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Just Said Yes September 2018

“Best friend” my moh and i was to be hers got married without telling me

Shawna, on May 28, 2019 at 10:09 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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So, I had a best friend of 25 years who was my MOH last September. She got engaged a couple of months ago after meeting a man online and asked me to be her MOH and only person to stand up with her at her wedding. She met this guy 5 months ago and I’ve only seen her at her moms funeral and when I visited her in the hospital since.
She mentioned to me 2 weeks ago that he left his job abruptly for another at which he couldn’t afford the health insurance for his kids so “they may be hitching their wagons by the end of the month” that was the last I heard from her until she text me the night of her wedding and said they tied the knot. She posted all the pics on FB with her dad and her other friend she’s had for years there. She never told me, I wasn’t even invited and I feel heartbroken!!! I hope I am not over reacting but I have no wish to speak to her again. She told my husband and I that we were the only ones there for her during her moms passing, this other friend never even reached out to ask how she was doing. We had an open door to her to come whenever she needed a break to to not feel alone. It just feels like such a betrayal and I can’t get the knife out of my back
am I over reacting?

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Clíodhna, on May 29, 2019 at 9:16 AM

VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 28, 2019 at 10:12 AM
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I understand why you feel upset. You're best bet is to talk to her about it. Find out why you weren't invited before ending the friendship entirely.
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Devoted July 2019
Martelle · on May 28, 2019 at 10:20 AM
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I honestly just had some friends that eloped while on vacation and I was also a bit heart broken about it. I know they had been talking about getting eloped with a quick court house wedding, but I also asked if and when they decide, could I be a witness? These are two very good friends of mine and I also felt a bit betrayed when they sent me a snap of all things saying "well, this is going down" with a pic of their wedding license. These two friends of ours are in my FH's and I's wedding this summer, but we feel a bit hurt that we were left out/not informed of theirs.
My advice to you is to just let it go. Send them a card of congratulations and still be there for your friend. It does feel like a stab in the back, but this was their decision and maybe they wanted it to be quick and low key. I hear ya 100% on the hurt feeling, we let them know we were super bummed that we were informed by snap chat of all things....but we said our peace, sent them a congratulations card and are hoping their family will throw them something so we can celebrate with them at that time....if not, well, we both just move on as married couple friends.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on May 28, 2019 at 11:45 AM
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It seems like they eloped for reasons concerning health insurance, so please try to not hold a grudge! I get what you're saying, though - I'd be irked too. But there were circumstances beyond their control that played into their decision. Celebrate with your friend and be happy for her
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2030
Clíodhna · on May 29, 2019 at 9:16 AM
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Hi there Shawna
Firstly, welcome to the WeddingWire community.
I’m sorry this situation has left you feeling upset I can completely see why you’re heartbroken since it seems like another friend might have been there but you were not.
From reading your message, I don’t believe your friend intentionally set out to hurt you with her elopement. As she asked you to be her MOH, I’m assuming she was planning a ‘traditional wedding’, however, sometimes life happens and plans change. Your friend and her spouse made a personal decision and had to do what was best for them.
The best advice I have for you going forward if you want to maintain the friendship is trying your best to let it go. Congratulate your friends and celebrate her marriage with her.
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