Backyard weddings

You guys are all right. We would need a tent and someone to handle the day for us.. I just hate accepting that it wont work since it would be free. Not free technically because of rental fees, but really the tables and chairs are not a lot- under 500 and I'm on the high side with that. I'm not even sure what tents would cost, but I imagine theyre pricey.

Unless I want an uncoordinated mess though, it probably wouldn't work, especially since we don't really have people to put in charge of cutting the cake, or being in charge of music and handling common things like a broken dish. In my head it comes together but in reality its a lot more work and rentals than I'm realizing

No waitstaff? Bringing in your own china? Do you know how much china you need for 50 people? And that it is going to get dirty? And it needs to be transported and washed.

And as far as controlling your own flow on the day? That will not happen. At some point, you'll want to be the bride, as it should be!

It's a beautiful site, but my best suggestion, if you're going to go through with this, is that you find a good planner. Because the scenario as you are describing it has a lot of holes and they ned to be addressed and priced out before you make a logical decision.

Again, I don't want to say, "screw it, it won't work"...it absolutely could but you need more facts before you make a decision.

Good luck!

Oh that is gorgeous!

She does have a long driveway and a space that could be used to cars, I'm not sure realistically how many and that would have to be looked into, but also the roadway near her house could be used and doesnt get any traffic since there are no houses back there and its a dead end.

I was thinking no waitstaff because we'd be doing a buffet style and would have an area for people to put their dishes when they were finished. I didn't think that was an uncommon thing nor would I think it would have been an issue. We're going for a relaxed and laid back feel. I mean its going to be in someones yard, I wouldn't think we would need a waiter. Theyd have their plates and would go up and get food as they wished and go sit back down with it. Same with drinks, we'd have tables with dispensers of premade cocktails, bottles of beer, and cans of soda in barrels/tubs of some sort for them to choose from. I've already started collecting mismatched china and have about 20 dinner plates and 30 salad plates and probably around 25 desert plates for the cake (or whatever we end up going with, we might not even do a traditional cake and just opt for cupcakes or pies).

I really thought that was realistic.. I'm not attempting to have an elegant ball room wedding here, so I didn't see an issue with no waitstaff for dinner. I was envisioning more of a family eating environment where people serve themselves and attend to their own beverages. Like a bbq but without the bbq food.

I dont expect people to think that would be odd either.. Is it though? I've never been to a backyard wedding so I'm really at a loss for how it should actually be done if thats not acceptable. The people that would be coming are mainly family, and a few extremely close friends and thats it- no co-workers or friends of a friend who we met a few times. Just people who we know and who would be 100% ok with a relaxed gathering like this.

You have to be careful with the bar situation like you've described since it leaves you open to liability.

Honestly, what you're describing sounds like a backyard graduation party. I don't know you or your style, but it doesn't sound ideal for a wedding. If you choose to do this for your wedding, I think @Celia is right, and you need a coordinator so that you're not running around like a crazy person that day setting up and cleaning up and making sure no one is too drunk to drive. You should be focused on getting married.

If you want a relaxed family eating environment, have your ceremony at your aunt's (under a tent, weather permitting) and then go to a local restaurant and have a lovely meal with your family.

Everything Celia said.

We were lucky. The backyard was our own, so we were comfortable having 38 people on total at our house. Our house has three restrooms. There is a church next to us that let us use their parking lot since our development does not allow street parking. Thankfully I had event rental that let me have a tent on standby just in case. Being in AZ, thankfully, we did not end up needing it. I spent a year renovating our backyard to meet our needs and collecting the china, drinkware and we built almost everything ourselves (bar, pergola, cantina area). I DIY'd almost everything in that year of planning. Our cater provided staff for the food. I had detailed day of instruction books for all my vendors - and even then I still regret not having a DOC because it just didn't work as smoothly as I had anticipated. The lighting, we followed per wattage instructions and I purchased a ton of battery pack lighting as well. We had a PA and speakers and a set playlist that did not require anyone to do anything with at all. Our officiant, a dear friend, stayed the entire night and announced everything for us. Our liquor was serve yourself which was completely doable w/ how small it was. I had drink containers for the signature cocktail and lemonade, and wheel barrows full of drinking water, sodas and craft beer. I hired professional to deep clean my home and DH and I took the next day to clean everything up, wash dishes and pack up all the wedding stuff before we left for our honeymoon. I did almost everything myself and I was still doing stuff up to an hour before the ceremony. I got ready in an hour. AN HOUR. I take longer than that to get ready on a regular day. The day goes by so fast.

