Black tie optional or semi-formal?

You can't have a cash bar and black tie optional or semiformal. Sorry, that just doesn't work.

You can say cocktail to convey. but this should only be done by word of mouth or on your website, not on the invite.

You want black tie optional. Semi-formal will have men in sport coats and slacks and women in wrap dresses. If black tie is "optional", very few will actually show up in black tie attire. If it were me, wanting what you want, I'd make it black tie optional, as long as it doesn't have an afternoon start time.

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Hmmmm, I missed that part. Yes, if you want people to dress, you need to host to the level of dress. It's not a homecoming dance. LOL

Hi Future Mrs. H!

I think what you are looking for is cocktail attire. I would put it somewhere on your website. Probably similar to you, I had no idea what black tie actually meant. I always just thought it was a dress code and had nothing to do with the level of hosting. Since planning my wedding I have started to learn a lot more about weddings. Black tie actually means there are a lot of high end services being provided at the wedding such as a full open top shelf bar, valet parking, etc.

It seems that your wedding would fit a cocktail attire which would have guests in nice clothes but not expecting a certain level of service. Sadly no matter what you put you may have guests dress however they want anyways. You are correct in your concerns over guests being slightly irritated after renting a tux then paying for drinks. I see no problem at all with this. I have a pretty open view on what guests can afford for their wedding. However, to avoid any hurt feelings I would not put black tie optional. Hope this helps!

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What she said. This is what I get when I skim a post and miss the "cash bar" part. I would let time of day and location dictate people's attire and leave off any mention of dress code. That's exactly what I am doing for mine (it's on the beach, at 4:00, and the style of the invites is plenty of information to know how to dress).

Black tie optional is to formal setting. I would say semi formal you may still get one or two in a sundress or not a suit.

What about saying cocktail attire? That means suit and tie for men...yes maybe one or two will come in a suit without at tie but they will still be dressed up.

Black tie optional, in the way that you mean it, doesn't exist. You're either providing black tie service or you're not. A cash bar is well below black tie service. You cannot request that your guests wear such formal attire if you don't plan to properly host them.

Can you find it in your budget to host the bar? If guest attire is really important to you then I think that will need to host the bar vs other maybe less essential things in your budget.

Also, what are your invites like? Your invite should also set the tone/formality of your wedding. Formal invites are black writing with ivory or cream, minor accents of gold/metallic, minimal florals, tissue paper, rsvp cards, hand addressed.

Unless you a hosting a true black tie wedding, attire should NEVER be mentioned on the invite.
If you're having a cash bar, you aren't having a formal event, so "semi-formal" is not appropriate. I'd list "cocktail" on your website if you must, although it's a little ironic as you aren't providing cocktails...

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I've always read "Cocktail attire" as more formal than "semi-formal."

This is making me laugh. Black tie optional have to have all this fancy stuff. Blah.

I’m not even sure my guests know that my wedding is a black tie optional event, and I honestly don’t care what they wear. And yes I do have an open bar. 😂

i mean, why do I care if someone is wearing a ball gown and another wearing a sun dress? I’m happy people showed up.

View Quoted Comment Technically they're the same thing lol but I always read semi formal as fancier than cocktail.

And this is why dress codes outside of Black Tie dont work lol

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I want to commend you on your incredibly polite response. So many times people get ripped apart as soon as readers see the cash bar. It's refreshing to see a response that is well put together without being ugly.

Go with cocktail attire. If you have a wedding website that would be a good place to elaborate on what you mean by that if you’re worried people won’t interpret it correctly. Don’t let the sassy responses get you down! Happy wedding planning!

As a guest of a cash bar wedding, it came as a total shock. We aren't cash carriers so we had enough for one drink between us the entire night. I would try to at least offer something towards the bar. Maybe do drink tickets and offer everyone one or two drinks? Don't know your situation but just wanted to offer a personal experience.

I think you're worrying too much about what your guests will wear. I noted Cocktail Attire Requested on my Reception inserts as that is typical wedding wear and I'm having full top shelf open bar with passed hor d'oeuvres during cocktail hour. If you're having a cash bar, whether it's at a country club or not, that is not black tie or semi-formal. As most women have noted, you are setting the level of service standard by requiring a more formal dress code.

I’d say cocktail attire. That denotes suits and cocktail (not sun) dresses. I’d also make
sure to emphasize that it’s indoor - outdoor weddings also lead to more casual attire.

You can suggest attire to your guests but you can’t guarantee anything. Even if you didn’t specify a dress code, I would assume cocktail attire if I saw the wedding at a country club. Sounds like cocktail attire is what you are looking for.

I will tell you that I would be completely shocked to be invited to a wedding at a country club and be expected to pay for my drinks. I would also be shocked for the couple to provide a dress code and have a cash bar. Personally, I find cash bars distasteful but I would be less suprised if that happened at s VFW Hall than a country club. I would be thinking, why have it at a fancy place if you can’t host the bar?