Awkward bridesmaids situation

View Quoted Comment You can always have a engagement get together and have people meet and see how they hit it off. My bridesmaids has family and stuff she wants to put first which obviously I understand and I wouldn’t wanna be a bridesmaid because our weddings are 5 months apart and she can afford to be in mine but not me lol. Either way I don’t think she dislikes me or doesn’t see me as a close friend, she just has people more important then me which is life!

I'm sure A will be at least a little sad/disappointed but if you are truly friends, it shouldn't affect anything long-term. You shouldn't feel obligated to have ANYONE in your party that you don't want! That being said, there also shouldn't be any limits on how many bridesmaids you feel like you can have just based on tradition/norms- I'm having a small wedding and 10 bridesmaids because I'm incredibly close with all of them!! I don't think there's any specific number that's "right"

We were engaged in 2017 and marrying in October 2020, too! Lol
I don’t feel as though you are obligated to have anyone in your wedding party. You should choose the people who are closest to you and want to be by your side. We are each having one stand beside us.

Personally I think this is a little immature.... Yes she may be disappointed or sad but I do not believe OP is being mean in anyway. While I agree accepting to be BM when you aren't as close to the bride may be strange but if the girl felt she wanted her as a BM then thats that. Like a PP commented if you included EVERYONE who has invited you in their wedding you could have upwards of 10-12 people if not more. Ultimately people drift apart. My Bestfriend had a MOH only and it was her sister and I attended her wedding as a guest she is the MOH in my wedding. I was not offended by her decision. Another good friend of mine had her wedding party already picked by the time we became friends so I wasn't in her wedding and shes a BM in my wedding.

My question would be is A getting an invite to the wedding if she isn't a BM? if yes, then yeah, maybe she will be a little upset but you can't get mad if you guys aren't that close. If this is a moral dilemma I would lay it out like this... " Hey A, so i have been thinking a lot and while I am honored to be in your wedding party i don't want you including me on the premise that you will be in my party. unfortunately I have my group picked out. I would love to stand by you in your day because I am very excited and happy for you, but if you not being in my wedding is a deal breaker I completely understand and I can step down from being a BM."

This is way off base. Many brides have 2-10 bridesmaids. That does not mean every one needs to then choose her, or it will end the friendship. And over time, one person can be BM or MOH for a lot of people. My wedding to my husband was the 40th wedding I was in. So should I have had to have all 39 of the bride's who asked me, as my bridesmaids? Some people have very few friends. Maybe it sounds like sense, to be in each other's weddings. But people who have moved around, made a lot of friendships that endure over many years time, could not possibly hold to the direct exchange. And when a person marries, some of their closest friends may be far away, not available. Or too busy. 4 people whose weddings I was in in the 2 years before my wedding had infants 2 weeks to 6 months old at my wedding time. They were so busy, and 5 months before my wedding, when I got engaged, I knew they would all be too busy with babies. There are a lot of reasons people do or do not ask someone to be in their wedding, even when they are very close. I would never have asked the friend who had law boards 3 days after my wedding. Or the one who flew to Estonia for 6 months, just 2 weeks before my wedding. Or the two who flew off to Hawaii or Oregon for grad school, weeks before my wedding. I was in theirs. We we're still close. But it is hard enough paying your way through school without blowing thousands traveling to weddings. My not choosing them was not rejection. It was practical considerations. And my 2 BM and 2 MOH, the 3 who married later all asked me. 2 for the same day. And I refused both, it was our scheduled adoption day for 2 kids. And the 3rd married in Finland, while I was 9 months pregnant, here. But my turning them down did not make any statement that I did not value them . . . Reading your dramatic, ' it would end a friendship if someone I chose did not choose me' post, makes me think you are very young, or very naive. . . . Good thing hubby and I are happy. Because if I married again, I would have to add 14 bride's whose BP I was in since mine, to the 39 previous ones. Hmm, know any venues with room for 53 bridesmaids with a bride? How silly . No obligation.