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Just Said Yes October 2019

Best man drama

Jennifer, on November 1, 2017 at 6:27 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 25

My fiancés best man is his best friend from childhood, and the closest thing to his brother. The problem is he doesn't care about anything. The brides from the other weddings I have been to always worried about him too. He already informed us he is throwing my fiancés bachelor party in MA where he...

My fiancés best man is his best friend from childhood, and the closest thing to his brother. The problem is he doesn't care about anything. The brides from the other weddings I have been to always worried about him too. He already informed us he is throwing my fiancés bachelor party in MA where he is from and his best man lives. We are in Ohio and that's 12 hours away. I said that is too far to expect people to travel NY is in the middle and better. I already expressed my worry to my fiancé but I don't know if he even knows what to do. He was making inappropriate racial jokes the last time I saw him and again I have a diverse family I worry about him doing it at my wedding. I don't know if I should talk to him or what. 2 years doesn't change someone that much. I don't want to be a bride that prohibits anything. I don't even have enough characters to explain it all. Any advice?

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25 Comments

  • Blair Waldorf
    Master October 2017
    Blair Waldorf ·
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    Telling you to chill the fuck out and that you don't get to plan his party is not judgmental. Trying to understand your backwards principles isn't either. We ask questions to get answers to better help you.

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  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
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    You wedding is still far off. FH had two "prospective groomsmen" that have already solved themselves by showing their true colors. FH is much less insightful about people's characters than I am, but I try to let him see for himself without trash talking his friends. I have said little things like "I don't think x is a a very good friend to you, they are more concerned with y then being there for you..." just to look out for FH, and sadly eventually he sees I am right. It is sad but I do think this is often the time in your life when you really weed through friends and see who the true ones are.

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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    All you can do is express your concerns about his behavior to your FH--regarding the wedding and his potential behavior. But beyond that, you can't control him or his actions.

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  • Mrs. Sitz
    Master July 2016
    Mrs. Sitz ·
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    Yup, this is something that your FH needs to deal with!

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  • Kourtney
    Beginner December 2017
    Kourtney ·
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    Ahh the wedding wire forum pattern...

    Bride: I want to do this. Thoughts?

    WW: Don't do that, and here's why. Here are alternatives and some advice

    Bride: OMG YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE SITUATION WHY ARE YOU JUDGING??? BE NICE!!

    WW: Omfg...

    • Reply

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