Black tie affair: biggest failure ever.

I didn't realise that people put "Black Tie" on their invites just to denote a dress code. I've been invited to two "Black Tie" weddings and they were proper "Black Tie" events. I don't understand why people do this. This is why newbs get a lot of questions when they ask about putting dress codes on their invites!

So many people think 'black tie' means 'I want you to wear formal clothes so my pictures look good'. If you're asking your guests for black tie attire, you need to host a black tie affair.

Maybe they labeled it "black tie" to try and get more money from people.

I attended one black tie wedding, at the Ritz Carlton in Manhattan. It was insane! I felt underdressed without professional hair and makeup and dripping jewels. That same couple attended our wedding. A few days before the wedding he called DH to ask what our dress code was-I told him definitely NOT black tie!

Yea...

The cost can be insane.

One I know for a fact cost about 250k, and they had maybe 130 people there.

And yes, most of the women got pro hair and makeup done the day of, and rented gowns.

Black tie annoys me. I understand wanting your guests to look nice but honestly if they aren't going to be in the professional photos let them wear what they want. Its a wedding i'm sure they will dress up nicely and if they don't, oh well. I picture 'black tie'" as in you will be in a ritzy fancy ballroom. Or that you will at least have a chair to sit at.. jeez.

I can't even imagine spending that much @m. Don't get me wrong, guests need good food, music, and booze...

Wow!

I had a very 'out of the box' wedding in Denver and this made my mouth drop.

Where was this wedding? 400 dollar a night rooms? Was it over the 4th of july or something?

More details please! wow.

Eh, when your annual income is several million dollars, 250k isn't' that much. It's all perspective.

I had to read this post again to make sure I even understood correctly. I'm all for having the kind of wedding you want in general, but how did anyone expect the no chairs thing to work?

I do find the whole black tie idea to be confusing if the groom wasn't wearing a tux.

I guess if I'd been invited to something like this I'd go if it was logistically possible, but it's events like this that cause me to bring a chair along to things. I can't sit on the ground.

Though I have a feeling that the asking for money thing will probably become more and more acceptable over time, not sure I would have gone with this request unless I didn't feel like shopping. The smores thing is something that I don't think I'd want to make dressed up either, but it does say they were optional. Maybe I'd get some kid who wasn't so dressed up to make me some Either way I hope they had a fun wedding.

Was it in Boulder by any chance? I'm so curious now. lol

Wow that's pretty damn awful!

Yes, I'm not going to re-iterate at length again why black tie suggests a specific level of service. I spent most of last weekend trying to make this point without much luck. People that write "black tie" on their invitation rarely know what that means.

Ugh that sounds like a shitshow.

my mom wanted me to put "black tie" on my invites since we are having a NYE wedding and she thinks everyone should wear sparkly dresses....While our wedding will be pretty formal, it won't be black tie. I told her "black tie" implies a lot more than guest dress code, and I think people will dress up for an NYE, late- evening wedding without being told to do so

O&S- I think you're right but I think OL is saying shes annoyed when people claim a black tie event and don't actually host it as a black tie. Shes jumped on several "My wedding is black tie because I want everyone to dress fancy" posts and laid into them for not representing the formality properly.

Omg eewww lol

I think attire notations are confusing. I recently saw an invitation that said, "Attire: Dressy Casual". That's an oxymoron when it comes to clothing. Of course I'd want to know if the wedding I was attending was truly black tie (I wouldn't want to be woman "m" mentioned who stuck out because she wore a cocktail dress in a sea of gowns), but beyond that, I know how to dress for weddings, and from what I've seen, so do most people (and those who don't are not going to pay attention to a dress code anyway).