Average Alone Time During Reception

I think this answer is going to vary depending on each couple.

For us, we're getting our food first then eating together in the bridal suite while our guests are dismissed by table for their food. We've allotted around 20 min for us to just relax for a second and eat in peace lol. During this time, we'll eat, talk about how our mornings went since we weren't together, how we're feeling etc. Or we'll just not talk and enjoy one another's company while we eat our first meal as husband and wife! We'll let our DOC know to get us when it's time to do table visits.

If there's one thing our friends and family have told us, it's to make sure we have time in our timeline to be alone together.

Some people say the couple doesn’t get two seconds to eat. Others say they make sure to eat and still get seconds if that is an option.

In our families/circles, it is considered rude to eat in private. If you choose to greet guests by table visits, you sacrifice your eating time because it takes that long to get through everyone (we witnessed this at a wedding last weekend and many posts on the forum agree) . Do you not want to greet your guests? Don’t invite anyone you don’t want to spend time with. You can dismiss rows in 10-15 minutes tops and have all the time you want to mingle and eat during cocktail hour and then eat in peace during dinner. But sitting down to eat is a choice. Guests will see that you are eating and respect that by not coming up to say hi.

Because you are hosting a party (in a venue that is not your home), the same rules apply. You don’t get downtime/alone time while you have guests. The only alone time you is using the restroom. It’s part of being a host.

It really depends on the couple and how you choose to approach things. For us, we got our food first and ate for about 10-15 minutes at our sweetheart table. We decided to do table visits, so I wanted to have enough time to go around and not feel rushed. I have read of people going off alone to eat for 15-20 minutes, which I think is a nice idea as well. I just personally wanted to be able to eat where our guests were - I enjoyed watching everyone eating and having a good time haha.

Honestly, people didn't come up and bother us while we were eating, but your guests could be different.

View Quoted Comment Oh. I like that! That's a sweet idea.

View Quoted Comment Yea, that's what I'm afraid of. Not knowing whether or not we'll get the chance

We definitely got a chance to eat and enjoy our meal alone. That being said, I felt like I was the Bachelorette on the first night You'll be spending time with someone, and someone else will come and whisk you away, and then someone else will interrupt them. You will be pulled in many directions from family, guests, and vendors, so just roll with it and be flexible!

View Quoted Comment Understandable but like someone else mentioned, not all guests so I'm genuinely asking to explore all options and advice. I appreciate it.

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My FBIL and his wife did it and I really liked it! Honestly no one really noticed because we were all busy getting our food, eating, and talking to the people at our table.

View Quoted Comment Lol yea it was more so the eating part. After that, I'm along for the ride.

No one bothered us during dinner except my cousins who came to tell us they were leaving 🙄
If you make eating a priority it will be. Don’t get up until you’re done.

Honestly, I saw it again and again and again and again at weddings -

I don't believe most people know to bug off while you're eating. I really, truly don't.

I always joked to my husband, it's a good thing I'm not a wedding planner, because I'd develop a reputation for telling guests to stay the heck away from the couple during dinner. The entire dinner. All of it. Start to finish. Do not even walk their direction or I will end you.

This is my absolute biggest pet peeve of wedding guests, is watching them walk up, interrupt the couple while they're eating, and start talking to them, go in for hugs, etc.

I don't care what anyone says - this makes it impossible to eat. No one wants to shovel food in their mouths while their guests are standing at their table talking to them.

I would go so far as to enlist someone to intercept people. A bossy bridesmaid, a strong-willed usher, whatever. Someone who will step in if they see you are getting interrupted too often, or someone is lingering too long.

We had a sweetheart table, so that gave us some alone time. I was able to enjoy our meal and not feel rushed at all. We also stepped away so I could change into my reception dress and also left the festivities for a few photo opportunities here and there, so I felt like we did get time together, even though the day was very busy.

If you are worried about having couple time, I would strongly recommend doing a sweetheart table as opposed to sitting with other people for dinner. While people would approach us to say congrats at various points of the evening, like when in the reception area or dancing, no one bothered us when we were actually seated and eating at our table.

Also if my husband had not had groomsmen, I would have considered having us get ready together (he already saw my dress because of our Covid elopement, I had no bridesmaids). I know its super non-traditional and most couples want to have a surprise "first look" moment of some kind (whether a first look photo shoot or walking down the aisle) but I think it would have been great bonding/quiet time before the rush of all the guests.

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"You don’t get downtime/alone time while you have guests."

100% disagree. Any guest who has a problem with a host having some alone time is rude and shouldn't go to social functions.

You're a host, not a circus monkey. Hosting people does not entitle them to access to you at all times.

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That is a similar feeling with some guests when the couple does table visits while they are eating. It’s awkward for them as well.

Cassidy's right. Make eating a priority and don't get up until you're done. If someone stops by your table while you're eating - just keep eating. (My sister in law stopped every time someone came by and that's how she ended up not eating.) If someone wants a picture with you while you're eating, politely ask them to wait until you've finished - a lot of people don't remember/realize that you haven't eaten for a while (and probably not a lot, then, because nerves), they should understand.

We had a sweetheart table and plated meals. We got our food served first, and there was a server that specifically refilled our water and brought us our alcoholic beverage of choice, so we had plenty of time to eat while guests were being served. Most guests did not bother us when we were at the sweetheart table except for an older relative of mine who came up to us for a few minutes. While we didn't have an excessive amount of time alone during the event, I didn't feel like I was rushed to eat or anything.

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Wow. I'm upset that you made that sound simple 😂. Like I literally didn't even think about that. Cause I definitely wouldn't have if people kept coming up.

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That is literally how I was feeling. That people would end up doing that. Any other time, I wouldn't care. I'm along for the ride during the reception. Just wait until after we're finished eating.

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Thank you. We are having a sweetheart table so hopefully that does help. We are actually planning a first look at a different location down the street from our venue so that will be a bit of extra help in having some alone time before things get crazy.

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Good to know I'm not alone. And it's not like we want to be left along the entire time. I just don't want a lot of people coming to us while we're eating. Anytime after that, I'm ok with.