Best Man’s gf is my employee do i invite her?

I would.. say yes just because that’s the best man’s gf. Otherwise if she weren’t then I wouldn’t

I feel like I'm missing part of the story, and it sounds juicy.

Yes - If they have been dating a long period of time and/or if everyone else in your wedding party has a plus one.

Got cut off before I can post the rest. The best man has been sleeping with this woman- who is still married for the past 3 years. He will not acknowledge her as his gf. She is now my employee, I am her direct manager.


My fiancé and the best man have since left the company.

I dont want to invite any of my employees to my wedding or even any other coworkers. We don’t really hang out with the best man and this woman as couple. Maybe twice in the past 3 years. I also feel weird having someone at the wedding that is still married but is the date of someone who isn’t her husband. I don’t know just fields weird. Any advice will be helpful. Am I overreacting?

On mobile! Wish I could end it the posts for grammar/formatting. Sorry everyone!

View Quoted Comment If the Best Man doesn’t acknowledge her as a girlfriend then I would say no. Men tend to claim what is theirs so it seems very causal. Now, if everyone else in your wedding party has a plus one, then I would extend the plus one.

View Quoted Comment It’s weird, he says he’s single yet they vacation together, she’s at his apartment all the time. An outsider would look at the situation and say yes they are dating but if he refuses to acknowledge her, then why should I?


I just really don’t want to have my manager hat on when planning my or attending my wedding.

Based on the fact they're fwb rather than an established couple, I would not invite her. Don't feel guilty about it either.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. I think you nailed it on the head! Do you think if you extended a plus one that he would invite her since he doesn’t acknowledge the relationship? Do others in your wedding party have plus ones?

View Quoted Comment He would invite her. Only people in my wedding party that have plus one are married and we are friends with both people in the couple.

View Quoted Comment Then I would use that precedent to extend the invitation only to him since they are not married.

Your wedding party traditionally gets a plus 1. He gets a Best Man and Guest. If it's not his girlfriend, he might not bring her.

Typically, the wedding party should get a plus one regardless since they’re in the wedding. You do not have to invite her by name since she’s not technically his girlfriend.

The BM is the male version of a "mistress" to this married woman, and he does not even acknowledge her as his girlfriend. Therefore, I would absolutely not invite her by name. What would her husband think?


I suppose you could give the BM a generic plus one. In your case, I prob wouldn't. Too much drama. Typically, I'd say it's a common courtesy to give the bridal party a plus one, but it's on the BM for sleeping with a married woman at work, having the gall to bring her to a wedding as his date, and claiming to be single while making no efforts to hide his longstanding affair. Talk about having your cake and eating it too. No need to play his game.

View Quoted Comment Well said!

That’s a tough situation. My FH has a friend who has been dating/sleeping with a woman he works with but refused to call her his GF until recently. We haven’t met her either so I was reluctant to invite her to our wedding. Now he’s making an effort to introduce her so IDK.

I say in your case I would leave it up to the Best Man to bring a plus one and would not send a separate invitation to her. That way the ball is in his court.

View Quoted Comment Yikes 😬
I would steer clear of that entire mess.
I don’t think you’re overreacting, SHE’S MARRIED. You don’t need the fallout drama from this landing on you. Plus, there’s the entire part of her being your employee. Alcohol and work don’t mix well. Plus things could come out and that just has bad idea all over it.

View Quoted Comment

Are their other people from your work attending and if so, does the Best Man know them? If so, then I would assume for her protection and his, he probably wouldn't invite her. And would she know other people at your wedding who know she's married? Again, these are all things I would assume she doesn't want getting out if she's "married" - unless she's legally separated and going through a divorce then it really shouldn't matter.

I think you should not invite her simply for the fact that she is your employee. I know at every one of my jobs there was some policy against fraternization between managers and employees. You could get in trouble at your job for inviting her.

I think it is always best to allow others to label their own relationships. In this case, it sounds like he has been clear that this woman is not his girlfriend. Therefore, this isn't a situation in which you are not excluding one half of a couple. By his definition they aren't one, so you're good to not invite her.