Black Tie Wedding

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It may help for some, for some it won't matter.

Is that a Fairmont? It looks remarkably like my lobby.

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I would never turn someone away. I guess I was more concerned with guests feeling out of place if they walked into the venue and were not formally dressed. I am totally ok with formal attire!

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Thank you! Your venue is gorgeous as well!

I was going to add pictures of the venue both inside and outside on our wedding website for our guests to help them prepare since we will be having a lot of OOT guests.

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Nope it is an Omni hotel!

I love Fairmonts too!

So just a funny story we had a guest decline when they got the save the date because they said they would feel out of place because he figured it would be fancy. Our save the dates were Old Fashion Photos we got taken at the beach! HAHAHA

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That's kind of what I did. Showed images of the venue on my website to convey that it was an upscale venue. People showed up dressed appropriately without any mention of dress code.. I think it also helped that it was an evening wedding, downtown on a Saturday.

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I looked it up and it is amazing! I was torn what to do because I also didn't want to blast a full picture of the inside and ruin for guests who hadn't been there before. I just settle now on putting the lobby in the accommodation section, a picture of the urban chandelier for the ceremony time, and a picture of one of the crystal chandeliers for the reception information.

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Thank you for your suggestion. I will change the invitation to formal attire instead of black tie optional. I would NEVER turn away any of our guests. I just don't want them to feel out of place when they drive up to the reception venue.

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Sure.

I googled hosting a black tie event and other versions similar to this. It helps a bit but, most of it is attire related. Here are some links I found helpful:

Discusses timing and invites: http://www.blacktieguide.com/Supplemental/Weddings.htm

Basic Info and Favors: https://www.amazingtent.co.uk/6-tips-for-a-sophisticated-black-tie-event/

General Info: https://holidappy.com/party-planning/hosting-a-black-tie-event

Things to Avoid: https://www.brides.com/story/biggest-black-tie-wedding-mistakes-brides-make

More Tips: http://www.simplycharmingsocials.com/tips-for-hosting-a-black-tie-wedding/

A lot of the info is based on things I've read here, other wedding forums and on etiquette websites but, I, unfortunately, do not have anything specific to point you towards.

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Thanks!!! Very helpful! I didn't find a few of those when I googled earlier. Much appreciated.

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Girl we are so similar!

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We really are! haha I just read the feed again and you and I basically said the same thing!

View Quoted Comment To me, the live band and the elaborate flowers are a big part of what makes a black tie event black tie. I think your invites, hosting level, and location dictate it being pretty formal, though. I might have missed it but what time does your ceremony start? If I saw your invite and looked up the location and saw those photos I would either wear a more formal cocktail dress or long (but simple) gown, but I live in New York where I *think* people tend to dress up more than in other parts of the country. What are you hoping that your guests wear?

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I'm pretty fond of my hotel, its pretty, and I get to see it everyday, which is always a perk. I work in a Fairmont, not getting married in one...

I sooo didn't mean to imply you would turn people away by the way! I didn't even realize I might be implying that!

People I think (hope) will just be really excited to come to your wedding, and once their in the room they'll just be happy to be celebrating with you.

UO but those invites aren't formal to me. They're kinda flashy so to me that reads more towards cocktail attire.

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My wedding reception was at the Fairmont in Sonoma and it also looks a lot like the lobby there!

As far as more info on the degrees of formality- Emily Post books are the best. Her family members "update" them slightly every decade or so since her death, but the older ones are just fine. You can get a used one on Amazon for less than $10, and it will have all sorts of interesting stuff to read. I used to be a live in servant for very wealthy people- that book was a huge help to me in understanding what to expect and how to perform my job during "fancypants" events.

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Agree, but if I got that invitation I would know that I shouldn't wear jeans or a business skirt. I think that is what the OP is trying to convey to her guests, that it's a cocktail + event.

View Quoted Comment Don’t worry I didn’t take it an a bad way! I’ve heard some people would turn others away if they wanted something that formal.

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Good lord, people get so up tight about their weddings. I can't imagine turning someone away from my wedding.

View Quoted Comment I will have to stop and pick up one of those!! I’m pretty clueless to this stuff. I just always thought it was a dress code up until today. So was curious as to what it entailed. I wont have everything listed and won’t be listing black tie.