Blended family ceremony with children

We are doing a unity candle ceremony. My daughter is from a previous relationship so we all will be lighting the candle together.

I wanted to incorporate FH'S children in the ceremony but he didn't think it was necessary. They are the bridal party. And I'll get them nice gifts. Ages 17, 15, 14.

FH's 15 year-old son will be his Best Man, and his 8 year-old son will be the ring bearer. We are also doing a unity sand ceremony where we each have our own color sand and the officiant will speak about creating not just a marriage, but a family. If you google wording for blended family unity ceremonies, you will find some nice options.

You can pour sand or paint, you could also do a hand tracing, where you each trace each other's hand on heavy paper and then have that framed (I really like that one....). If they are older, they can do readings. (when I do sand, I suggest that each person adds a charm, a little rock and in one case, a little lego figure, lol, and I tell them to shake the family vessel every year. Each year, a different set of charms will surface! It evolves, just like your family does.

You should talk to your officiant about ideas you might have found or that they might have done before.

When my dad and step-mum got married, they included us by making us (my siblings) part of the wedding party. That included my dad making me is best man, despite me being a bridesmaid for my step-mum. I was 14, and my siblings were 13, 10 and 4 (my sister being my dad and step-mums daughter, my brothers and I from my dads marriage to my mom). They also did a ring ceremony where my dad and step-mum placed rings on our fingers together to symbolize the new unity of our families. Super simple, and not necessary (of course), but lovely nonetheless. The sentiment was wonderful, and as the ceremony was only attended by about 30 people (closest friends and family), my step-mum was thanked by my dads family for including us in something so meaningful.

We are doing a padlock ceremony. I am then going to mount them to hang in the house.

My BIL and SIL did a ring ceremony for their family. I think the sand vessel would be a cute idea as well and you won't have to worry about the kids growing out of it like they would a ring.

There are family unity medallions the new step-parent can present to the children or any type of pendant. Rings get outgrown too quickly.

Parents can make vows to the children (but don't put the kids on the spot by asking them to make vows).

One of my families used colored beads (like for making necklaces) and mixed them into an open shallow bowl.

Make sure younger children understand that they are not losing a parent. One little boy (about 5) escorted his mom down the aisle. Everyone had been asking him if he was 'giving away' his mom. He was in tears because he took it literally.

We have 5 sons between the 2 of us (14, 12, 10, 8 and 6). They are ALL "our best men". Although we originally didn't want to, we are thinking we will go ahead and do a sand ceremony. They have come along with us to certain meetings (two of FH's sons did the cake testing and helped decide) and given their input on ideas. One of FH's sons really wanted to play "Here comes the bride" on his saxaphone for my bridal entrance (so sweet). We told him he could play it at the rehearsal dinner. We want them to be involved, but also want to keep the main focus on the fact that FH and I are joining OUR lives forever (long after our boys are moved out and married themselves).

What me and my husband did was we got rings for our girls (we have all girls) and when me and him were married he gave them a ring too so they felt involved and that it was a promise that he would always be there for them. It was so stinkin cute! Now, we are considering step parent adoption on rapidadoption.com. Time flies, and our family is doing great! I hope you and your little blended family can do something cute for your wedding too!