Being told that a newborn *will* be at my wedding.

She’s two weeks old. She has to eat every 2 hours. You have no idea how unreasonable you’re being. Completely out of line expecting. Seriously.

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We aren't demanding that the mother be at the wedding--we completely understand how she will probably be feeling and the newborn's needs. Another note--if they opened up the conversation as "let's figure it out together" instead of "THIS is what is happening no conversation" we would've discussed options. Like there is a bridal suite--maybe mom and baby hang out for 15 mins there during the ceremony. Maybe they bring her mom to hang out in the bridal suite with the baby while she attends the ceremony. Just having a conversation with us instead of telling us what would happen at our wedding would've been helpful.

I am frustrated to the moon and back, but I'm not a bridezilla. I'm open to figuring it out with them but it's the line in the sand that makes me upset, and both of our therapists advised on holding firm as this will set a precedent on how familial boundaries may be crossed in the future.

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Then the appropriate course of action would be for the SIL to explain that to the bride (in person or over the phone) and ask for an exception. Telling the bride her uninvited baby will be coming is extremely poor form.

My baby niece cried during my ceremony. Her mom stepped out with her. No big deal, didn't ruin the day. What would have ruined the day is if my sister wasn't there. Tiny babies need to be with their parents. So if you're not going to make an exception just expect that mom of baby isn't going to be there. And if you're fine with that, you're fine with that. But it's going to cause long-term friction down the line most likely.

View Quoted Comment Wow, your response is irritating in the extreme. Entitlement much? Is anyone expected to care about your child and go out of the way for it besides you? An invitation is not a summons. There is someone else with feelings and emotions at the other end of the line. Be reasonable yourself.

View Quoted Comment Please don’t let anyone tell you you’re being ridiculous. The right thing ANY mother should do is reach out and ask for an exception. And if the answer is no, gracefully bow out. PERIOD. Every mothers priorities DOES. NOT. HAVE. TO. BE. EVERYONE. ELSES. PRIORITY. Periodtttttt


Why don’t mothers get this is their freaking head? Do they not remember the stress and hardship of planning their own weddings?
Anyways, op, since you cannot control your FSIL and FMIL, I would recommend telling them (with you FH as a United front) why you were hoping for no kids in the first place. Tell them your concerns regarding kids, but magnanimously allow it if you feel like you can but just be clear why there were no kids in the list in the first place. See where their head is at after that talk.
If they don’t “get it” then just start playing baby wailing noises randomly when they open their mouths to talk. Bc you know, babies are unpredictable, even when they’re technically sleeping for 20 hours - eyeroll.

First off, congratulations! As a mom, it’s stressful to plan to have a baby at a social gathering/event. If the baby will be two weeks old then they will need their mom close by for feedings and general care. It’s a good thing family will be there because that means she will have extra help. If you say no to infants being there then you would risk those people not coming at all because they need their child close by due to the young age. I would say no kids but have exceptions for the ones with babies. Most people are courteous and know when to step out if baby is fussy. Plus they will probably not stay the whole time. Hope this helps!