Best friend with anxiety/depression as bridesmaid

I think she's trying to let you know very subtly that she isn't comfortable being a bridesmaid. If you want to have her as an "honorary" and that's what she wants, I say go for it. She can still be one of your best friends without being a bridesmaid, it sounds like it will be tough for her. It's also really hard to know how anxious you will be on a given day in a given circumstance, maybe she'll feel great and want to be in pictures, maybe she won't want to do anything. I would just have an honest conversation and ask what she is most comfortable with and not have expectations.

I think being her best friend, and being compassionate and respectful of her issues with anxiety is more important than her being a bridesmaid. It would be great if it wasn't an issue, but it sounds like it is, and she would be a lot more comfortable being a guest.

You can still take photos with her, as she is your best friend. But it's not right to insist that she be a bridesmaid, when everything about that role sounds like it will make her anxiety worse. It also sounds like she's trying to tell you in a gentle way, because she doesn't want to hurt you. Not everyone can just deal with it. Be her friend. Tell her you don't want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable in any way. Tell her you will understand if she decides she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid. As your best friend, she can be involved in other ways, and still support you.

I think her being included if her being there the day of. I think what matters is that she is there the day of you wedding in support even if she is not acting as a bridesmaid. Have her attend the bachelorette party and bridal shower for sure. Sadly her mental situation is nothing she can control. I think it would feel worse if she were not there at all. Could she sit in the front row with your family as a special nod to her?

I agree with pp that it would be more appropriate for her to attend as a guest. She has made it clear that she cannot do some of the basic elements of being a bridesmaid (walking down the aisle and being seated at the front of the church). She does not want to tell you no because she doesn't want to feel like she has let you down, but read between the lines....she is saying no.

Not only will this be best for her, as she's stating what she wants, but it'll also be best for you. In the least harsh way this can sound, you are so thoughtful for finding ways to accommodate your friend, but you also don't want to spend your wedding day worrying instead of being present in the moment and enjoying it with your new spouse. Make a point to snap a few professional pics with her, invite her to the showers and bachelorette (whether or not she attends, she will appreciate the gesture), and drop the bridesmaid subject. Accepting her answer and moving on from it will be the best for your relationship as there will be no residual pressure or guilt. Good luck!!

I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her be an honorary bridesmaid. It doesn't sound like she is reasonably able to stand up with you and that's okay. Just include her in another way and let her know that you love her regardless.