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mimitrue
Master January 2016

Best man and maid of honor hotel?

mimitrue, on August 17, 2015 at 3:18 PM Posted in Planning 0 22

For those of you with out of town best men or maids of honors, are you paying for their hotel? If so, how many nights are you paying for? Not sure what the general rule is about that

22 Comments

Latest activity by mimitrue, on August 18, 2015 at 10:14 AM
  • UofMichiganGirl
    Expert October 2015
    UofMichiganGirl ·
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    Nope. I don't know what else to say. I've never heard of this.

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  • Sarah195
    Master October 2016
    Sarah195 ·
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    I don't think it's required that you pay for it but if you can afford it it's a nice gesture.

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  • Jeanne
    Master August 2015
    Jeanne ·
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    I've never heard of this. It's nice if you want to but not at all required.

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  • Princess Consuela
    Master November 2015
    Princess Consuela ·
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    We're not paying for anyone's rooms. My MOH is from out of town, and she's staying with me in the bridal suite the night before. Some of the BMs, including best man, are getting rooms together. My MOH is getting her own room the night of the wedding (I told her sorry, she's not welcome in the bridal suite that night Smiley smile )

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  • Delisa
    Master July 2016
    Delisa ·
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    I'm not paying for MOH and BM hotels. I do think its a nice gesture if you can afford it. I also think its nice if you know someone is having financial difficulties.

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  • S
    VIP July 2015
    sdgher ·
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    My MOH is OTT and paying for her own room for the night of the wedding. It is an expected expense when they accept the honor (just like the dress).

    I am having her stay in my suite for free the night before though.

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  • N
    Master November 2015
    NenaBear ·
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    We're not paying for the entire stay. My MOH will have a room for the night before and the night of. I will be staying with her the night before our wedding. So, we will share the cost for that night. I don't believe it is necessary to pay for their rooms, but if you can I'm sure they would appreciate it.

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  • Ebony502
    Super November 2015
    Ebony502 ·
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    I'd like my BM's to spend the night before the wedding in the hotel with me but we all can't fit in my suite so I think we (FH and I) will pay for an additional room so we can be together. They have done so much for me and I'd feel weird asking them to pay for anything else.

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  • EatKnitRun
    Master May 2016
    EatKnitRun ·
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    According to Emily Post, you are supposed to pay for the bridal party's lodging. We are not. I've also never been extended this courtesy as a bridesmaid.

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  • Chantel
    Master July 2016
    Chantel ·
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    You don't have to pay for the room. I think giving a few hotel options is nice though.

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  • FutureMrsBrbr
    Master September 2016
    FutureMrsBrbr ·
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    We aren't paying for their rooms. If you have the budget for it, that would be a very nice gesture though.

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  • Amberrose
    VIP May 2016
    Amberrose ·
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    Our venue is a bed and breakfast and includes rooms we are putting the wedding party in. I am not covering anyone's rooms that are not staying there.

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  • MrsTex
    Super October 2015
    MrsTex ·
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    Nope. Don't put even more costs on yourselves if you don't need to.

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  • -
    VIP February 2017
    -- ·
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    We're paying for my sister's lodging (MOH) simply because her train journey is ridiculously expensive and we didn't want her to incur that extra cost. (WP don't buy their outfits here, that's the responsibility of the couple - but the train journey alone is double the price of a pricey BM dress in this city so couldn't, in good conscience, not pay for her hotel.). It'll be for the night before and night of the wedding (we've also extended the offer of paying the "doggie rates" so they could avoid having to get a pet sitter.)

    Never heard of it being a done thing - might be regional.

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  • Rebecca
    VIP June 2015
    Rebecca ·
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    Agree, no requirement to pay - but this brings up an often-undiscussed topic: when you ask someone to be your MOH or BM, or any GM or BM, you need to talk to them about your plans and give them a good idea of what costs will be involved, so they have the option to decline if they can't do it OR you can come to a decision that you will offset some of the cost, so they can.

    Assuming you are asking someone to be your MOH, I'd presume you already discussed your vision for the wedding with them, they should know it will be a destination wedding, or if they have to travel or whatever... in that case, it shouldn't be a surprise that they have to pay for a hotel, and they would know this when they said 'yes'. But I'm sure there are brides here who had bad experiences with in-the-dark bridal party members who felt mislead or cheated having to pay their own way...

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  • Debra
    VIP May 2016
    Debra ·
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    FH and I will get our wedding suite free if we have at least 20 nights paid by our wedding guests. We already have that many reserved, thank goodness they plan in advance! We had budgeted for our suite and are now using the extra funds to pay for two extra standard rooms - for whomever needs it (intoxicated guests that should not drive home, etc.).

    We are covering a room for FMIL, but not for any of the BP even if they are from OOT.

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  • E&J
    VIP October 2015
    E&J ·
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    Nope, not paying for this. The 2 OOT 2 BMs will be staying with FH and I at our house for a couple days leading up to the wedding, and then after the rehearsal dinner, the 3 BMs and I split the cost of 2 adjacent hotel rooms. They'll stay there after the wedding as well, and one girl will have the room to herself that night as I'll be staying in the bridal suite with FH (H at that point).

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  • Kelli C
    Super October 2015
    Kelli C ·
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    We got the guest houses on campus (getting married at the chapel at the University where we met) for our bridal party and families. Our friends did the exact same thing last year and it helped so much by having everyone and all their stuff in one place in the morning while getting ready. Not all the bridal party has to stay in the house if they don't want to, but it's offered to them. It's not glamorous, but it isn't a bad deal for us. Separate hotel rooms would have cost more and I would not have offered that.

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  • Lawmom
    VIP June 2015
    Lawmom ·
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    We did not but my girls had the option of staying in the suite the night before.

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  • Mrs. (future) Doraska
    Dedicated July 2016
    Mrs. (future) Doraska ·
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    We are getting married in my hometown and will get ready at our own houses- it's more relaxing to me than a hotel. The bridal parties will also stay with us the night before and the night of my parents are opening up our cabin (20 min. drive) to my bridal party/college friends etc. to give them an option other than a hotel. Especially since all of us will be traveling to multiple weddings this summer, I'm trying to be cost efficient for them where I can without inconveniencing myself.

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