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Just Said Yes August 2022

Best Man Plus One

Julia, on July 25, 2022 at 11:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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My wedding is in one month. My Fiancé’s brother is his best man. He was married and recently got divorced in January. We can’t really afford to give everyone a plus one so when we originally were making a guest list, we decided that only people who had been dating for 1+ years would get a plus one. We didn’t give him a plus one since he recently was divorced and wasn’t dating anyone. He has now been causally dating a girl for the past month and he (and both of his parents) have asked for him to have a plus one. My immediate reaction was no since our rule was dating for a year. However, he is the best man and a VIP. Not quite sure what the wisest move would be here. I don’t really want a random person hanging out with us at the head table, even if they end up dating for a longer time and becoming part of the family. Everyone else is saying I should say yes. Should I just let him bring her?

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Latest activity by Jacks, on July 28, 2022 at 11:37 AM

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Rosebud · on July 25, 2022 at 11:45 PM
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Weddings can be tough especially after a marriage ending. As best man he s probably done a decent amount for your wedding and your partner, I d allow him to bring a date if he really wants too. Good luck!
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Dedicated December 2023
Scarlett · on July 26, 2022 at 1:03 AM
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I agree with the above comment. But it is your choice. Either way should be fine!
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Rockstar October 2023
Cece · on July 26, 2022 at 1:27 AM
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It’s customary to allow all wedding party members “plus ones” if they aren’t dating anyone.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 26, 2022 at 4:14 AM
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I would definitely invite the woman he's dating as a plus 1.
It's polite to invite the partner of anyone that identifies as being in a relationship, regardless of time together.
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Master July 2022
Imani · on July 26, 2022 at 6:07 AM
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Agree with everyone. I’d allow the plus one as well.
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Dedicated January 2023
Marshaya · on July 26, 2022 at 8:07 AM
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Yes I'll allow everyone to have a plus one.
Happy Planning
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on July 26, 2022 at 8:15 AM
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Agree with all above. If it is more comfortable, you can have a sweetheart table for just you and your FS. Your wedding party will sit with their partners/ dates. Fyi, she will not be in your wedding pictures.
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Dedicated December 2021
Skb · on July 26, 2022 at 8:25 AM
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Have you finalized your guest count for the caterers and venue ? If you have and are not comfortable inviting the girlfriend, then you can be honest and tell them that.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on July 27, 2022 at 10:40 AM
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I think it's pretty crappy not to allow siblings and bridal party members a plus one, so of course I think you should let him bring her. You don't have to include her in any photos.
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Just Said Yes May 2023
Margaret · on July 27, 2022 at 11:42 AM
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That is an absolute yes. This is your fiancée's brother, and if the brother/Best Man would like to bring a date (no matter how long they have been seeing each other) he should definitely get a plus one.
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Devoted May 2023
Ebony · on July 27, 2022 at 4:38 PM
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Hello:
I'm sorry but I would have to be devil's advocate on this one. I know how important and special the wedding is. Especially coming from a person who will be having about 15 people at her wedding, I wouldn't want him to bring someone I do not know as a plus one. Especially since you said he's casually dating and he's only been seeing her for a month. I'm sorry but if I was that woman I wouldn't even want to come to someone's wedding that I've only been speaking with for a month. I know how intimate a wedding is so I personally could not. Best man or not, unless he was seeing her for a few months (closer to the year mark) then I would consider other than that it would be a huge N.O for me. And it sucks that everyone doesn't view a wedding that way, even though it's your big day so many people still expect brides to be accommodating. But whatever you pick just make sure its what you want and not to please anyone else
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on July 27, 2022 at 11:09 PM
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Hello I do understand that you are in a corner a bit and you dont want to cause a problem but why your FMIL is making the decision. That is a decision for you and your FH to discuss but also he is your FH bestman and you dont want to have to be dealing with this nonsense so close to the wedding. I guess to let her come just to let this stress off of you. And to he back in your excited bubble that you are getting married in a month. I hope that it all goes well for you
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Dedicated September 2022
Laura · on July 28, 2022 at 9:10 AM
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It isn't typical to have dates sitting at the bridal party table, at least not at any of the weddings I've attended. If you can arrange it and don't want it to be awkward you could always have a sweetheart table. That's what we're doing that way people can sit with their spouse or partner.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 28, 2022 at 11:27 AM
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When there's a "head table" with the partners of the wedding party sitting at it too, it's called a "Kings Table". It's quite common in some areas. The Kings Table or the Sweetheart allow for wedding party members to sit with their dates, which is the polite thing to do.
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Dedicated September 2022
Laura · on July 28, 2022 at 11:29 AM
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I've never heard of that, that would be fun, but goodness some of those tables would be huge lol.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on July 28, 2022 at 11:37 AM
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Right?? The ones I've seen have been huge!
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Best Man Plus One

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