look at my body.
My best friend is fully aware of my Body Dysmorphia, and has found ways to talk me down in an open and honest way instead of just "you look fine" or "you're crazy that's not how you look"
I recently went shopping for my wedding dress, I brought my mom, cousin (MOH) and this best friend (who's also a bridesmaid) and I had a very open and honest talk with her prior about all of my concerns so she was prepared with how I would respond to seeing my body in dresses.
Do you have a friend who fully understands your body image issues, and is able to speak with you in a direct, open way that's constructive and not just "stop you're fine," that's the only thing I've found that helps.
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Expert October 2021
Kristen · on August 27, 2021 at 10:02 AM
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I'm going through the same thing. My wedding is eight weeks from tomorrow, having been postponed from last spring because of COVID. Right before the postponement, I had taken my dress in for alterations. I was so excited because it was loose, so they had to take it in, and then I lost a little more weight! During quarantine, though, I gained 10 lbs that my body refuses to lose, no matter what I do. I have had nightmares about putting my dress on, only to find that it doesn't fit, so now I'm terrified to put it on. I'm also afraid about pictures. Sometimes I can take a decent picture, but others I feel as though I look like a troll. I don't want to feel less than human on my wedding day, and I also don't want all the guests whispering how big I look. I can only hope our photographer can work some kind of magic.
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Dedicated October 2021
Amanda · on August 27, 2021 at 10:16 AM
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Our timing is pretty similar for our wedding dates! I recently had my fitting and when I tell you I was TERRIFIED to put that dress on. I have some stubborn weight that just won’t go away, and I eat fairly healthily, could probably be more active but such is life. I do want to let you know that once I put that dress on and it zipped up with no issues and I saw myself in the mirror, all of my worries dissipated. I felt so beautiful and didn’t pick my body apart (except for my upper arms which is just an always ongoing battle of mine). Try to get into your dress soon if you’re doing fittings so you can see what needs to be done, and TAKE PICTURES. My sister came with me and took some great pictures so whenever I start to panic about my weight or body image, I look back at those pictures and remember how beautiful I felt and know how beautiful I will feel on my wedding day. My stomach is hidden by the dress (and some great shape wear!) and my only concern is my arms which I’m working on. Also in terms of pictures, this sounds lame, but before my shower I looked up “how to pose” in pictures to avoid double chin and just bad angles and that honestly helped a lot too, because I don’t always take the best pic and that too messes with my body image.
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Dedicated October 2021
Amanda · on August 27, 2021 at 10:17 AM
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Also, talk to your photographer about your concerns too/things you’re self conscious of so they can ensure they’re putting you in flattering angles and not doing anything that will make you self conscious!
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Savvy October 2022
Kristina · on September 19, 2021 at 8:55 PM
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Maybe seek some counseling before for the big day? We can get stuck in our heads and judge what we don't like about ourselves all day long, but struggle to make the changes needed to feel better about ourselves. A counselor might be able to help you put in perception what you are feeling and offer coping skills that can make you feel more positive about your body and yourself in general. We are surrounded in a world full of judgmental people and our biggest problem is we hold way to much value in other peoples opinions of ourselves. Complete strangers should hold zero weight in your value of how you feel about yourself. Family, and friends should be very supportive of you on your wedding day and if they have anything negative to say about how you look, simply remember it is a reflection of their self they are simply projecting on to you. It is not you they feel disgusted by, but themselves. Human behavior is odd and how we act towards others is very misdirected at times.
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