Best Man may not attend wedding due to new job

I think it really depends on the company, their handbook and PTO policies. Some give a certain amount of PTO annually others you have to accumulate hours based off the amount of hours you work. In some instances PTO isn't given until after probation (**** days on the job). He should speak with his supervisor/boss and see about getting the day(s) off. Is he willing to take the day off without pay? Did he let them know of this before he was hired or shortly after? Can make up hours during the week (a few hours here and there before or after the wedding?) Hopefully they are willing to work with him since this is a prior commitment.

When I know I have plans, I try to let my job know ASAP even if it was starting a new one. Obviously its too late for that since he already started. I would ask him to speak with his Boss and see if he can take at least one day off, especially if he doesn't have to travel far for the wedding. Maybe compromise - miss the rehearsal dinner or any pre-wedding events and just be there on the actual wedding day.

I think your fiancé needs to have a conversation about it and the best man needs to be transparent on the subject. He may have already put it on his boss' radar and is waiting to hear back. A lot will not only depend on the work policy, but it may also depend on what kind of boss he has as well

Every company is different with their policies (I run my company's hiring). We are very flexible, but to be honest I find it odd that he didn't set this precedent with his new job when he accepted?? It sounds like he most certainly knew about your wedding and it is very common when people are in the hiring process to say "I can start September 1st but just so you know I have a prior commitment the last weekend in September." Etc... He needs to just man up and talk to his boss and/or HR, your husband should push him to figure this out because obviously you guys need to know. I'm sure it's stressing him out as well and that he feels bad, but either way this is pretty simple conversation.

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Thanks, that's helpful to know. I would hope/think he'd be willing to take a non-paid day off. I understand its not ideal, but he's fortunate enough financially that it won't set him back. I don't think he has told his work yet or officially started his job. That's what's a little frustrating because it seems like he's not willing to try and is just setting us up for disappointment. I feel so bad because I can tell that my husband is really upset about his friend not being there. We are obviously so happy for his new career, but it is a huge letdown to not have him participate in our day.

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Thanks Lauren! That's a good perspective. I will suggest he talk to him again and see if he can encourage that conversation.

Usually if I already have something scheduled when getting a new job, I let them know about it and I've never had a job have an issue with a pre-planned thing. I would have the fiance talk to him again.

The guy should know how it works and make a decision now that he's been in the job for a little while. I think y'all need to give him a deadline to let you know one way or the other so you can make arrangements for someone else to take his place.