Bachelor Parties! RANT

Maybe because of his aspiring job it makes her worried for everything else involving women.. or maybe theres something we dont know?

I trust my husband but I don't want him at a strip club. Luckily they make him uncomfortable so he and friends just went to a casino.

The last bachelor party my FH went to was at a strip club. I may not like him going to them, but I know he isn't going to do anything he shouldn't so do what you must I guess (and this was only the second time in almost 6 years he has gone to one). I had to laugh my bootie off when he called after two hours to ask me to pick him up because it sucked so bad. If a man can't be trusted to go to a strip club with some friends (where the boundaries are so strict) than why would one marry him?

Sounds like she either needs to get over her issues (or over herself possibly?) and learn to trust her man. Or maybe she is the one doing something she shouldn't and is pushing that guilt?

Yea I am not fond of my FH going to a strip club as a member of a party, nor do I think he would want to. I would just address her and be polite to mention that it is an optional part of the wedding. You have quite a few months left, so really no one needs to be concerned about it just yet.

@Melissa lol My FH also called me one night to go pick him up haha. Everyone thought it was because I got really upset but he called me and told me he was really tired lol. Im ok with FH going to the strip club for his bachelor party but he knows the rule lol "No Private dances, not even for free!!" hahaha

I think its better that our FH tell us where they're going vs lying to us. Because at the end of the day they can still do whatever they want behind our backs, its a matter of trust!

Im the same as Kitten Purr Face- I trust him 100000% but I wouldn't like my FH going to a strip club either. I think that it's just disrespectful of your wife or gf and honestly I think it's disrespectful to the girls working there. They are there to make some kind of a living and to get paid- if FH goes there just "cuz" and doesn't use any of the "services" the strip club offers- he is just taking $$ away from them. IMO- strip clubs are for single people and can be a lot of fun for those single people- but it's not necessary to go to a strip club for a bachelor party because they can have other kinds of fun.

I didnt like my husband going to a strip club either, but I think the guys wanted to go so I was ok with him going. I think its just a matter of control...my cousin was one of my bridesmaids and she wasnt allowed to go to my bachelorette party bc of her boyfriend...

I agree with you, Desi... and it may be because I used to be a stripper (Nobody who knows me believes me when I tell them that, so don't judge me lol)! Anyway, I want FH to go to a strip club... He says he just wants to go to the Casino in Tampa, but I think he should just make a whole weekend out of it and go to Tampa for a couple days to the Casino and find a strip club to go to. I want him to have fun, and I don't think it is disrespectful to me at all... I guess I'm just super laid back lol... And I don't want him to resent me for being all uptight and saying "You cant go to the strip club!!!" I don't want to be "that wife" lol... And it really doesn't bother me at all... it's not like he's looking for hookers...

@Desi: Sounds like the woman has some severe insecurity issues!!

I trust my FH 100%. If he wants to go see boobies - go see boobies! They're naked ladies dancing. I think the porn industry really played out 'epic bachelor party' videos ... therefore people get these wild imaginary situations of what'll happen when the guys go out to the strip club. If the dude is gonna cheat - he's going to cheat. and if that's the way they wanna go they're going to be thinking... i'd be a heck of a lot cheaper finding some random drunk girl at a bar to get nakie with....

The rule in our relationship is - if we can't tell each other what happened then we probably shouldn't be doing it in the first place.

Some people/couples/spouses are ok with it, some aren't. I'm all for going to the strippers, but lap dances are a no. That's my only 'rule' There very well could be more to this aspiring models story than we know. I don't think a couple should sideline their expectations/comfort/what have you for a bachelor party. It is what it is, and if she doesn't like it, than it's an issue between her and her husband and no one should interfere. Now if he went and got the guys to lie about it, that is a different story.

Honestly, that's for the wife and husband to decide on their own..she has a right to feeling upset if she feels your FH and other GMs are pressuring him to go and she doesn't want him to. Let the couple decide..other GMs will still go with your FH so it won't spoil it, everyone has their own opinions on strip clubs..just cuz she posts half naked photos of herself doesn't automatically mean that she's okay with hubby going to a strip club..pictures are pictures..at a club there are interactions, smiles exchanged, eye contact, maybe even a lap dance, not everyone is okay with that.

It's rare I think for strippers, at least classy ones to want to get with their clientele, so I agree that shouldn't really be a worry..but any way you slice it imo at a strip club it's a strange half naked woman flirting (albeit acting), strutting her stuff and dry humping to please/entertain your FH and you are not there...

That being said I think guys should have that right of passage so to speak if they want, like FMS I think lap dances are crossing that line.

Im glad im not the only one that think it is about her insecuriities. I have been with myy FH andd they are just always really fun. It just about starting the celebration of our wedding! I love that I am able to have that security in myself and my FH.. Like I told her.. If I was concerned with him ever cheating on me then I WOULDNT MARRY HIM. Point blank.

Aspiring model or not I think posting half naked pictures of yourself on facebook is classless, unprofessional & trashy. It's one thing to keep photography in your portfolio - another posting stuff on facebook for friends to see. [insecure]

@ Desi, did she ask you if you were okay with it, or did you just comment on one of her rant posts?

I'm honestly confused as to why this is upsetting you, it's up to them to decide if this is okay in their relationship or not. If she said something incredibly rude to you about it, and you told her you were cool with it and she's still ranting about it to you, then yes, I can understand getting po'd at her.

I think that it also depends on the guy. My FH always says that he hates strip clubs- "why go to a strip club and get 'teased' by people i'm not even attracted to when I can stay here and have you"- so if he ever said he wanted to go to a strip club I would question him because it's out of character for him. Why does he want to go? Just cuz his friends want him to? is the peer pressure getting to him? and if peer pressure can get him to break out of character to do that- what else can peer pressure get him to break out of his character to do? Like I said earlier- i trust FH to the max- more than I have ever trusted anyone- but if he just out of the blue did something that he wouldn't have done before without making sure I was ok with it first- Id have a big issue and that would be with anything- not just the strip club. And another thing- if I felt that FH was picking his friends over my feelings- that would be a whole other issue.

Have you thought that maybe there is a bigger issue than your FH going to the strip club? Maybe there is something personal she doesn't want you to know about. You never know what other people are going through behind closed doors. My FH will NOT go to the strip clubs. He said he went once and was not fond of them at all. In fact, on his bachelor party, he wants to go paintballing. I think there is more to the situation and you shouldn't jump to conclusions.

I agree with The Future Mrs. Hardcastle.... My ex husband was a prime example. He was secretly addicted to pornography and strip clubs and no one knew it. Then I found out about it- and whenever his friends all wanted to go to one I flipped out. They thought I was being a biotch but they didn't understand that he would treat me like shit when he came home and that he would spend hundreds of dollars on porn and whatnot when he came home.

@FMS It was a rant she posted on facebook. I was just mostly talking down to me and other wives that are letting their husbands go. And I completely agree.. The worst part is that her husbad doesnt even have a facebook, therefore, he doesnt know that puts pictures on there lke that!

If she keeps bugging you about it, just tell her as nicely as possible that some people are cool with it, some aren't. And you understand she isn't but you don't see you bugging her about it.