Bar at Wedding Dilemma

I would vote for a cash bar in this case! My fiancé and I are both 24 and want to drink at our wedding so we’re going with an open bar but it is SO pricey! If I wasn’t 21 no way would I be paying for that haha. I don’t think it’s too uncommon to go with the cash bar, or you could alternatively do wine and beer only since I know they can be more reasonably priced.

I would definitely include alcohol. You have to host your guests and if body sides like to drink and it’s something you can afford I would offer it. As pp stated wine and beer only bars are a lot cheaper, so I would look into it.

I personally would never go the route of cash bar. It is mostly seen as poor taste and not properly hosting your guests (because guests should never have to open their wallet at your event). I would inquire about a beer and wine bar- it’s much cheaper than an open bar

As a guest, I would prefer no bar, especially if you don’t drink and it’s out of your budget. It’s never polite to ask your guests to pay for their own food and drinks. Not everyone likes beer and wine which people say is the “only” budget option and completely disregard other ideas. Talk to both sets of parents and see what they suggest for your situation.

If you want to be a "good" host, you need to ensure you are catering to your guests' needs above your own because you are inviting and hosting them at your wedding. You may not be drinkers yourselves but if the majority of your guests do drink, chances are there will be an expectation of alcohol and disappointment if there isn't any.

Personally, I would advocate for having at least a basic alcohol package as I think food and beverages should be a high priority item in the budget - I disagree with PPs suggestion of a cash bar because guests should not be required to open their wallets at a wedding.

In any event, you know your crowd better than we do so I would suggest you let that dictate what the best decision in this circumstance would be.

Not to be too preachy, but it is your job as a host to provide adequate food and drinks for your guests. It isn’t really about your personal preferences - and it sounds like your crowd may expect alcohol as an option…. You’ll see on here TONS of different opinions on what is acceptable, but it really comes down to the social norms in your circle. Since you haven’t been to weddings as an adult, it seems like your best bet is to ask friends and family their thoughts on the different options and make your decision from there. A cash bar, beer/wine only, or signature drink may be a great compromise!

You could do beer and wine on y’all and then cash for any liquor to kind of split it down the middle and have some sort of compromise! OR have signature cocktails available on your dime and anything else be cash. If your venue allows it, I’ve seen people have stock the bar parties and use those gifts as the alcohol for the wedding

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. Basic bar with 1 type of beer, red and white wine, and 1 liquor with mixers.

I definitely would include something - even if it is a basic bar or even beer/wine. Especially since both families are drinkers

I would do beer and wine options and what my sisters did at their weddings is after a certain amount (as an example once $500 worth of alcohol was consumed) then guests had to pay for their own drinks. What we are planning on doing is buying a certain amount of alcohol and once the alcohol is gone we will have soda and water as options.

I’d offer beer and wine. Definitely not a cash bar and maybe consider a daytime wedding if you’re going the dry route.

I definitely agree with the others that it sounds like there is an expectation that something will be provided for them, and you will need to do so, if you intend to be a decent host.

Here, it is most common to have a drinks package with beer, wine and sparkling, maybe a cider, and possibly if it's a more premier package, a signature cocktail. But most packages would be just beer, and the various types of wine. It is quite uncommon, I would say, to provide spirits, and most venues tend not to immediately jump to serving a full bar due to our responsible service of alcohol laws.

Some weddings I've been to have got around this by having a bottle of the most popular spirit on each table.

I think it's tacky and inappropriate to have a cash bar. On the other end of the spectrum though, I find it a little rude (especially to a young couple who can't afford much) to say it has to be an open bar or nothing. A beer and wine package is perfectly acceptable in my opinion - you are offering your guests a variety of options, and if they don't like any of those, they can always stick with soft drinks. As a guest, you are entitled to expect a reasonable variety. But that doesn't mean you're entitled to anything at all that you want, to the host's financial disadvantage.

View Quoted Comment Yes. Even if you’re not legal. It’s still déclassé to have a cash bar, ALWAYS. Your guests are being invited to a party. Not a fundraiser.

Yep in agreement with everyone else, except the cash bar post. If you're having trouble with the budget the easiest thing to do is lower the guest count. Also serving beer and wine usually ends up cheaper, and is a perfectly acceptable option. A dry wedding is also not against etiquette, but that would be a "know your crowd" situation.

I've been to dry weddings. It definitely changes the whole mood of the night, but was still a very nice occasion. I would suggest either an open bar or a dry wedding.

Serving beer and wine only is a great way to keep bar costs low and manageable

My sister and BIL don't drink, and they still had an open bar at their wedding. If you could, maybe try to get an idea ahead of time to see just how much drinking there might be and go from there. Maybe you could get a smaller bar package that won't be open as long. Otherwise, I think it might be better to just have it.

You're still expected to host your guests properly but I would not expect more than beer and wine from anyone, much less from an underage couple. If your parents are helping or have offered, this is the perfect area to hand over from them.

Alternatively, a dry wedding could work but I'd avoid late evening/party atmosphere in this case.