BAD MOH! MAID OF HONOUR HELP??

I hear you, trust me. I have no advice because no one in my bridal party has done anything for me. They said yes and I have not heard much from them since.

CONTINUED: I tell her I also found the bridesmaids dresses and that I picked coral she then responds "THATS TOO BAD BECAUSE TEAL WOULD HAVE BEEN WAY NICER"

we also decided that we would do a destination wedding so she said I dont deserve to have a bridal shower or bachelorette since I'm making people pay for a trip down south. She's negative about everything. I finally told her tahts she isnt helping or being supportive and she snapped at me calling me every name in the book as well as threatening to beat me up. My granndfather who I loved more than anything passed away a couple months ago and its benn very hard and she knows that. She had the nerve to say "You're grandfather must be looking down on you and be ashamed of how selfish you are"

I dont know what to do!!

Is she single? A lot of woman get jealous or even feel replaced! Maybe have a girls day with no wedding talk.?

Im sorry Shannon. How awful! I got into a huge fight with my sister and ended up having my BFF for MOH since we were little. Its hard because I am finding that weddings brings out the worst in people sometimes. I hope it all works out. If I can give you advice, go to her and tell her how you are feeling without being angry. Try to make it work, because there is a reason she is your bff for 15 years. Hope it works out for you!!!

Im in the same boat Sarah is. Two of my girls have gotten their dresses, and thats about it. No offers to help, no questions on how its going, no nothing.

Okay, last comment your MOH said to you, made my jaw drop. Wow.

I had that problem so I just picked the one BM that was ACTUALLY HELPING and kicked the rest out...My sister was mad at me for doing what I wanted and my other friend was too busy with school so I just told them they were still important but this was the best thing for me...might consider doing that it helped tremendously!

I agree with Ashleigh! That was UNCALLED FOR!

Oh Shannon im sorry u have to deal with that. I probably wouldve smacked her if she said that about my grandfather. @PurpleHairLover has a good point, maybe she's jealous or feeling threatened she will lose u (not realizing her behaviour can contribute to her losing u). I would try to have a day without wedding discussions but also ur definitely gonna need to talk to her about this. U dont want to lose a 15yr friendship. Good luck, i'll be thinking of u

This is your best friend and she's threatening to beat you up? I don't know about these boards some times but a lot of women here have a ton of $h!tty friends. Maybe that's why I don't have a ton of females in my life, because I wouldn't accept this type of treatment. Let her know if it's too stressful to be a MOH, you'd be happy to just let her be a BM. Explain how you have different expectations for her and say it's probably for the better. If you can get her in to just a BM role, don't talk to her about a damn thing when it comes to your wedding. Just hopefully go back to whatever you had friendship-wise before the whole engagement happened.

Shannon, I'm sorry that your MOH is acting that way. I would get rid of her! If she doesn't want to attend dress appointments, etc. she shouldn't get mad that you have gone without her! She shouldn't be second guessing you and if she doesn't like something, she should keep her opinions to herself (unless you ask for her opinion!)

I'm sorry to hear that some of you also have unhelpful BMs. My other bridesmaids are great just her I have a problem with. If your BM are offering to help what I do is email them and ask opinions or plan girl brunches and we have fun. As for MOH she's not single but she is with someone very young who won't be ready to marry soon. She still lives at home maybe she feels sad that her life hasn't advanced as fast but she can't bring it out on me. I've sat her down a month ago to tell her calmly that I didn't feel she was helping and she apologized and said she would be better and then we hung out had a girl day and everything was fine and then she missed a bridal party meet (she told me she worked but I saw on FB she went to her cottage) and then she missed the dress shopping. So I told her this week that she isn't helping and not being a good MOH and she said she's done nothing wrong and I'm selfish. And after her threatening comments I don't even want her at the wedding anymore because she doesn't think she was wrong

I am so so sorry!!!! My former MOH was very similar. I dismissed her from her title and we are no longer friends. I know exactly how you feel and it is very hurtful.

Missing events is one thing, threatening you is another. I would remove her from the BP and possibly as a friend. Hard as it will be, you will be happier in long run without a toxic person around to insult you and put you down at every turn.

So sorry about this. Honestly she is probably jealous of everything and is being a brat. I had a very similar situation. My BFF of 10 years started acting like a brat and putting everything down about my day. I called her out on it and she dropped out of the wedding for multiple reasons. It was a huge relief, and I'm so happy because the rest of the girls are beyond supportive. Honestly you need to tell this girl how you feel. There is no reason for you to put up with someone like that for the next nine months! This is your special time, and you should only be surrounded by people who support you and are there for you. A BM should wear a paper bag if you tell her to and should be there to support you in your marriage and on your day. You do not want a Negative Nancy there on your wedding day. Tell her how you feel -- it sounds like you need to tell her she's out and tell her how this should be a happy, not stressful time for you. Honestly she may be relieved, too.

Drop her like a rock. The things she has said and the things she's done make it clear that she is not your friend. It's unfortunate, especially given that she's been in your life so long....but I'm a firm believer in not holding on to someone just because you used to be close. I'm sorry you are hurting. But she sounds toxic and you don't need the stress.

If she threatened to beat you up, why are you still friends with her? Make new friends. Promote another BM to MOH or don't have one.

Kick the fuck out!