Bachelor parties and strip clubs - opinions

I"d be upset about the lying. My husband told me about the strip club and the awkward conversation he had to have with a groomsmen who was under the impression that a bachelor weekend is the final send off for the groom that would include getting in bed with a random. I think it's really important to be open and honest and he clearly lied. Though to me it seems like it was to spare your feelings especially since he came clean about it.

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I completely agree with you. I have never understood the obsession with strip clubs, especially when it's someone getting married.

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My husband isn't allow to go to strip clubs. Strip clubs have a huge connection to the human trafficking/sex trafficking industry that can't be ignored. My husband and I would feel morally bankrupt if our money was funding the sex trafficking industry (directly or indirectly) and lining the pockets of the traffickers that literally sell, abuse, and rape women for their own personal gain. Strip clubs definitely aren't "silly."

A lie is a lie no matter the context.

View Quoted Comment She can tell him it makes her uncomfortable I was saying she shouldn’t tell a grown man where we can and cannot go.

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Thank you for saying this. I think the strip club issue is much bigger than letting a man have his freedom or dealing with insecurities it may cause. The sex trafficking industry is much bigger than most people realize.

View Quoted Comment I’m really not sure what you’re on me about I’ve never been to a strip club. My FH hasn’t since he met me not sure about before we were together. Strip clubs are disgusting but if FH wanted to go to one who am I to tell him no he’s a grown man. I was saying you shouldn’t be telling your man what he can and cannot do I also said how it’s not a place for married people.
I never condoned strip clubs at all I was only stating you shouldn’t be telling a grown man what he’s “allowed” to do!

View Quoted Comment I’m with you on this one!

View Quoted Comment Sorry I hurt your feelings, By stating I didn’t care what someone said. Hope you feel better soon!

I would not be happy either. I told my fiance i am against strippers and such and he knows that. I am okay if he has some fun with his friends, but if i am not going to do anything that extreme then i would prefer he didn't do it either. now i do have issues about being lied to so i would not handle it well either. I do think it is good you are forgiving him and that you still trust him, but I do agree that lying is the wrong way to start the wedding. I would definitely talk to him about it and just let him know how you feel. Communication is key to the relationship and it may help you get over the issue.

I would be livid that (1) he lied to me and said he wouldn't go to a strip club. And (2) he did and he's been keeping a secret for 5 years. This would cause a serious problem for me, and I definitely would believe anything he tells me.

ETA:

DH and I had a long talk and I made it very clear I am not a fan of strip clubs and if this is something that he participates in, this is a deal breaker for me. Thankfully it's not his thing.

View Quoted Comment NOT telling you will cause a bigger problem. I mean seriously, what else has he NOT told you?

I think you are absolutely over-reacted. First, it's his bachelor party and I think you were 100% wrong for telling him he can't go. You are not supposed to be involved in his night with his boys. You have the rest of your lives together. If you trust him, then who cares about a lap dance? So what? If he got a hooker, then that's a reason to be upset. Now if you don't trust him, then you shouldn't be married.
As for him lying about it, of course he did. Do you think that his boys were going to plan an evening for him and then he's going to say, "Sorry guys, can't do it, the Mrs. said no." As long as he doesn't disrepect his relationship, there is no reason he shouldn't go. Give the guy a break.
My Bachelorette party is next weekend and YES, we are going to a male revue. I have strongly encouraged my fiance to hit a strip club and get himself a lap dance. I trust him emphatically.

I'd feel betrayed and sad, but thats just me. There is a reason you feel upset. In difficult times, and in all times, call out to God. Marriage is a covenant between husband, wife, and God. Lust of the eyes has no place in marriage. Scripture tells us that when a man looks at another woman with lust, he has committed adultery (Matthew 5:28). Adulterers have no place in the kingdom of heaven (1 Corinthians 6:9). Satan hates anything of God, like marriage and family, and tries to tear it apart. Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). Don't let this lie overwhelm you, pray about it, bring it to God. Pray exactly what is on your heart and God will give you peace beyond human understanding, and thats a PROMISE from God! ( Philippians 4:7 ) There truly is a spiritual battle going on that we cannot see (Ephesians 6:3). Pray to Jesus, read the Bible. Start in the gospel of John. God will reveal the most amazing things to you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uymDU9WxdVM