I know that this can be a pretty heated topic for some people but we're truly stumped. My fiancé and I are getting married at a very nice hotel downtown Chicago this fall and would like to have our reception black tie preferred. The neighborhood and the venue are more formal, so we really aren't sure if we should put preferred or optional.
We feel that saying preferred just implies to dress nicer (no jeans or khakis, dark suit or tux for men and nicer dresses for women). My future MIL is convinced that people will read that, assume they need to rent a tux - and that we need to put "black tie optional".
Many people on our guest list are coming from out of town and many that live in Chicago are not familiar with the venue. We're not trying to be snobby and don't expect people to rent a tux/dress by any means but we also don't want our guests to feel out of place/uncomfortable. Should we put "Black Tie Preferred" or "Black Tie Optional"?
Can someone please share advice?
