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J
Savvy September 2020

Backyard Wedding Food And Dress code advice

Jannie, on August 3, 2020 at 9:25 AM Posted in Planning 0 15
Hey guys! So I decided to do a backyard wedding on 09.12.20 for 50 if our close family and friends. I have two issues. Money is tight but I want everyone to have a nice experience. I do want the dress code to be semi-formal instead of dressy casual since I dont want anyone to show up in jeans. My issue is that my fiance wants to do a buffet, have 4 family members cook half the food and order the other have from a restaurant. He doesn't even want me to have a waiter, but I think its necessary so someone can serve and pick up after everyone eats.


If we do a buffet dinner, would it still be considered semi-formal? I had originally put it on the invitation but now I am thinking whether I should take it off and hope that no-one shows up in jeans. If we do half cooked by family half by restaurant, Would I even be able to hire a waiter since its not from a “caterer”. Please help I am so confused

15 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on August 27, 2020 at 10:00 PM
  • J
    Savvy September 2020
    Jannie ·
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    Also forgot to ask, is we do fancy plastic plates instead of actual plates to avoid the washing the rental dishes after, is that tacky? Especially wanting a semi-formal wedding?
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Dollar tree has really pretty charger plates, you could order bulk from their website! Usually when you order catering from restaurants they also give the option of having someone serve the food (at least in Maryland they do). But I don't think that is a necessity, you could always ask family to help with the clean up. Lastly, you could still do a semi-formal event, it doesn't matter if its a buffet, family, or seated dinner.

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  • J
    Savvy September 2020
    Jannie ·
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    The place Im ordering food from is a local spanish restaurant. I would buy trays of food depending on the amount of people
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    Oh okay, do you think that some of your family members would mind serving the food?

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  • Marcia
    Expert March 2021
    Marcia ·
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    I hired two people to bring the food, serve the buffet, clean up, etc at my friend's bridal party. Worth every penny. We didn't worry all day and everything went smoothly.


    I think without at least one person helping, you and your family will end up being the stressed wait staff. I wouldn't let family cook, serve, or even clean up.
    Also, you could say "smart casual," which is less dressy but means no jeans. The buffet is fine, but the venue doesn't seem semi-formal
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  • Samantha
    Dedicated August 2020
    Samantha ·
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    We're doing a backyard wedding with 50 as well. I did hire a wedding planner to help bc after the venue was canceled I was lost on what to do...that being said, we're having buffet style dinner, catered, with 2 wait staff members. 2 should be enough for 50 people.. I think its important to have hired staff for the food and beverages. Otherwise, your guests (family) wont be able to enjoy the wedding like everyone else, and you'll be stressed worrying if everythings going okay. Maybe call around and get some prices, you may be suprised that it could fit into your budget..
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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    Dressy casual and semi-formal in the wedding world are somewhat interchangeable, but in your case, I would put dressy casual since semi-formal seems "too" formal for the type of event you're throwing. It's not that it's a buffet, it's the backyard + family catering + plastic plates, all together, that makes this a more casual event.

    Fwiw, jeans are not considered acceptable wedding attire at all, even if the dress code is "casual". Your guests might not be aware of that. Generally the style of the invite clues guests in to the formality of the event, which in turn clues them in to what to wear. If you're having a more casual wedding, people will dress more casually.

    I found this helpful: https://www.brides.com/story/wedding-dress-code-explained

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I don't think you can force your wedding to be semi-formal just by using that as the dress code, when none of the elements you describe sound semi-formal. If you really want a semi-formal wedding (and encourage your guests to dress up), you need to make sure the invitation, venue, time, food, entertainment, decor, etc. are all on the formal side.

    All of that said, some people might still wear jeans and that's not something you can really control. The good news is that you can still have a nice wedding and enjoy your reception no matter what your guests are wearing. Smiley smile

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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I agree with the two PPs above me. I would say dressy casual instead of semi-formal. All of the elements you've described are more in line with dressy casual reception (think nice sundresses with wedges for the women, sport coats and khakis for the men).

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    A buffet works with a semi formal wedding as well. I've been to a couple of formal weddings that had a buffet. If you end up going with family doing half the food and a restaurant doing the other half then I'd talk to the restaurant and see if they can serve all the food. We are going with dinosaur BBQ buffet style with service. When I talked to them I asked them how much the wait staff would be doing and if they could cut my cake and the manager at dinosaur BBQ said they could pretty much help me out with anything I need during the dinner. I'm sure the more they do the more expensive it gets. And fancy plastic plates and silverware can be very very nice, it all depends on where you get them and how much you are willing to spend on them.
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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    You can hire wait staff. Do a Goigle search in your area for 'party staffers'. They may be able to clean up to.
    A local Sam's Club or Costco will have plastic plates, heavy duty plastic silverware, cups, napkins, etc
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  • J
    Savvy September 2020
    Jannie ·
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    Is the venue not semi formal because its not in an actual venue? I renting a tent, lights, rustic decor, what makes the backyard not semi-formal? Just wondering
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    Will you be having hardwood flooring put down underneath the tent? Honestly, that would make a big difference in terms of attire you’re able to ask for. Semi-formal means high heel shoes for the female guests, and these don’t work on grass.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    I think, by definition, rustic would never be analogous to formal. There is nothing at all wrong with rustic decor and a backyard wedding, but I just think you'll be so much happier if you try to stop worrying about what your guests will wear and just focus on the elements you can control.

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  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katie ·
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    We’re doing backyard brunch wedding with under 20 people. I think it’s pretty common to do buffet at weddings and can still be formal or semi formal. We hired a caterer and they have either a delivery and diy set up option or a full service option for buffet. Due to covid if over 15 people they require a server for the buffet. This was a nice option because we wouldn’t have to spend money on renting hot plate/buffet equipment or clean up. It was an extra $150 for full service vs delivery so that was definitely worth it to me.
    I wanted to go the cheap route and originally thought me and my mom would make ahead the day before and we would pick up stuff platters and baked goods from a grocery store in the morning to set out. But FH was like “who do you think will style and plate all this the way you want because you’ll be busy getting married and then taking pictures etc and shouldn’t have to worry about preparing and setting up food as the bride” he is so right. I don’t want to put that burden on anyone either so this was perfect for us and I’m grateful to him for thinking of that
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