Best Friend Drama

My question to you is do you want your best friend's mom at the wedding? You mention that she practically invited herself to the wedding - does that mean you have no intention of inviting her?

If you want her there, then your fiance's best friend will have to accept it as is, but if you don't want her there or don't plan on inviting her, then you need to let her know this (gently) before she gets more carried away.

The main question is: is she a must have guest or a nice to have?

View Quoted Comment We thought about inviting her but ultimately decided not to. Then she made a comment about attending our wedding, which made me second guess our decision. I agree with you though - someone is going to have to deal with it as is. Just depends on who we choose to appease

View Quoted Comment She would be a “nice to have” guest. I think it would be more disappointing to her than us if she didn’t attend. Though we definitely wouldn’t have minded having her at the wedding if not for our situation

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For me personally, if I were in your shoes, I would be inviting her because she sounds close enough to make the guest list if you can afford it, and clearly given her note about attending your wedding, it sounds like that is how she sees it too.

I personally don't see any issue in having both attend (fiance's best friend is a grown adult after all and can handle it I am sure) but it really comes down to whether you actually want to invite this woman. If you have no intention of inviting her generally then let her know this next time she mentions the wedding because otherwise she will continue to think she is invited.

View Quoted Comment You’re right. They are both adults and should be able to handle themselves for a few hours. I think it would be nice to have her and hopefully everyone can just get along or generally avoid each other lol. Thank you so much for your two cents

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I agree with this!

I think you have to consider your own relationship with her aside from your fiance's best friend's feelings. If there was not drama there would she be invited since she is your best friend's mom and she's been a part of your life for a long time, and also your co-worker? I agree with previous poster that they're adults and will be get through it. This will be a day to celebrate you and hopefully that's what everyone will be there for.

View Quoted Comment I agree - that’s a lot of connection there. She’s been in your life for a considerable length of time and you have a couple layers of connection.
However, if invites have already gone out, and you never intended to invite her, then stay by that.
She is going to be hurt, of course, because she considers herself close to you - so I would expect a sort of cooling off of her towards you when she realizes that she put more weight to the relationship than you did. But that happens and she’s and adult and will adjust.

How does your friend feel about her mom not being invited?

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I agree! That makes a lot of sense.

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Very true regarding the layers of connection. Luckily we haven't gotten to the invitation stage yet, so we still have time to decide. Like some of the commenters have mentioned, hopefully everyone can just be an adult and get over it!

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We haven't spoken to my friend about it yet, but she probably would understand why I didn't. Though it would be pretty awkward talking about it either way because we are very non-confrontational people. Right now I am leaning towards just going ahead and inviting her based on the other comments here

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Okay just was curious if she would be upset.

View Quoted Comment If there's still time, you never know what could happen between now and then. Everything could be cooled off. They could reconciliate, find new loves, or even get back together.