It's a lot cheaper! My fiancé and I would love to be able to do this just no options of anyone with a big enough backyard! It's a wonderful idea and so much more intimate! Also fun idea you're able to decorate it as much as you want and how you want as compared to not being able to do a whole lot with a venue, my fiancé and I thought if we did a backyard wedding we could do a night under the stars theme, so have a bunch of pretty lighting that kind of twinkle with the stars! I wish you the best of luck!

Hi! I had a super casual backyard wedding! I was also going to chance the rain and go no tent, but the tent also kept everyone cool and shaded. It also provided light after dark. I was able to get our tent CHEAP ($600) from a new tent startup.

We used garden chairs and ikea end tables inside the tent, giving it more of a living room feel. We were able to power the lights and music from the house. We also had a portapotty (don't forget the light for after dark!!) But as VM said, it's a LOT of work to on your own, which is fine if you're cool with that! I loved our wedding and wouldn't have done it any other way. We spent around 3K.

Here's a link to my BAM if you want to see it! https://m.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/bam-backyard-cookout-wedding-but-with-pro-pics/2ad8334f9e94391f

Things you need to think of that you probably haven't yet:

1. Insurance.

2. Parking.

3. Toilets. No, 30-40 people CANNOT use the same, or even the same two or three, indoor toilets. The plumbing WILL break. You WILL need portapotties.

4. Dumpster. You will have more trash than you think.

5. Parking for vendors.

6. Permitting restrictions(vary by county).

7. Noise ordinances.

I did this for 250 people, and it's fucking HARD.

Tia, basically what youre describing it pretty much how I envision it.

It comes off sounding like a graduation party, but that is not what I'm intending here or want. My fiance is very crafty and builds a lot of things out of pallets, so he could easily make a few tables for placing the drinks and the card table. I know its a lot of work. I'm willing to work to save the money though. There are other things we could use 15 thousand on, like buying a house.

If you dont mind me asking Tia, around how much did that cost you? I see you hired wait staff, which I havent crossed off the list, but I didnt really think we would need for buffet style.

Also, like M said, getting the yard prepped and together is a lot of work! Get absolutely as much done in the weeks before as possible so you're not going crazy the day of.

Actually, the first thing I told my Aunt when she offered this to us was that I would get insurance.

Parking I think I have down, and portajohns would be rented. I did not think of a dumpster but that could be done. We wouldnt have any noise ordinances since she has no neighbors and her property backs up to state land, so I don't think that would be an issue. I know its going to require work and be hard, but even with renting out a venue and paying more, I had planned to bring in my own china, decor, alcohol and find my own caterer. I do not want a banquet hall wedding or a wedding resort. I want something that lets me mold it how I want it to be, which we found in a venue but its far and still costly.

We spent under $7k over all. Here is a link to my pro and non pro BAMs.

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/bam-non-pro-and-mini-intro/9bb46f31965a13fb.html

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/pro-bam/b23b0ffa01b99b88.html

Then my recommendations would be, for this size wedding, to hire a caterer who will also hire staff. Hire a DJ you like/trust. Do everything you can weeks before the wedding. HIRE A DOC. Even for $500, I so wish I had done this. You can't run jack shit on your own wedding day, trust me.

Do tent rental companies let you keep them on stand by in case of weather? I really do not want to have tents, unless weather makes us. Would they charge you the same whether you used it or not? I guess thats something I'll have to keep in mind and get pricing on.

Looks like I need to keep my options open. Either way, its just the same amount of stress whether we do backyard or at a venue. Both are going to require a lot and both are not going to cheap. Although backyard in my opinion and based off of the rates of the venues Ive looked at, is WAY cheaper still even with the cost of rentals.

I can't stress this enough - IT IS SO MUCH WORK. Even for something laid back and less formal.

Re: tent: it depends. Most companies insist on putting it up for you (and after watching those guys, I couldn't have done it. At all.) The cancellation really depends on the vendor.

The great news is that you have some time to think and plan this out to be seamless. Good luck!

So much work. My hamstrings hurt from carrying things up and down hills so many times.

Thanks Catsbonincats!! And yours was gorgeous! I love that you did it for 3000, it makes it seem possible to me!

M- thanks for your recommendations. I'm going to keep all that in mind.

Amanda, no, they dont. You either reserve the tent or not, pay for it or not. So get the thing set up anyhow! Not wroth the risk. I ALMOST risked it, and on a day it had not rained in the area for over 30 years, it rained. It cleared up for the wedding, but thank GOD the tent was already up so the ground was DRY!

For that size crowd though, you can probably go for a smaller tent. The tent I had to get for 250 seated + dance floor was pretty intense, and I could NOT have put it up myself. There were 40 people from the rental company doing it the day before!