Bachelorette planning drama?

Just because its co-ed does not mean she gets to invite additional people. That is not up to her. I would tell the BM that the invite list is for close friends & the bridal party only. She does not get to bring her boyfriend along to a Bachelorette party! .... besides - why would he even want to go anyways?

Yeah, I'd just reiterate what your brother said and hope for the best. If she decides that's a dealbreaker for her, then her loss. Just because you decided to have a co-ed event doesn't mean she gets to invite any co-eds she wants. That'd be like saying you have an LGBT friend who wants to invite her GF/W - just because they're the same gender doesn't mean they're automatically invited.

Well considering this went from a "girls night out" to a "friends night out" I can see where she's coming from.

A bit presumptuous of her to automatically invite her BF, but it is a weird vibe of a co-ed party as ADULTS without a significant other being allowed to come, especially since you mentioned she's not normally a part of this friends group, she probably feels a bit lonely. Maybe UO but this doesn't seem like a "bachelorette party" to me anymore. just seems like a "friends night out", what's the harm in letting her bring her BF?

Maybe she's uncomfortable going away on a co-ed trip without her boyfriend. When she heard co-ed she probably assumed "couples" not "only my friends but none of their significant others"

I just love how people assume "let me talk to the bride" is a great idea lol like no it's not up for discussion. i learned from my wedding a clear "NO" without a long explanation is best. you shouldn't have to explain why and how you want every little thing. smh! weddings can bring the worst out of people and you truly see who makes YOUR wedding about them.

Yeah, just repeat what your brother said. You're totally not in the wrong here - just because it's co-ed doesn't mean it's now an open invitation for her boyfriend. Wedding party only. Your friend might stick to her BF all weekend (out of obligation or comfort) instead of mingling with the wedding party.

Also, if it helps, none of my bridesmaids knew each other at all before the wedding. They planned the best bach party (we camped in a yurt!) together and everyone got along awesome all weekend. Two of them are now good friends and they invite each other to parties, kid/mom things, etc! It was an amazing time.

Honestly the vibe of your party is not a traditional one, at least in my circle. I definitely think it's ok so tell her no because she is free to decline the get-together. However, it wouldn't be my FH favorite thing in the world if I was going to a crazy booze-filled bach party with girls and guys - presumably all staying in the same hotel etc. When it goes from girl's weekend to friend's weekend, the lines are going to be a little blurred in terms of what people are comfortable with.

You can tell her no but expect her to decline. There is no reason her bf couldn't tag along.

I think you need to tell her upfront who you want to come and no dates are invited no matter if it is coed. If she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come? Katie is being a little extra.

People don't need to bring dates to a bachelorette party, regardless of it being co-ed or not. Those parties are for friends of the bride or groom only, not their significant others. That's what the wedding is for. If someone isn't capable of going anywhere without their SO (which is pretty sad), then they can sit out the party.

I see both sides, but I agree with PP's that the bachelorette party is for close friends/the BP. I would just respectfully let her know, and be understanding if she chooses to decline.