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Just Said Yes March 2020

Bad Bridesmaid

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Lindsey, on January 10, 2020 at 11:56 AM

One of my bridesmaids just told me that she is going to a concert, that is in a city three hours away, the night before my wedding. This means that she will miss the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner, which she doesn't seem to care about. Also i am having an early wedding so the bridesmaids have to be at the venue at 8am to get ready. So, she would either have to leave after the concert and get in at like 2-3am, or leave from the city she is in at like 5am. Advice?

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Dedicated July 2020
N · on January 11, 2020 at 9:13 AM
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I get all the people saying a rehearsal isn’t required. But I disagree about required attendance for the bridal party at events the weekend of the wedding and any rehearsal. Especially since she said it’s a rehearsal dinner, which is to celebrate but also thank those being in the bridal party—at least that’s how I’m planning it.

While lots of people know how to walk in a wedding and how it works or have been to events where it’s just a party, the dinner can be just as important as there may be speeches and other events to celebrate the occasion. If the BM was informed about the timing of the rehearsal in advance then I’d be really offended she’d make a choice to see a concert than celebrate my wedding.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on January 11, 2020 at 4:19 PM
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The point of the rehearsal dinner is to thank the people at the rehearsal for attending. One can decline a thank you gift offered to them.
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Super November 2021
Alejandra · on January 12, 2020 at 9:55 AM
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I agree! I’d feel super annoyed if they couldn’t make it the night before the wedding. A couple days before? Maybe I couldn’t understand that. But the day before?
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 13, 2020 at 12:11 PM
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I just would accept her poor decision & move on. Don't focus on it, focus on the other people at the rehearsal dinner!
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Master September 2019
Sherry · on January 13, 2020 at 2:54 PM
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Sounds like she had already made up her mind. There really isn't anything you can do about it other then let it upset you. If it is really important to you that she be part of your BP, then you will just have to make sure she knows when to be there and trust that she will show up ready to go.
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