Attend wedding without fiancé?

@k squared I understand the basic etiquette issue but not everyone knows basic etiquette or simply chooses not to follow it. ETA...they already aren't following basic etiquette by adding this adult on her parents invitation.

@Melissa H. My younger brother is 18 and sister is 16

@alana g. The problem I am facing is whether or not to attend this wedding. We are not super close but she always seemed so kind and happy for Angel and I. I don't want to go without him honestly because I don't feel comfortable. But my whole family will be there, even though FH is not going he considered trying to move his bachelor party until we found out he wasn't invited. I'm thinking it was her parents possible mistake but I'm not going to bring something up if he's not going anyway. FH offered to move his bachelor party, he cared enough to offer that but I told him no just don't worry about it because it's really not worth it. He's also a bit let down about it.

All I'm saying Melissa is even the simplest things are forgotten when wedding planning. There is another thread up where the FH forgot to invite a groomsmen so before i get upset I would ask because everyone forgets. People say all the time on here that your wedding isn't as important to them as their daily life. Could be the people who sent the invitation forgot about the wedding a couple months down the road because their wedding is more important to them than the OP wedding. It happens sometimes.

Brittnay A honestly i would ask then. I know its an UO but if she's always kind and happy for me I would ask. And if FH was willing to make changes before he changes his mind i would ask. I'm pretty sure they didn't intentionally leave him out because they were simply counting the people in your parents household. Unless he lives with you there. Then that's a different story

Alana G, If someone chooses to not follow basic etiquette then I'm going to choose to point it out to them so they can either correct their mistake or reiterate to me that don't care about basic etiquette. And I know that planning a wedding is stressful and details slip through the cracks. I hope that if I did something like leave someone's so off of an invite that they would bring it to my attention so I could immediately correct it.

1000% agree @k squared

Personally, if this were to happen to me...an eye roll with my close sister would probably happen (not getting a separate invite for both FH & I); but in the end if FH already had plans (bach party)...I'd still go to be with family.

I see no point in saying anything. What will it do? The invites have already been sent.

Now if FH didn't already have plans...yea, I'd probably msg the bride & verify that he was/wasn't invited & see where that convo went.

@Alana G if people choose not to follow basic etiquette, they should know that they will be hurting feelings and possibly alienating people. The rules are there for a reason.

For my first wedding, I forgot to invite a groomsman's wife. She was too polite to say anything to me about it, and to this day she hates me for it. She is totally justified, and I wish so much that her or her husband had pointed out my faux pas earlier. It would have been awkward, but I would have fixed it if I could. No amount of apology on my part in the years since has repaired the damage.

So....I would be inclined to find out, quietly, whether this was a genuine moment of forgetful idiocy or a really rude move.

I would go to the shower but not the wedding. I wouldn't stoop to that level of pettiness--if they're friends I would still invite her and her husband to your wedding.

Exactly @orchids that's why I say I would ask. Everything is pointing to they just forgot. 1. The invitation was addressed to the mother and father. 2. The RSVP said 5 seats were reserved in your honor 3. There are 5 people in her house. If it were me I would assume they were just adding the people in the parents house as they did on every other invitation they sent out. I don't thing it was intentional and therefore I would ask

Tbh i would have your parents clarify who tf the 5 seats are for, since the invite was only addressed to them. for all we know, they could be not including younger brother, instead of FH. Either way, having them ask raises the issue, and if they come and say, well it's meant for the three "kids," something could be mentioned on forgetting about FH. No need to be rude about it, but you're also under no obligation to attend either, which it seems you're not comfortable w. I just wouldn't get petty about it re: your invites.

I once had a wedding invitation from a close friend that indicated nothing about a plus one (I had a long term boyfriend at the time). I assumed I would attend alone, which was fine, as I'm close with her family as well. However, in the weeks before her wedding, I saw an instagram post of her hand-lettered place cards, which included my then-SOs name. She had really just forgotten in the shuffle to formally invite this man. That said, how odd that you weren't sent a separate invitation. Definitely make contact and ask if this is an oversight. Also, how kind of your FH to reschedule his party.

Alana, your argument is that some people simply choose not to follow etiquette, as if that's an excuse? If they forgot, maybe that's forgivable to some, but even that is a crappy excuse because how do you forget she's engaged? And how do you not know that a grown adult who's about to be married herself needs her own invitation? She isn't "one of the kids" anymore. Etiquette exists for a reason and if you don't follow it, expect to alienate people.

I agree with @cokesmcgokes. I would have your parents double-check who the five included actually are because maybe they're choosing not to invite one of your siblings? Nothing would surprise me with this couple.

I think I would attend if FH was invited but unable to attend vs him not being invited at all. That really does seem rude.

I would attend the wedding anyways. He wasn't planning on attending anyways so just go with your family. They probably don't have space and didn't understand rules for invites. I tend to be more laid back about stuff and give people the benefit of the doubt so I personally wouldn't make a big deal and boycott the wedding. You'd be going with your family and not alone.

They definitely should have given you your own invitation, as an adult. Your fiancé also should definitely have been invited- it is a MAJOR faux pas/breach of etiquette not to invite him!!! I would call the cousin and ask clearly if FH is invited. It may have been an oversight, and asking your cousin also gives them a chance to save face by pretending it was an oversight even if it wasn't. Or you could just add him to the RSVP card which is passive-aggressive haha, but you run the risk of them considering YOU the rude one. This is a family wedding, and your FH is about to be your family!

ETA: Just read that he can't go anyway. I'm a passive-aggressive biatch and I would be sure to mention something like, "We just got your invitation, its beautiful! FH has a bachelor party that day so won't be able to make it but I can't wait for your wedding!" I wouldn't boycott the wedding over him not being invited.

I'd be annoyed but go anyway. I'm usually a petty betty but I wouldn't want to miss someone's wedding. I might bring it up. Again, I'd be annoyed.

I've traveled to weddings without FH and I have severe clinical anxiety. I made it work.

I would still go. I'd also be a little petty and not purchase a separate gift for them since you were included as a child on your parents' invite.

However you and your 18yo sibling should have received your own invites. My nephews live with my brother and SIL but are over the age of 18, they will receive their own invites with their gfs included.

Funny. My adult cousin and her husband live with my Aunt, and 5 minutes ago my Aunt called to say she got her invite. She was also shocked I sent a separate invite to her daughter and son-in-law. Some people really just don't know what proper etiquette is.

I'd just send her invitation saying we've reserved 1 seat in her honor.