Black Tie Optional wedding

I have been to black tie optional weddings that had all the "markers" of a black tie event, but they didn't want you to have to purchase a tuxedo or gown in order to attend if you didn't already own one.

Our CC is formal and we have black tie events, but never "optional." As far as that goes, we have four "levels" of dress and each event we go to specifies the dress code. Nothing is ever "optional." That being said, I've never been to a wedding at our club, so I have no idea how they handle dress for private events???

Thank you for all the advise. I think I will have to purchase an outfit but FH owns a dark suit so he will most likely just wear that.

If he is wearing a dark suit, you can wear a nice cocktail dress and you will be fine! If you don't want to spend a ton you could borrow one from a friend or just get a classic one at TJMAXX that you can wear again. A LBD would be perfect with the dark suit.

Black Tie Optional is my least favorite attire level! It's so much more confusing than just stating Black Tie, and for guys they really need to jump either way!

We just went to a Black Tie Optional wedding at a country club and didn't go full black tie. DH wore a navy suit and I wore a floor length floral navy dress.

He'll be fine in a dark suit and I'd just wear a dressier dress!

It literally doesn't mean anything.

Black tie optional is a thing. It means formal wear - he can wear a tux or dark suit. Women should wear long formal dress, preferably black or dark colors.

"Black Tie Optional (or Black Tie Invited) allows hosts to suggest that men wear tuxedos but not to insist on it. This code is often employed in the context of large gatherings of civic or business groups, such as a dinner sponsored by a chamber of commerce.

The reality, though, is that this dress code is basically the formal equivalent of “business casual”: an attempt to please everyone that ultimately benefits no-one."

http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_BlackTie_Codes.htm

https://www.theknot.com/content/what-to-wear-formal-black-tie-optional-black-tie-invited

ETA: better explanation and grammar.

We just attended a "black tie preferred" wedding this weekend. Here is what we wore! I'd say 80% of the men wore tuxes and probably 60% of the women wore long dresses. We felt appropriately dressed. The wedding was held at a 5 star resort.

For those asking for clarifications about different printing methods:

Letterpress and engraving are very similar processes. The difference is the type of plates and how the plates are made.

Thermography is an alternative to engraving that achieves a similar look but is less expensive.

Calligraphy invitations can mean that each one of the invitations are hand calligraphed or the envelopes as well. Some use a hand calligrapher to develop a plate from and print the writing through any of these processes.

https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-invitation-printing-techniques

It means "we'd like everyone to wear tuxes but we've gotten some blowback, so..."

At least it's not "creative black tie." I despise that scourge on the digital media world.

Oh my gosh, lol, I feel so dumb right now. Thank you all for answering those questions. Sorry I kind of hijacked this - as I was reading the list, I suddenly realized that I checked all the boxes except the type of invitation.

I know some people who have done this in the hopes of getting family members to not dress like they are going to a ball game, but didn't actually expect tuxes. I know others who expected most people to wear tuxes and long gowns.

Black Tie Optional is definitely the worst. It tries to give guidance on what to wear, but can easily leave you completely over dressed or under dressed depending on how everyone else interprets it.

"Black tie optional" means we want a super fancy, formal event but either can't or won't pay for the fanciness. Please humor us and dress up really nice.

I've never been to a black tie or black tie optional event I really can't say what it looks like in practice, but it sounds like PPs have a good idea of what it'll be like.

Black tie optional is not a thing. It means "pretend we're offering an experience that merits formal attire".

I disagree. I've been to several Black Tie Optional and plenty of Semi-Formal and Cocktail attire weddings that hit all of the hosting requirements for a Black Tie event, but they were looking for a more casual atmosphere or were having a beach-side or outdoor wedding. You can have top notch hosting with a less formal vibe!

Our wedding was semi-formal but we had multiple plated courses, valet, 12 person band (until the last moment), open bar for the rehearsal dinner, welcome reception, and wedding, guest shuttles for the entire weekend, even our save the dates were letterpress! We could easily have decided to have a Black Tie wedding with our planned reception, but to me personally - country clubs just don't feel quite as fancy. Had we chosen a venue that was a museum or gorgeous ballroom then we totally would have gone Black Tie, but I just couldn't reconcile the patterned carpet and adjoining pro shop with a Black Tie event

I do think that everyone has to personally feel out whether the couple meant Black Tie Optional as "we really want everyone to wear Black Tie but don't want you to feel forced to buy a tux if you don't own one" or "the groom and groomsmen will be wearing tuxes so it's appropriate for you to wear one as well if you want"! My issue with Black Tie Optional is figuring out which way the guys are all going to go. It sucks being the only non-groomsmen in a tux, and also being the only guest not wearing a tux!

@Christy - Apologies if my terminology is confusing. Thermography offers a very similar effect to engraving. That was my point - it is done differently which is why its more affordable. I was just trying to use simple terms so others could understand how it appears. A much better explanation is contained in my link, if you look at it.

I will edit my previous post to clarify.

I actually have over 20 years experience in the printing and production industry, so it can be difficult for me to explain things in lamen's terms.