Becoming Anxious Too Early

I was engaged May 26, 2019. I wanted to get married in February 2020 and everyone kept telling me I was crazy to plan a wedding in such short time. Well guess what, I had everything planned and set and ready to go by January, all my contracts signed, vendors lined up and decisions made and I would have been more than prepared for a February date. Well, I listened to everyone else and picked a May 1st date. Then here comes COVID! My wedding was postponed to September 2020 and now we are looking at a second postponement due to all the restrictions in place. Had I gone with my own thoughts and decisions I would have had the wedding of my dreams in February and be happily married now. Instead I am extremely stressed out and sad and my wedding will not be the same. SO I say, do what YOU want! It's your wedding and you should do whatever makes you happy. Be excited girl!

I love and appreciate you ladies!!! Thank you for all the encouraging words and sharing your stories!!

I think that’s almost late to be planning! We’ve had to hit go on planning about two months ago for our wedding next May. With covid, all the weddings have been postponed and also the regular weddings planned for next year is making availability of vendors tough!!

They’re being ridiculous, it’s not to early at all! Do whatever makes you happy because it’s your big day and it’s all so exciting!

My wedding is in Sept of next year and it's 70% planned. Putting things to the last minute makes me nervous.

I don’t think you can ever plan to early. I personally have been told the same thing but I work best with planning ahead. I almost have mostly everything planned and I’m not getting married until August 2021!

It is never too early to plan things involving only you and FI, and decisions about vendors , supplies to buy, menus and invitations and music, all that stuff is great to have done ASAP. It is too early to plan things that involve bridal party, or more that skeleton decisions about things like an RD. Too dependent on things you do not know yet. Except if they have volunteered to work on a shower or other party ( bridal luncheon instead, or bachelorette) it is too early to expect others to start planning those things. First, they initiate those things, and don't until the wedding is closer, much of the time. But as they are small events that happen in the last 3 months or so, they can usually be planned in weeks. And to avoid costly alterations, several hundred, on a dress that usually costs $100-300 to begin with, bridesmaids dresses are not chosen til fifth or sixth month, or ordered until around the 4th month. They only take 2 weeks to 10 to come in. And some people chage 2 sides with a 15+20 pound weight gain or loss. Gain means a new dress. Loss, alterations. And it is not til the last 4-5 months til you can be sure no unexpected pregnancy would be a problem with a dress purchased much earlier. I have been in many bridal parties. Some people are by nature helpful and eager to volunteer, and some are not. That is a personality trait, and those who have not done weddings and are excited, and naturally helpful people, will be right there for up to 9 months or a year. But in almost evey bridal party I have been in, or done gowns ir parties for ( but not BM or MOH) , around 5-6 months out, people perk up and get interested. Time to pay for and order a dress at 4 months, selecting before then, people do with little prompting. Even lifelong procrastinators who put things off til 3 months so they have to pay rush delivery, still get the dress. Unless there is a fight about something else, and BM quits, in well over a hundred bridal parties, everyone has always done everything in time for the wedding. Given the choice, you have the dress and be groomed and ready by wedding day, they all are.
But observation of otgers and experience myself, lots of BM and MOH who give a budget when asked, I can afford this much, do not expect to actually spend it til the last 4-6 months. And the greatest single source of BM quitting, or growing bad feelings with bride so the friendships end at the wedding, is brides ( or MOB or hired coordinators) pushing people to get dresses, hand over deposits for hair and makeup, or plan parties, way ahead of time needed. And read on Wedding Wire. Bride complaining at 10 months, I want to drop my MOH or BM. I have been after them to buy dresses or pay or plan my parties for months, and they are not all doing it. From the other side? BM or MOH angry, she nags and reminds and sends memos. I have no time or money now. I will have time and money the last 4-5 months. Why does bride hound me? Or, where does bride get off planning her vacation bachelorette and expecting us to pay more than we are paying for our dresses? She should not plan her parties. Rude. ... And all it really boils down to is for brides to not require things of bp too early. But usually, if you have chosen true friends and not people you think you must, they will kick in. And by the time they do, you will have the entire ceremony and receptions and guest list and invitations and music and other guest stuff done. Or mostly planned. Try not to let otgers discourage you. Unlike folks trying to plan at 30 months, told too soon, you are in the right time frame,9-15 months, for doing anything that does not involve BP. Be excited, and organized. Do what you can for your wedding, and have free time to do dresses, makeup, parties, and BM stuff the last months. If they are dressing alike, you can get color choices done, so you can do flowers etc. Just not tryons, or ordering, yet.

You definitely aren't too early for a December wedding! Just keep doing your thing. Although I ultimately postponed my July wedding, we had everything locked down super early in anticipation that we could just glide through the final months up to the wedding without any stress. Well now I am just super prepared for a wedding that is in about a year!

View Quoted Comment YES! A bride after my own heart! I’m all about a sale. And storage is the main thing keeping me from buying certain things yet.

I do understand why some people think that way. There have been a few things that I’ve had to tell myself to hold my horses on (then my inner 2yo voice responds “No, Lou hold lou horses” But I digress). As far as getting things squared away, like someone else said, if you have the money now and the place to store it AND you’ll remember where it’s at & that you have it, go ahead and get it. If it’s something that involves someone else and their wallet/budget, try to make yourself be patient. We had bridesmaid dresses picked out in March, but I told my ladies to let me know when they were ready to purchase them.