Black tie affair: biggest failure ever.

This has been my past experience as well. Usually, people that make a big to-do about it being "black tie" have literally no effing clue what that actually means.

Good lord.... Did the wedding take place in a park?

BLACK TIE???? Oh my LAWD.

Sounds like it was 'common sense optional" (on their part; you showed plenty....)

I don't understand the fixation with black tie when it costs everyone; guests and host.....

I don't understand the fixation either. I mean, if you run with a group of people with unlimited disposable income I'm sure that's the norm. But, that's not the majority of people. If you don't have black tie money don't attempt to have a black tie wedding. It's that simple.

Bless their hearts.

You guys dodged a bullet on that one LOL

Oh my ! The list just kept going on and on. And just like what PP said, you guys definitely dodged a bullet. Lmao.

Ew

I feel like the term "black tie" is used so loosely now that people don't even know what it means anymore. It is crazy to think that these people considered this type of event a black tie affair.

Wow. Good thing you passed. WTF

I generally don't mind black tie weddings, it gives me a reason to dress up and that's always fun. But if they are black tie, they NEED to be black tie...

The "black tie" thing is one of my pet peeves. Unless a wedding really covers all of the black tie requirements, it is nothing short of pretentious to print it on your invitations.

There have been a few brides over the past couple of years who have posted threads about their alleged black tie weddings. When posters point out the long list of requirements attached to authentic black ties, the OP generally gets very defensive, and as always, a white knight comes galloping onto the scene to tell everyone that the wedding police aren't going to arrest anyone for breaking the rules of etiquette. No, they won't -- but it is incredibly rude to expect people to spend big bucks on cocktail dresses, gowns, and tux rentals.

Unfortunately, I think a lot of people think that "black tie" is synonymous with dressed up. It's the same line of thinking of people that put "dressy casual" "semi-dressy" and other faux dress codes on their invites. Adults should know how to dress themselves for a wedding, it's a given that you don't wear jeans or the like to a wedding. And those that don't know how to dress up properly probably won't listen to the invite anyway.

Glad you dodged that bullet!! I think if it's supposed to be "black tie" it should follow etiquette to a tee!!! Actually, if we were invited to a black tie wedding we probably wouldn't attend. My DH hates getting dressed up. I love to dress up but unless it was close family we probably would just decline.

Good gawd

Can we make this post a sticky?

Thank god, you didn't spend all that money. @Richard I would love to go to a true black tie wedding too. I think if done right they would be a lot of fun.

Black Tie weddings are my sore spot. I get so angry when someone here says they are having a black tie wedding, because they probably aren't.

Very thankful that the only two weddings I've been to with black tie on the invitation were 100% black tie. To the point that the person in the cocktail dress looked like a TOTAL ass.

Full bar, full live band, full decor, plated coursed meal with wine service, etc etc.

Honestly, they're no more fun than a regular wedding, as long as a more casual wedding is equally well hosted (meaning you're fed, open bar, and there's music.)

I've been to a truly black tie wedding (it was a black tie barn wedding!). I can't even begin to imagine the cost. It was beautiful, with a 5 course meal, open bar, and transportation provided for the guests. The bride and groom also left the ceremony in a vintage carriage. It was insane. For mere mortals, I always stress about the gift because what if my gift isn't the equivalent of what you spent hosting me???