Jules
Dedicated October 2021

Awkward invite situation.. guest inviting themselves

Jules, on January 4, 2021 at 10:23 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 28

I was sent this message last month by a bartender at a bar that I was a regular at 10 years ago. We have stayed “friends” on Facebook but we never talk and I do not have her phone number and we probably last spoke.. in person over six years ago..? At the bar? Lol! We don’t even message on FB. I...
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I was sent this message last month by a bartender at a bar that I was a regular at 10 years ago. We have stayed “friends” on Facebook but we never talk and I do not have her phone number and we probably last spoke.. in person over six years ago..? At the bar? Lol! We don’t even message on FB. I ignored this message because it’s comically rude and I thought she’d drop it. She posted on my “what I’m grateful for in 2020” post this evening and said “still waiting on my confirmation!” As in her invite... umm can I continue to ignore this? I feel like she’d just show up. My wedding is formal and will have full seating charts. I appreciate that she’d drive four hours for my wedding but I feel like it’s just so she can see Dawn (one of her friends and also my very close friend/ bridesmaid). Can I pawn this off on my BM? My bridesmaids/bridesmen all live in different states (Texas in this case) so it’s essentially a destination wedding for everyone. This is our wedding though, not a reunion. Continue to ignore or what? I’d be mortified to invite myself to literally any gathering.



28 Comments

  • Y
    Dedicated January 2021
    Yvonne ·
    • Flag

    I'm cringing so much but maybe her perception of your "friendship" is different and she thought you guys were closer. BUT she doesn't know the circumstances of the wedding so it may take some direct communication to let her know and hope she understands... this is an awkward situation as it is, I don't think it could be made any less awkward unfortunately Smiley sad

    • Reply
  • MLS
    Dedicated September 2021
    MLS ·
    • Flag

    It took me so long to reply because I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I am so sorry that's horribly rude. I would say No and then block as others have said.

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Dedicated July 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    LOL that is so odd! I don’t think you owe her an explanation to why she’s not invited. She should already know that by you not responding before. I would just ignore it! Maybe hide her from seeings your posts and all. Yikes!!
    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Devoted December 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    The CRINGE over reading this text. I’m so sorry you even have to worry about this! I swear, weddings bring out some true colors in people.
    • Reply
  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Keep us updated! I am curious how she will react lol. Cause that's wtf levels of rude of her 😂


    You got this! Plus, way easier to nip it in the bud now instead of having a surprise guest at your wedding and dealing with it there! I can't imagine the stress and anxiety that would cause. Plus all the anxiety worrying about that scenario from now til the day of 😩 you'll feel much better when it's taken care of!
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    April ·
    • Flag
    A few people did this to me last year for my wedding and all i told them was we have a strict limit for guests due to covid and that if any isnt able to come i would let them know. And i never heard from them again about it..so maybe try that
    • Reply
  • Theadra
    Devoted June 2021
    Theadra ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Agreed! Its so funny because I've have always heard that people come from the woodworks , that you haven't spoken to in years expecting an invitation. That's so crazy lol and plain rude!!

    • Reply
  • Megan
    Devoted May 2023
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    Yikes on several bikes. If you want to let her down gently, I would let her know due to COVID you had to keep a small guest list and you appreciate her willingness to attend but it's out of your hands now that you've confirmed the guest count.

    I've had a few friends (but not close friends) say they can't wait for the wedding/better invite them/etc. and I'm just like "weeeeeeellllll.... I'm not."Smiley xd

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