Blended 3.0

Is she a major part of his life?

View Quoted Comment Yes, he considers her his daughter.

View Quoted Comment What is the downside to including her in the sand ceremony? Do you have limited space for it?

Honestly, that’s his daughter. He’s likely the only real father figure she knows, you just said he raised her. I think it’s very rude of you not to include her.

I think it would be wrong to include your biological children and not someone that he also views as his child.

There’s more to family than biology. If he considers her his daughter and raised her as such, that’s just as important as a child he fathered. My father is my biological father but he will not be invited to the wedding because he is not a good person. What’s the downside of having her during the sand ceremony? You can never have too much love and support and a family.

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That's his kid then and should be part of the ceremony as well.

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Exactly this. Family is the people that were there for you, not DNA. I think you need to appreciate that this girl is his daughter too which makes her your family now.

I don’t think this is your call. He views her as a daughter and wants her included so she should be included.

Yes, this is a decision that should be made as a family and if he considers her his family, then you should too because you are becoming one during the unity ceremony.

I agree with the above that the love for a child doesn't matter if they are biological or not and you would hope that if you have kids outside of the marriage he would claim them for his own as well. I don't see anything wrong with this hopefully you come around to the idea usually men don't have too many request so what's the harm here unless you don't have a good relationship with her.

I think you have to accept how he defines family. Some men would want this, some might not care.

View Quoted Comment I’m actually going to agree here despite my above comment. Regardless of space or your feelings, this isn’t your decision to make. If he considers her family, and you insist on a unity ceremony with other children you are effectively saying to her and him “We are one unit of family and she is an outsider” which is super uncool.

Thanks, everyone!

Hey Talia,

Yes, I agree with all previous poster friends. That's his daughter, no matter how you flip it, and if he wants her to be involved in the ceremony, then that's how it should be. He sees her as his child, blood or not. Wishing you the best!

If your fiance considers her his daughter, you should too in my opinion.

I agree with PPs, telling him that she cannot participate, despite the fact that he raised her and feels like she is his daughter, would be like telling a child you adopted that they couldn’t participate because they weren’t biologically family. Love and family doesn’t require a biological connection. She’s your family too now.

It is ultimately you and your FH's decision to make but I don't think leaving out his daughter is a great way to start the marriage. I know you said they aren't blood relatives but if this is the man she calls dad, he is her father, and you are going to hurt them both.

The situation is a little more complex than I’ve explained but i appreciate everyone’s thoughts. And, yes ultimately the decision is ours, I simply wanted to get an idea of how others would handle it.

This wedding is about you and your FH - meaning you can invite who you want and he can invite who he wants. Not just who you want to invite. I think if he feels emotionally close to the daughter then he has every right/should be able to invite her.