Black Tie Wedding - Opinions please

About 15 years ago a good friend of mine's son married the daughter of a cardiologist. The wedding was black tie and was held in a large hotel in center city Phila. Since it was their only daughter, and there would be many doctors and other health field guests, a black tie wedding was not out of the norm. My friends and I were absolutely excited to go and get all dressed up. Our husbands rented tuxes and we all had an amazing time. That's the only time I've been to one.

I was so overwhelmed with making my invitations that I completely forgot to say anything about a dress code. I would have LOVED a black tie wedding. but obviously it's very impractical this day in age.

Is it totally black tie? Or Black Tie Optional? My cousin's wedding was Black Tie Optional and there were people in tuxedos, suits, floor length and cocktail style dresses. I would ask to make sure what is expected before deciding on an RSVP.

I think its generally inconsiderate if this is not the norm with your crowd. im sure people think it just sounds fun to have everyone all dressed up, but not everyone has gowns and tuxedos just lying around.

I have gone to a black tie event for under $200. It can be done. Don't think because its black tie you have to run out and by an expensive outfit. :/

I'm having a black tie optional wedding and I think it's kind of appalling that anyonewould think that's rude or "over it" if I'm paying 30k+/- for my wedding I don't want people coming with polo shirts and khakis or dresses their ass cheeks are hanging out in. I'm not saying tuxedos are required bc they are optional but I'm hoping it will eliminate the above mentioned.

I'm sorry, but this is not the hosts' problem. If they want a black tie affair, that is their preference since it is their wedding after all. They are probably spending top dollar (as in more than what you would spend for attire) for you to attend also, so don't call them inconsiderate. It's your fault for not having at least 1 dress or something formal to wear to these types of affairs since generally, they require dressing up. Also, $400 is an exaggeration on what you'd spend considering you can go to a Lord and Taylor or similar store and buy something for less than $200, especially if it's on sale.

DH & I were invited to my nephew's "black tie optional" wedding out of state.

With cost of transport to/from two airports, airfare, hotel and meals, a gift, and shutting down our two businesses for 5 days -- DH wore his blazer and slacks. I did have a long taupe gown to wear.

I thought it was more important that we be there than what we wore. If anyone felt differently, they didn't say anything. And woe be to them if they had!

@Deb - Sheryl's point is a good one... is it Black Tie or Black Tie Optional? Big difference - and you might ask your friend outright if she meant Black Tie Optional, in case she just made a simple semantic mistake. She could correct the situation on their website for the wedding, and spread the message by word of mouth.

Otherwise, my feeling is: What's the difference between choosing black tie as the dress code, and choosing a destination wedding that the couple knows most people in their circle can't afford to attend? I don't see people saying it's unacceptable for a couple to have a destination weddings if everyone close to the couple can't make it, so why is it a different attitude when we're talking attire?

I think it's a little annoying and I don't get the point of it but If it bothers you just RSVP "no".